I have just recently spent the night in a Police Cell. My partner was the one who rang them to say that I'd been making threats of self-harm. I live on my own, but have had my partner and the people he lives with wanting me to stay with them because I'd recently overdosed and cut. Unfortunately I know I am difficult to cope with and my partner was showing signs of his difficulty; which is why I felt it necessary for me to go back to my own flat.
I hate hurting people.
I do not get out much and do not have much of a social life. At times I experience intense fear when I have to leave my flat. I struggle making it to appointments - however a major point of fear arises regarding hospitals and police stations.
I was out of my depth spending time over-night in the police cell and felt angry towards my Partner for putting me through that suffering. He knows I dislike going there as he has called on the police like this a few times now over the years. He see's the distress I'm in after arriving back. I am back round with him and my friends now, however it all feels wrong. I am usually close to the people who he lives with, but they are behaving differently towards me. I think they are trying to toughen me up as they are not being very attentive or empathetic towards me.
So here I am feeling more needy than ever; so I ask the question. How on earth to I begin to cope with situation? I am also still feeling 'shaken' up by my experience at the police station.
Maybe they think by not giving it attention it will go away? Maybe they don't know how to start a conversation with you about it?
A police cell is the wrong place to be. Hospital would be more appropriate.
Have you thought about a short stay in hospital or in respite?
Have you tried medication/ therapy for your anxiety.
Have you been offered support from a social worker who could work with you in the community?
Sounds like you need to have a psych consult so you can discuss where you're at and formulate a plan to move forward.
I guess self-help books, etc might help to a degree. Isn't really a substitute for professional help though.
Just be kind to yourself and give yourself permission to feel what you feel. It doesn't mean to act on self-harming thoughts but just means it's OK to feel the way you do and there are things you can do to help yourself or at the least not make the situation worse.
Hi and thank you for the invite and sure I accept. I have a terrible memory though so you write to me, if I don't see your name I will forget about you until I really get to know you. Just being honest. You are a very pretty young lady and my heart goes out to you because you have quite a disability you are trying to work with. It is highly important to your happiness and everyone elses around you that you stay in therapy and on your meds at all times. Have you had a diagnosis? Have you joined some mental health forums here at medhelp? You will find alot of helpful and caring people here. So whether you know it yet or not, you have struck oil here!! Looking forward to talking. I'm so sorry about your experience at jail. You certainly did not get any help there! I am sure your partner did not want to do it, but it was a desparate attempt to save you from yourself. Just try to relax now and enjoy being free and at home. Write again. Hug :)
I have accepted your friend invitation, thank you. I see you say you need friends. Did you choose me because I live in the UK too?
I am on the depression site, so you will have to bring me up to date as to what
exactly is your diagnosis. I am not sure what borderline personality disorder is. looks like it is very tough to deal with.
I am an old lady, and have had depression a long time. I have been in a psychiatric hospital, and seen various psychiatrists, psychologists and counsellors, so I have some idea of what you are going through, as we both have mental health problems.
I will try to support you all I can. How are you now. Your last posting was when you had been in police station. I do hope you are over that. You can talk to me as much as you wish. I am always here. Tell me about yourself.
Some people believe that in order to 'save' a person with depression you should not 'enable them'. This means resorting to being inattentive and less compassionate if any at all! Sometimes it works because persons are forced to stand on their own but often time it goes in the opposite direction. I think your partner was just very afraid for you and the fact that you were no longer living with him made his fear worse. Honestly hon, I completely understand why you moved out but you understand that if your partner did not love you, then he would not go to this extreme length.
Please try and get some counseling and help. Ask your boyfriend to HELP you make your appointments. Try all that you can to get better!
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