Hi

[Kobuk]

My 86 year old Mother is in ltc, she has been for 2 years.  My Father was in the same one for 2 years, before he died 2 years ago.  I had been their caregiver, as my husband died 10 years ago.  I have a younger sister that was brain damaged at birth, whom I take care of now.  I am her guardian.  Mentally she is about 6.  I have been suffering from depression for about 20 years.  I have a bother and sister out of town.  My bother has tried to get money out of my Father, Mother and now my sister who gets SSI and medicare.  He has been a college student for about 20 years.  He says that he will pay back the money that he wants to borrow, but never does.  He should just get a job!  Sorry, I just want to vent.  I feel bad because I am the only one who visits my Mom.  My sibs came for Dad's funeral and they went thought his clothes, tie tacks, etc, and looked high and low for his will!.  I just wanted my Dad back when he could talk.

[dollyn]

I am so sorry that your other family members have not been there to help you.

I am happy that you take care of your sister and not put her in some home.

have you gotten a chance to go and talk to some one about your depression and everything that has happen,if you haven't you should.

And you may be able to get SSI  also because of your depression.you need to talk to your doctor and have him send you to see some one .

I know first hand how hard it is to take care of some one you love,my son who is 10 has seizures every day .and has not been to school since then.and waiting for school to send some one to work with him 1 hour a day.until things get better for him.And I can't work now and have always worked and I to am suffering from depression and got some medicine to try help get threw what I have been deal with since 2006 and things just get worse every time we have movie to try and get better medical help for him.my husband is in the service.

you are one strong woman.God bless you , your mom and youngest sister.

[Kobuk]

Thank you for your kind words!

[Tuckamore]

Hi Kobuk,

I agree that you are a strong woman. Bless your heart. You shouldn't have to be the only caretaker but I know too well that the responsibility often falls upon one sibling. I am the soul caretaker of my frail and deteriorating 80 year old father.

Your depression sounds situational. I too become depressed. I think that often goes hand in hand when you are the soul caretaker. Are you able to get out with friends? I hope you have someone who can step in and offer care for your sister so you may have time to care for yourself.  

I become angry too that my siblings are no help. Though I feel blessed to still have my father I have no life. I am not able to see friends or spend quality time with my husband as my father's care demands all of my time. So if it helps I can empathize.

I hope you have some strong support from friends. Take care!