Stage IV mets to liver and spince

Hello,

My 68 year old mother is currently in the process of being 'offically' diagnosed with stage iv breast cancer (the biopsy was performed this week).

My mother has been healthy her whole life, a full physical last year including a mammogram.  The doctor asked her to lose weight, as her blood pressure was a little high.  Mom lost 35lb pounds by cutting her portion size and watching her grandchildren.  She went to the doctor in Feb for her annual and that's when our world crumbled.  They did general bloodwork and foound that her white blood cell count was high.  They sent the results to a haemotoligist who ordered a CT scan.  Within 3 weeks, we went from being healthly to potentially having leukiema to total exhaustion kicking in to breast cancer that has spread to her lymph nodes, liver and spine.  How the hell did this happen?????

I'm  so scared right now.  My Mother is handling this very well, in fact, a lot better than I.

Can anyone tell me if there are any an treatments I should have her avoid?  Will her energy level ever return?  I'm so use to seeing a woman iwho is so strong.  To see her wanting to lie down all day breaksm myh heart.

Thanks,
Louise

[Ma111]

Her counts being off will make her tired, so does depression from the dx.
The doctor will recomend treatment and the side effects with medication to help the side effects.
Usually in stage IV, treatment is oriented to improving quality of life. Go to the doctor with her and than do some research, pubmed is one of my favorite sites.
I cannot really say treatments to avoid, life circumstances and what she wants play a big role here. I also don't know what your mother wants from treatment.
I'm sure your heart is broken very severly. Your mother is also very scared, just putting on a front, that is normal.
Let us know. Post often, there are a lot of good people on this site.

[katarina777]

I am so sorry you have to be dealing with all of this, and so unexpectedly, and from all healthy to all sick. I am also surprised nothing showed up on her mammogram a year ago. but they are sure it started out in the breast, right?

Usually, one learns from a biopsy how bad the cancer is, like the stage, and many other things which are then formed into a more exact diagnosis, treatment plan and sense of prognosis,

In your mother's case, we already know that it is very serious and very aggressive cancer if it grew and spread so fast.

I think the reason she is feeling so ill comes from her cancer spreading to the liver. This happened to me, too. Nausea is one of the worst symptoms, I think. Weight loss with liver mets is very common, and also tiredness and weakness.

My guess is that the next thing that will happen is that she will be treated with chemotherapy, and although that can also have side effects, it may also make a huge difference in the way she feels and improves. (Sometimes, one chemo may not agree with a person, or work and then has to be switched)

But generally, breast cancer is very responsive to chemotherapy. (And even though it has spread to spine and liver, it will always be breast cancer)

I started chemo recently for my own mets and I have very few side effects and I feel like a new person.

Also, I want to say that I do not agree with the above comments in that your mom feels as bad or worse than you, but just does not show it.

in my experience, suffering and worrying sort of stays in the family, and in this case your being so worried actually takes that aspect away from her.

It is usually assumed that a cancer patient who does not suffer much is very strong and brave when that is really nothing but an assumption. I know all my cancer has been much harder on my family than on myself and I am glad that I am the one who has it rather than my daughter or mother. Also, some patients have an easier time with treatment and the side effects and it has nothing to do, (as far as I am concerned) with the degree of positive or negative thinking. Cancer did not make me depressed and even if it did, these things are all relative. trust your mom and also yourself. if she feels good support her and if she feels like crap support her, and you also need support and you are all in this together.

It is true that your mother cannot be cured but she may well be around for quite a bit longer, especially since she was healthy all her life before. none of us know how well she will do and how long she will do. cancer is a process and chronic, not an acute event.

Write back to update us and also if you have more questions or just a supportive place, OK?

KATRIN

[katarina777]

ma, I am sorry if I sounded a little harsh about what you said, and if I could take it back I would as I had no intention of hurting you, and I did not think about that at the time. I appreciate the efforts you make when you comment, and just want to say 'sorry'. Katrin

[Ma111]

I am currently putting on a front for my teenager. When she realizes my situation I would rather her talk to me. This is what I had in mind when I wrote the above. Communication within the family is a good thing!
I also think that depression is under treated in the medical community. Not everyone gets it, however treatment for all involved in a stage IV should be offered.
This is a hard situation for Louis, lets let her know as many options/opinions that are there and then let her decide.