Feels guilty...

I feel guilty for two things earler this year I had to make a touf choice.  We had to put my Father in Law in a home he suffered a massive stroke after brain surgery and his seizers were starting to get bad and make him disorenated he almost burnt our house down while my son(who is 5) and I were a sleep.  I also was the full time care giver to my Mouther who passed of cancer. ( She passed May 26th of this year)  My ? is Is it normale to feel guilty I feel like maybe I didn't do anuf for my Mom (her lung culapsed) I was thier holding her hand whin she passed and put everything on hold to take care of her and I just don't have the know how to take care of my Father in Law but everytime we see him He makes me feel even worse

[rtjrevie]

Yes, I do believe it is normal to feel guilty. When a person has had a stoke and has confusion, I believe the best place for them is a nursing home because they can have 24 hour trained caregivers. Sounds like he needs someone to be "watching" him day/night, something you can not realistically be expected to do. Try not to feel guilty and blame yourself, focus on your family/children and whats best for them too. What if something would happen (such as burning your house down) to one of your children, how would the guilt affect you then?  Although it may be tough, try to visit often, and make the best of the situation. Most nursing homes aren't as bad as people think. Take care!