It's been nine months since I cared for my father. It seems like yesterday sometimes....and other times it seems like forever. The first few months following his passing I could barely come to this forum even though I have been a Caregiver all my life...my last was for my father.
I just want you all to know that this forum is still active and monitored. Please feel free to post your concerns and questions. Caregivers need all the support we can muster. You're a blessed group. :o)
I KNOW how difficult LOSS can be. I have buried two partners along with all of my family. I had to go to grief counseling many times to focus on the reality of 'moving on' with my life which was very difficult. The counseling helped although they did not understand my loss although they say they have. The rest was up to me. That took a lot. I kept myself busy, cried a lot and then one day the tears stopped. The hurt was still there but somehow it wasn't as painful. It was time that got me through the rough parts and that is all I can offer experiencing many losses over the years and learning to 'let go' was the roughest part for me. I even had the experience of putting someone on a morphine drip because there was nothing else that could be done and this seemed the most compassionate thing to do. I did have his permission to do this but I was the one who had to give the doctor permission to increase the morphine drip.
I have had a rough time dealing with all my losses. I HAD to let go of the past because it was destroying me in the present. My state of mind was out of direction and my drinking had increased. It took years of therapy for me but I eventually learned to let go BUT THIS SITUATION ONLY APPLIES TO ME. Each situation is individual and healing takes time but the memories will never fade. Just take the memories of the good times and a "TEAR AND A SMILE to comfort you through the rough times.
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