Dear sltennis: The 5 year survival for stage 4 breast cancer is approximately 15%. The liklihood of surviving one year with stage 4 breast cancer is about 60%. Please understand that statistics represent all breast cancer patients with stage 4 disease, whether it is in one spot or spread throughout. I have known many women with stage 4 disease who have lived for years with a good quality of life. Her treatments will depend somewhat on the specifics of her tumor (whether it is estrogen/progesterone receptor positive and whether it expresses the HER2/neu antigen) but it will most likely include chemotherapy. Herceptin would only be an option if the tumor is HER2/neu positive. There are good treatments for breast cancer and there is a reasonable chance that your wife could do well for quite a while.
The American Cancer Society has a great board to post to, for people who are going through all stages cancer treatment( some are just starting and others are finished) It's called the "Cancer Survivors Network" www.acscsn.org ,,,,, There are no Dr's , just a GREAT group of women who are going through (or have gone through) the same thing that you and your wife are experiencing right now.I know that there are several there who have "mets". If you post they will offer you support,advice, and share their own personal journey's with you and your wife, or you can just read through the archives. It is a very caring group and a lot of the women there are truely insirational.
Thanks for the information.