Breastfeeding and Potty Training

Hi Ladies,

My daughter is 16 months and my babysitter mentioned that my daughter won't sit on the potty because she's still nursing. She said that my daughter still considers herself as a baby. Anyone had problems potty training?

[mikaleen]

Hey.  16 months is WAY early for potty training.  Most kids don't realize the feeling they have to go, and can't control it if they do at that point.  Age 3 is average for potty training, and some kids aren't fully trained even until 4.  My oldest daughter was so easy and had trained herself around age 2, and my 2 year old now is hit or miss.  Sometimes she goes on the potty and sometimes she doesn't.  I wouldn't even try to start potty training a 16 month outside of having a potty seat and letting her sit on it for fun if she wants to get used to it.  She doesn't relate breastfeeding to being a baby, she can't say to herself "oh, I'm breastfeeding, that makes me a baby".  She breastfeeds, knows her needs are being met, and that she is being comforted by you, and that wouldn't have any bearing on potty training.  I'd tell the babysitter to keep her mouth shut and that your daughter is not being potty trained right now, you are waiting until she shows signs she is ready.

[tiredbuthappy]

your daughter is still a baby :) She's 16 months old!! Of course she is most likely not ready or willing to sit on the potty. Your babysitter's standards are way off. Trust me. As a toddler teacher I helped potty train nearly 100 kids. Very few sat on the potty before 2. Of course, some kids can and do, but most won't. She's not even 1 1/2 yet! I hope your sitter doesn't start criticizing her for not knowing her abc's yet.

ps- great job nursing for so long!!!

[allmymarbles]

Nursing and potty training are not related. My three girls were trained at about 18 months. Here is what you do. Buy a potty chair. Then use the toilet yourself to show her what "ladies" do. Take off her underpants because toddlers can't wait if they have to go. Always take the potty chair with you when  you change rooms. When your daughter uses the potty do not reward or punish her. Keep it very low key. This is part of growing up. If you make a big fuss everything grows out of proportion. Boys being a little less mature than girls potty train at two years.

[Heatherm4]

The earliest they say that you should start is 18 months because that's around the point that they are aware of when they pee or poop BUT not all 18 months old can hit that stage of development that early.
My son is 15 months and I can't imagine trying him on the potty just yet. I watch a girl that is 2 1/2 and even she is having a difficult time.
There are signs for when they are ready like when they hide to poo or when they stay dry overnight or for longer periods of time or when they show genuine interest in you and the toilet and what you do with it.

[sencopeer]

I agree with every one else.  Breastfeeding has nothing to do with potty training.  Potty training has more to do with your child's ability to recognise that they have to go and then making it to the potty on time.  16 months is a bit early to expect a child to be fully potty trained.  I wonder if your babysitter breastfed.  There seem to be many misconceptions concerning breastfeeding.  Developmentally, your child is not old enough to make a connection between being a "baby" and breastfeeding.  Besides the natural weaning age of human beings is between 2 1/2 and 8.  How many 8 year old do you see walking around in a diaper?  It seems to me as if your babysitter's statement is based more on personal opinion rather than research based information.  I would ignore her if I were you.

[zazou]

She is early at 16 months to be potty trained and BF and potty training are not connected as mentioned above. Your daughter is still small, don't expect much from her. Why is the babysitter pushing her to get potty trained? Is she really ready and is she showing signs that she is? That's important. My daughter is 2 years old and 8 months and she started showing interested at 18 months, starting going every now and then but didn't really continuously start until about the age of 2 years old. Now she just wears diapers to bed. So every child is different but we looked out for the signs of readiness.

I also breastfed until the age of 22 months and we had had no potty training problems, they were not associated with one another. Ask your babysitter what exactly does she mean with her comment. It's rather odd to be honest.

Good on you for breastfeeding so long!

[allmymarbles]

"Besides the natural weaning age of human beings is between 2 1/2 and 8."

On what  planet are they weaned at age eight?

I spent almost 25 in developed countries and in third-world countries The longest anyone breastfed was three years. And the reason they breastfed that long was to keep them from getting pregnant. To that purpose in the last year (or more) they only breastfed once a day.

[Heatherm4]

I just wanted to add on that your babysitter probably made that comment because she knows that it's too early for your daughter to start potty training and it was maybe a nice way of saying it.

[tiredbuthappy]

let's please keep condescending tones out of these conversations. It is possible to disagree without being rude.

I do believe that sencopeer is referring to what would be the natural weaning age of our species based on scientific analysis of our species (without the advances of technology that we have). I personally haven't read up on it, but I have seen posters refer to it in the past.

I personally know someone who was still breastfeeding well past the age of 4, and it certainly was not for the purpose of birth control. I only share that to point out that generalizations are not always accurate and we can share information on this SUPPORT forum without making others feel as though their comments are going to be ridiculed.

As for the varying perspectives on potty training, it may be partially attributable to the fact that we are from different generations. I have read many articles that the expected age of potty training decades ago was very different than now. But it also goes with different parenting philosophies that were dominant during those times. I believe this is also where some of our differing views on breastfeeding come in. We can share these differing perspectives and experiences without being condescending or mean.

[allmymarbles]

Yes you might find individuals who practice prolonged breastfeeding, but these are unusual, isolated cases. I would be most interested in seeing the scientific analysis you refer to.

Occasionally there is misinformation on MedHelp. If someone does not bring this to the attention of the members it will be accepted as fact. We have divers backgrounds, which is a good thing. Mine happens to be in research with its heavy reliance on accuracy. That makes me sensitive to statements that are not supported by evidence. I am sorry if some people are upset, but it is important to provide helpful guidelines when we can. That is what MedHelp is all about.

[mikaleen]

The thing is, that because we don't have a natural weaning age there is no absolute scientific evidence, however there is predictive ages based on our relations to other large primates, such as chimpanzees.  We are molded by cultural beliefs and have been told to wean by certain ages or milestones for so long, we no longer know when a human child might wean on their own.  Even children weaned at 3 years old are often pushed by us, even if subconsciously.  

Dr. Dettwyler is best known for her work studying the duration of breastfeeding in humans as it relates to other mammals, primarily the nonhuman primates. According to her research, the natural age of weaning is 2½ to 7 years old as determined by weight gain, length of gestation, dental eruption, and other factors. She also studies the cultural context of breasts and breastfeeding in the United States, and is currently doing research on women in the US who nurse their children longer than 3 years.

http:// www.naturalchild.org/ guest/katherine_dettwyler. html

[tiredbuthappy]

misinformation surfaces quite often on Medhelp. That is to be expected on a public forum. Respectfully presenting what you perceive to be the correct information is what can be difficult at times. With the availability of the internet, one can find "facts" and "studies" that support opposite perspectives on essentially every issue that is debated on all of these forums. Toss in there personal experiences and debates are inevitable. Everyone is entitled to disagree and present their perspective, but is expected to do so respectfully.

mikaleen- thank you for elaborating. That is the study I recall being referred to, and suspect that is what sencopeer was referring to as well. One day when I have more time on my hands, I may read up more on her studies.

[allmymarbles]

Thank you for the information on Dettwyler's theory. As for research on American women who breastfeed, given that for decades almost everyone used formula, thus making breastfeeding largely a reintroduction, it might be too early to come up with reasonable data.

[mature_enough]

I agree. This is a place to find SUPPORT, not debate. Anyone who can read accurately will figure that out.

"This patient support community is for discussions relating to breast feeding, breast and nipple care, feeding techniques, inadequate milk supply, nutrition, proper baby positioning, and work and travel issues."

[SunWorshiper_26]

My daughter began potty training at five months through elimination communication. She now never poops in her diaper only on the potty. She is now 13.5 months and still breastfed and potty training. Each person is different but breastfeeding has nothing to do with potty training. I'm sorry to hear that your babysitter passes that judgement. Be proud mama you are doing a good job. Keep up the good work