Alright. I've been desperately seeking an answer to my question.
I don't know if i have just a weird *** personality or if i actually have a disorder causeing it.
I've looked through all the personality disorders and only some apply to me by my standards.
The ones that describe me the most are Schizoid personality disorder, but i do express my anger very well. Only my anger though. I have a really hard time expressing love, sympathy, happiness... things like that. The only thing that i feel really is anger and sadness. I get happy sometimes, but it doesn't seem to genuine.
Avoident personality disorder, but i do not feel socially inept. Actually i feel a but superior to most people. I'm just not comfortable with social situations or anything. I don't like it at all. I'm very withdrawn. I don't even go to my families birthday parties.
Also Borderline personality disorder, but i'm not neaty at all, i don't even like having relationships with anyone and i would never feel neaty. I'm very independant. I would NOT like it at all if it was intimate. I would feel really sad if i got abandoned but i'm not neaty.
I'm mean but i don't think i'm too narcissistic. I don't really feel remorse. Cause emotions don't really register with me right. But i can feel remorse for my family but i'm still very foward with them and sometimes end up hurting their feelings. I'm kind of misanthropic.
Everyone says i'm just really weird.
All of these disorders that i've written down, i have all the symptoms but the ones i said i don't have. I also recently found out that i have a INTP personality. I don't agree with some of it but it's pretty much me.
I'm confused. Is this whole thing just a really weird personality or do i just have some kind of disorder?
No one here is qualified to diagnose your condition. You have so many different things going on that I'm not sure you match any of our conditions. For your own peace of mind you must see a psychologist or psychiatrist. If the one you see first is not working for you, choose someone else.
Don't get too hung up on labels. Rarely does anyone with a psychological disorder fit any label 100%, and most "normal" people are just a few criteria from having practically every label in the book. Focus more on the symptoms. If the things you describe above are very distressing and/or interfering with your life and relationships, then you might consider speaking to your doctor or a psychologist.
As was previously mentioned, nobody will ever have 100 % of symptoms for a given disorder. In addition, every single person could look up disorders in a book and say, 'Oh no, I definitely have that'. The thing is, everybody experiences all of the symptoms in the mental health books. The real question is, to what degree do you experience them. Obviously you feel that you experience most of these to a higher degree than the average person. The best advice I can give you is something that you probably will not be willing to do, but it is the smoothest solution to the problems you are facing. You need to spend more time around people, start going to your families parties, and even invite them over now and then with no occasion. Make new friends at school, or work, or anywhere else you might go. The most important thing is to have social interactions, until you feel more comfortable around people.
just stumbled accross your post, just wanted to say have you considered that theres nothing wrong??? its just that people get right on your nerves?!, i am similar. for many years i didnt want to be with someone as i was selfish-and i liked being that way, i am different now but back then i was (apparently) cold, confrontational and sharp...
i look back and think well-i just said what i felt (or what others dare not say because they didnt have the guts...), i had a very outgoing personality and most people just couldnt accept i was very independant and found me hard.
i dont think you should be too quick to label yourself, be glad to be you, be glad to be an individual, even if you have a 'conditition' who cares you are still you...from what youve said you are just a big personality who knows what they want and like and are getting confused by other peoples opinions...which frankly dont matter :o)
p.s.theres no such thing as bdp i read in a medical pshychiatric manual that its a term given to hypochondriacs to shut them up and its a term advised by the medical board to give people a label to toddle off home with...nice of them to be honest hey?
my personal belief is there are a lot less personality disorders than people think...why arent we viewing our unique differences as PERSONALITY? i wish people werent so afraid generally to be different or have great and interesting personalilties like yourself...be proud ;o)
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