What if all the bad stuff people say about bpd is true what if we are all liars, attention seekers, manipulative and agressive angry people who abuse everyone they meet, no wonder they don't want to help us, who would, maybe its better they let us self-harm and be suicidal maybe that is their plan to get rid of us, just a though eh? Fed up reading all the attacks make on bpd yeah ok i am an agressive useless ***** who self-harms and is suicidal just to get attention, i abuse my partner and family and i am so imperfect and do nothing right which is why everyone hates me, now i bet everyone who reads this believes this of me because i have bpd but if i wrote i am a worthy human being who was raped repeatedly as a child and adult, still continuing to this day would that excuse my behaviour would that give me reason to self-harm and be suicidal? No one sees that though do they and no one knows, no one knows all those attempts are attempts to escape this not get ******* ATTENTION, what use will that do me? Anyone not making sense anymore not even to myself, not sure what triggered this maybe reading all the attacks on bpd, hope everyone has a happy and healthy life.
I am so sorry for your abuse. I hope you get the help you need for the ongoing rape. Women's shelters can sometimes help, or YWCA's often have support groups.
I have bipolar disorder, just on this site to see how the BPD people are doing as I know you have a really tough time of it.
Don't know if it helps but if I had been through what you've gone through I would end up in the same place. I haven't been raped so on a scale of one to ten the abuse I went through was a 2 and yours is a 10. I just know how worthless I felt at times, I self harmed because I didn't know what else to do to turn off the feelings. And my abuse was minor.
I hear that dialectic therapy is really helpful for BPD. I hope it is available where you live. People can and do get better, but it is a long road.
I really hope you leave the abusive situation. I understand though that it is tough. If my husband hadn't of left me - I would probably still be there. I hope you have more courage than I did. BTW - second marriage - great guy - farthest thing from abusive there is.
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