Crazy Cat

[Kellyas4409]

Ever since i meet my fiance and we all moved in together my cat has been having issues. He really didnt get along with my fiance but they made it work until about 2 months ago. My cat was playing with his shoe but he had to get up to my cat got mad and ever since then he hides all day behind the washer n dryer and only comes out at night. Plus my fiance stopped working and now stays home. I use to be the one home all day. My cat wont even come out when i come home. Its to the point that if he didnt come out for food or meow when i get next to the washer n dryer i wont know i had a cat.

[meggers570]

i totally forgott to mention catnip!!!! have fiance give the kitters cat nip preferably fresh and strong! and stick some catnip toys in his dresser drawers hang some toys in the closett with his clothes too. kitters will like that smell and warm up to him.

[meggers570]

cats are funny about change. one thing that has worked in the past for me is leaving clothing out with that person's scent and only that in a designated aarea for kitters. it's kinda a tough love thing, but they get used to the scent.
speaking of scents does the fiance use different soaps? try having him use only your brand, and that includes deoderant. fiance will start to smell more like you.
you said your dad gave you he cat, so the cat might be reluctant to let another man into the house as the cat might actually be afraid that the man will leave again. they hold on tho those things! it's weird, but so are cats.
fiance isn't trying to be mean he just doesn't yet have a cat mentality. the cat can pick up on that. don't give up on either of them yet. just be real loving to him and make the world outside of the hiding place seem much better than the hiding place. they will work it out together. you just have to train them.

[Savas]

Heh heh... yes, well, I suppose you could write "Dog" or "Cat" on the cat's side, but i don't think either of them will get the point.

Make your your fiancee understands that if he is going to make an effort, it's going to take months before he sees any progress. Cats are like touchy kids, once you get on their bad side it can take forever before they get over it.

Try pointing out that they probably share similar attitudes about life. Rather than go to war over dominance, it would be better to achieve detente.

Better yet, tell your fiancee that they are both misinformed. YOU are the dominant one in this household. Anything else is them indulging in fantasy!

[Canuckchick]

Your fiance might not be doing anything to him at all. My friends cat has absolutely hated me from the 1st second he saw me and I've never done a thing to that evil little so and so. As soon as he sees me he'll stare daggers at me and start to moan like a cat setting up to fight. He'll then stalk me and eventually run out and slap my legs. I've never had a cat react to me like that in my life. Most cats love me. To add insult to injury he also makes my allergies go haywire.

So...don't be too hard on your fiance. I think his best course of action would be to try and win your cats over. Have him feed your cat and give him treats. Have him play with him using something he can keep his distance with. If he's the source of food and fun your cat will eventually warm up to him.

[marissposa]

before nerve meds try a homeopathic route, like Dr.  Bach's rescue remedy.  Ask your fiance to be around less and retrain him to know how to be nice to kitties =^^=

[Kellyas4409]

LOL

That is too cute. Your right the cat only comes out when im home and he isnt. I have given up. We are about to move into a smaller apt so there is less hiding spaces and honestly I dont want to loose my cat. It was the last thing my dad gave me before he passed away. My fiance is really trying but im at my wits end. Plus my fiance is doing exactly what you did. Treat it like a dog.  I will talk to a vet about some nerve meds for my cat and see if that will calm him down. Or like you said fiance has got to go

Thanks for the laugh!

[Savas]

I hate to say it, but something your fiancee has done has scared the hell out of your cat.

This doesn't mean he's abusing kitty, at least deliberately, but unless you take kitty to a vet and find he's got some underlying condition causing behavioral changes...then someone has caused him to be afraid.

I would suggest making a choice between your cat and fiancee. your cat will never be happy at this rate, and it isn't fair to him to keep him in a household where he's so afraid.

Hey, I'm telling you this as a guy who was exactly in this situation 15 years ago. My wife had two cats, and I was a dog person. We did NOT like each other (cats, not wife. :) )

I tried to get along, but got frustrated and ended up treating them as I would a difficult dog, which is a HUGE mistake. Treating a cat like a dog, to a cat, is harsh and abusive. Totally different creatures here.

So I'm not saying your fiancee is a ******* not worthy of marrying, just that he may have to either learn to adjust to cats, as I did, or you have to put an ad in the paper reading;
_____________

"Wanted. home for Cat OR Fiancee.

Both are reasonably friendly when fed, petted and treated nicely, also moderately good providers.

Cat is fully litter box trained  -    fiancee needs some work; not yet fully housebroken.

First come first served. :)