Borderline Personality Disorder Community
feeling unsure about what to do
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feeling unsure about what to do

I posted yesterday about my boyfriend who has BPD being hospitalised and I have had some time to think things over and I am starting to wonder what is really going on. He lives in another country so it's impossible for me to know for sure if he is actually in hospital. I know this sounds horrible, and i feel very guilty but I think he might be pretending to be there as he knows by telling me this that i will be upset. I have been very busy the past week or so preparing for a very big interview and I feel it's odd that my interview and his being admitted to hospital happened on the same day. he knows I would be upset and forget about my life and put him first, which i do all the time. I have recently become aware of how much i focus on him and realised I needed to focus on myself again more. I am not a selfish person, I do all I can to support him but never feel I get the same amount of support back
In the summer a man followed me home one evening and threatened me, it was very scary. For a while I was unable to sleep or eat or relax. I became depressed and had panic attacks. During that time I was told by him that I needed to pull myself together and grow a backbone. I went for counselling and over a period of three months I got over the incident and was able to feel better but it was really hard and even though he apologised for being unsupportive I now find myself resenting having to support him again. In the time we have been together I have been very kind and loving and respectful of his feelings but I just don't know how much more I can give.
I don't know what to do
4 Comments Post a Comment
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Avatar_f_tn
did u happen to get my email,?hope so if not rewrite to me and ill rewrite it to u.i understand completely how u feel and why and this is what i was trying to say in the email .email me if u get the chance ok
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757137_tn?1347200053
The most important ingredients for a loving relationship are missing. Supporting someone does not mean holding up dead weight. Find someone who is worthy of you.

And, no, I don't think he was in the hospital. They don't hospitalize you for that sort of thing, unless you have attempted suicide, or something like that. And then they put you in the psych ward.
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4582320_tn?1358125025
I think he is in hospital, he is on a depression ward and they took him in voluntarily. I did think he could be lying but dont think that now. I do agree I am trying to support a person who seems to run away from his responsibilities. Are you saying this to me because you have had similar problems. I find your honesty refreshing but also hard as I have been so hopeful for us. Since he has been there he has been a lot nicer to me and has called me and tried to explain but it is so hard to understand when I hear him say stuff like he isnt in the mood for therapy some days. I have come to the point where I dont know what to do and its making me so unhappy. I also feel like an idiot. Sorry, but this is such a hard time for me right now
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757137_tn?1347200053
I read your last entry after I read your message and replied to it. Ask him what sort of treatment they are giving him.
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