suicide

This is not a question. I just need help. My husband is a very smart man, but he sometimes forgets to put his guns in the gun safes. This is dangerous for me because it starts the obsession thing to kick in. I want to call my psychologist but am afraid of the consequiences for my husband. If he gets in trouble, then he is mad at me for making him come home from work.

[ILADVOCATE]

I would leave the house right now and go somewhere safe. If you have suicidal ideations  or even obsessions then you need to speak to someone. Then where you are you can call your husband and inform him when he comes home from work and create a future arrangement that the gun be in the gun safe because for everyone's welfare that is where they should be kept.

[young46]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{me screaming}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
What I thought would happen did. I called my doc- he gave me the same advice as you - leave the house and call husband.  Just as I had predicted my husband said I wouldn't have found his gun if I hadn't been going through his stuff. Now I feel alone and lonely. I feel as if the only one who can comfort me is my doc. He assures me I will be able to comfort myself some day. I HATE MY HUSBAND - why doesn't he want to understand my obsessions and know that once I start thinking about guns - nothing will stop me.

[ILADVOCATE]

Your husband has to respect your safety and so in this case he has to follow along but your psychiatrist is the one to call in this case and it would be essential to make a follow up visit to him to speak about having treatment adjusted so that you don't have those feelings to begin with. If you have concerns about your husband in any regard you can discuss that then as well.

[jo929]

You do not give your age or how long, you have been married,You must need lots of help if certain things set you off, were you seeing a Dr when you got married, cant you build up some self esteem and self control on some of these things you will be in certain situations in life where you will have to make a decision. and it needs to be athe right one and suicide is not the answer to anything.  luck  jo

[young46]

I appreciate your comments - because I can't be w/ my psychologist 24/7 I need a empathetic and helpful ear. Believe it or not we've been married 25 years and I've been seeing a psychiatrist for 20 years. You would think by this time he would be more aware of what my triggers are. He got a new gun and all week long he has been showing it to me because he's so proud of it. When he went to work one day I started looking for it, hoping it wasn't in one of the gun safes. It wasn't. When he found out about my finding the gun he said I shouldn't have been looking through his stuff. True enough - but the point is he needs to keep his guns locked up and has been told this more than once by my Doctors. Now I am furious with him and don't want to see him again until marriage counseling tomorrow night.

[young46]

my husband and I are married - not my psychologist. Didn't want a mixup there

[BeeKeeper]

OK...I'm sure I'll catch some flak for this response, but this post has been on my mind for several days.  I also obsess over handguns.  I've handled firearms since I was nine...for hunting, military, and protection.  I've come dangerously close to using one for the wrong reasons.  My wife locked them away and then I sold them...but nothing stops me from going to a sporting goods store and asking to "see" a pistol just to hold it in my hands.  Actually, there are no restrictions that would prevent me from buying another.  Then for me not to cross is very clear...to never load a pistol I hold in my hands when I'm alone.  Obsession can be a drug and after all is said and done - you have to find a way to try and control it.  I'm not going to call my psych doc everytime i feel this draw, nor am I going to go to in-patient.  holding a weapon at a store is a safe environment.  If there are guns in the house, make sure you don't cross the line - and believe me, I do know how tempting it is.  I know the thoughts all to well of immediate peace and feeling that weapon is the key from existence to the next...but you don't want to do that.  there is too much life left for anyone to cross the line.  You never kow when circumstances will change, or when meds will start working to help you find peace here.  

Don't feed the obsession...try to control it in a safe manner.  if you can't completely change the behaior, just put boundaries around it.  Try to change your view of the weapon from being a key to peace to it just being a "thing". A powerful tool that you have more power over.

Hang in there, and if you ever need to talk, just yell.

[young46]

Thanks for the encouragment BeeKeeper - often I blame my lack of self control on my disease, but truth is, I also have a responsibility to not act upon my obsessions. It's very enticing to feed my obsession just as an alcohalic feeds his need for alchohal.