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a specific symptom from a family member
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a specific symptom from a family member

My mother has BPD and having grown up with it, I feel fairly tuned into the signs; I have a friend who has a girlfriend I am fairly sure is BPD. I'm no clinical expert, but it seems all the signs are there.  My question is this: one of the things I have noticed about my mum and also this friends girlfriend is a way of almost fantasizing a sequence of events that hasn't happened.  For example, I have often been accused of being violent to mum, when I haven't. (She has also self harmed - through scratching - and said I did it) Also, when I have confronted her with her actions, she will frequently deny they have happened. This could be as little as the time she told me I wasn't allowed my passport, or it can be an act of violence towards me.  Most recently, she punched on the back and denied it (well, said it was a little push.) She doesn't ALWAYS deny it (but usually, I think that may be when the physical evidence is too hard to deny). My friend also goes through similar things with his girfriend.  Most recently, he had smashed up the house and beaten her up.  (though I wasn't physically there, there are various reasons that I know this isn't true.) I've found with mum (as with my friends situation) that the fantasies (sorry can't think of a better word) are usually not completely dreamed up out of the blue, but exaggerations of things which actually have happened: For example, I have, in the past, when mum has been attacking me, pushed her away from me: this would then be reinvented as me throwing her to the floor in my own fit of rage.  Similar with the friend the other night.  They did have a row - him smashing the house up was a broken glass (not broken deliberately - though he admits that in frustration he half threw it into the sink and it broke).  Now, I have read some articles (mainly online) about BPD, but haven't as yet, seen this discussed as a symptom, so I wondered whether this was something anyone could relate to? (either as a partner, family member, or person with BPD). As it seems to me that both people share this symptom. Also, if this is a symptom, what are peoples thoughts on the "fantasies".  I can't call them lies, because, to some degree at least, I think that they are truly believed.  
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remar
st. louis, MO