Her2+ with mets Liver, lymph, bone

[debbie143]

My dearest friend has Her2+ cancer with advanced liver mets (she's very jaundice).
Dr. put her on Xeloda and Tykerb. She is on a 2 week on, 1 week off cycle. Her side effects have been severe. (i.e dehydration, throwing up, no appetite, mouth sores, nausea, you name it, she has it)
Her last visit to the Dr. (she goes about twice a week) just yesterday, he told her (in her words) that "everything is shrinking, and you'll have to be on this for the rest of your life. It's like having high blood pressure, you take medicine for the rest of your life to keep it controlled. This isn't something you can't live with."
Now, with that said, I'm appalled!! I've done extensive research, and with her secondary liver canver so advanced as it is, and the drug therapy she is on, I didn't see anywhere where people survive this and live for years. Not to be negative, I would LOVE for this that the Dr has said to be true. He has made MANY mistakes with my friend in the past, and personally, don't trust a word he tells her. My question is, can someone, with cancer as severe as hers is, (its in her lymphnodes and lower back as well, but, liver cancer is extensive and advanced, had cancer 1st 3 yrs ago, did a lumpectomy, and treatment for 8 months, then 4 months later it was back, then did a total mastectomy, treatment for (chemo) for 6 mo, was still on Herceptin when she became jauntice, tests revealed liver cancer)
can someone live on the combination drugs (Tykerb, Xeloda) for years? Or is her cancer too advanced, and this will only buy her a few added months...
Thanks!! Any feedback would be appreciated.
Debbie

[katarina777]

I have a friend who was diagnosed with lung cancer and brain mets. The ER doctor told her she had 6 months. My friend's  daughter responded by saying he wasn't GOD and her mother would not die in six months. That was over three years ago, and my friend is doing well. but in the meantime, her husband was diagnosed with cancer and died a few weeks later.

Then my aunt was expecting me to die by now, and now she only has a few months left after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer that has spread everywhere .

it's just a bunch of storied to tell you that things work in their own strange ways and usually not as expected?

Kat

[katarina777]

And Debbie, I don't want you to feel like an idiot, and if you were wrong in doubting the words of the doctor. You know your friend and her doctor much better than we do.

We don't know that your friend will live for ten years or even one!

I think it is OK that you are weary, and worried she will not live long. It's not a black or white answer.

And there may come the time when you will be helping her die and not live any longer. And when someone is dying it's certainly not helpful to tell them they have ten years to live. I think your friend will know when that happens and also her doctor.

You don't have to believe everything the doctor says. he's not only a doctor but human, right?

he may as well be lying not only to her but to himself, and even if he isn't, nobody knows the exact time frames, except when it gets very close.

So, I want you to trust yourself as well and ..I am trying to ve helpful to you.

Best wishes to you both and I am sorry about your friend and you, too.

KATRIN

[SueYoung55]

Tell your friend to ask her Doctor for EMEND to take with chemo. It should help the nausea ALOT, and maybe put it to bed! And since she's having hydration issues, there is NO reason they can't give her a bag of fluids either right before her treatment or right after and that will go a long way to getting fluids in. That may sound easy but during chemo you aren't thirsty for water and like me, I couldn't force it down.

There are so many women living with cancer right now. Please notice I said living. Some in treatment, some not. Each makes a choice. As a friend, it's very difficult to watch, support, care for and stay positive when you see her struggle. She is deciding to fight it and at this point has decided it's more important to fight than the side effects. Watching your friend so weak and sick breaks your heart. You are being positive around her and supporting her every step of the way. That is the definition of best friend. God bless you. I wish you the strength you are going to need because this is an ugly battle with the ugliest of beasts! We're here if you need a shoulder :)

Also saying a prayer for your  lucky friend, that she has you in her life.

[japdip]

You have the right idea there .... keep up the good work; everyone should have a friend like you ....... CONGRATS !!!!

[debbie143]

Thanks for your comment... it's very uplifting to hear. I guess she just looks so weak and sick, I just couldn't see past her getting better. I really hope she can survive another 10 years with it in her liver.... I pray for her everynight! And believe me, I make her laugh, and am so supportive through all of this... I just get scared, and want to be prepared for the worst and pray for the best!
Thanks again!!

[japdip]

Each case is vastly different and I personally know Stage 4 Breast Cancer Survivors who have lived well more than 10 years and life is quite good. This may well be the case with your friend. Her Oncologist is the one who knows the most about her particular situation and one should always keep a positive attitude as this helps a great deal. Often the side effects will lessen the longer you are on the medication. Be supportive and help her maintain a positive outlook.  Regards ...