I posted yesterday about my boyfriend who has BPD being hospitalised and I have had some time to think things over and I am starting to wonder what is really going on. He lives in another country so it's impossible for me to know for sure if he is actually in hospital. I know this sounds horrible, and i feel very guilty but I think he might be pretending to be there as he knows by telling me this that i will be upset. I have been very busy the past week or so preparing for a very big interview and I feel it's odd that my interview and his being admitted to hospital happened on the same day. he knows I would be upset and forget about my life and put him first, which i do all the time. I have recently become aware of how much i focus on him and realised I needed to focus on myself again more. I am not a selfish person, I do all I can to support him but never feel I get the same amount of support back
In the summer a man followed me home one evening and threatened me, it was very scary. For a while I was unable to sleep or eat or relax. I became depressed and had panic attacks. During that time I was told by him that I needed to pull myself together and grow a backbone. I went for counselling and over a period of three months I got over the incident and was able to feel better but it was really hard and even though he apologised for being unsupportive I now find myself resenting having to support him again. In the time we have been together I have been very kind and loving and respectful of his feelings but I just don't know how much more I can give.
I don't know what to do
did u happen to get my email,?hope so if not rewrite to me and ill rewrite it to u.i understand completely how u feel and why and this is what i was trying to say in the email .email me if u get the chance ok
I think he is in hospital, he is on a depression ward and they took him in voluntarily. I did think he could be lying but dont think that now. I do agree I am trying to support a person who seems to run away from his responsibilities. Are you saying this to me because you have had similar problems. I find your honesty refreshing but also hard as I have been so hopeful for us. Since he has been there he has been a lot nicer to me and has called me and tried to explain but it is so hard to understand when I hear him say stuff like he isnt in the mood for therapy some days. I have come to the point where I dont know what to do and its making me so unhappy. I also feel like an idiot. Sorry, but this is such a hard time for me right now
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