Aa
HELP I am about to put my cat down TOMORROW from incontence
I can't stand this cat anymore. I am sorry. I am kind to him. I never yell, never hurt him, am endlessly patient. I am always calm and quiet with the cat. It is not his fault.
That is the disclaimer Please excuse my emotions as I write; as I write this I am *seething with rage and frustration*. I am sorry. I will do the best I can.
Situation in a nutshell:
--Cat is an adopted rescue, approx 19 yrs old
--I had him for seven years
--6 mo ago he was diagnosed with GI cancer
--Doc says he is not in pain except when he has BMs
--He has constant, nonstop, pure liquid diarrhea
--He has seen *four* different vets now; in three different cities; one from a cat-only specialty practice. All say the same thing: "It's untreatable this time. It's his cancer. There is nothing you can do."
--Of late he has lost all control of his bowels
--...which means for the last two months straight I have been living with a cat that takes constant, frequent, ever single hour *extremely pungent so i want to throw up* diarrhea sh*ts on my (unfortunately) wall to wall carpet in my (unfortunately) tiny one room studio apartment
I am literally living surrounded by piles of reeking catsh** and there is nothing I can do about it.
I have researched this intensely already. I have been in contact with three vets, one friend who is a retired vet, multiple family members who have had cats all their lives, online forum posts that others have made...please
==Please, kindly do not say==
--make sure his litter boxes are clean (I already know that; I clean them daily now)
--make sure he has enough litter boxes (I now have three boxes for one cat...he wants to use the boxes, I think, but he has no control over when he goes)
--make sure you aren't switching litter (yes, yes, yes, I know)
--make sure you aren't switching food (he is on special food for the GI cancer anyway; he was fine on it for months; this pooping issue is unrelated)
--make sure he has not become scared of the litter box through pavlovian associations (I know, I know, that's why I started adding extra boxes in new places...makes zero difference; he just cannot control it most of the time)
--make sure he does not have parasites, worms, infection, etc (he has been to numerous vets; he has a clean bill of health except the GI cancer, which all vets believe cause all his symptoms)
Do i lock him in a cage?? He just now took a *giant*, hand-span, wet s*** on my bed, which I cleaned, cleaned the mattress, which it had seeped into, and I had just put on clean sheets, made the bed, was getting ready to turn in and he SH*TS ON IT AGAIN!! I have no more sheets! I almost screamed I swear! My others are in the laundry! I am exhausted and I need to sleep; where am I going to sleep? There is still s*** on the couch from this morning that I didn't have time to clean before catching the train to work.
I am sorry. I really can't take this. It is my job to care for him, but I am at my wits end. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep up with the poop! I can smell the stench of oily, wet, reeking cat poop half way down the hall from my apartment. The neighbors must notice. It's hard to breathe in here.
Help.
Cage?
Euthanize?
Some kind of magic?
Pray that some saintly soul would take him?
help.
That is the disclaimer Please excuse my emotions as I write; as I write this I am *seething with rage and frustration*. I am sorry. I will do the best I can.
Situation in a nutshell:
--Cat is an adopted rescue, approx 19 yrs old
--I had him for seven years
--6 mo ago he was diagnosed with GI cancer
--Doc says he is not in pain except when he has BMs
--He has constant, nonstop, pure liquid diarrhea
--He has seen *four* different vets now; in three different cities; one from a cat-only specialty practice. All say the same thing: "It's untreatable this time. It's his cancer. There is nothing you can do."
--Of late he has lost all control of his bowels
--...which means for the last two months straight I have been living with a cat that takes constant, frequent, ever single hour *extremely pungent so i want to throw up* diarrhea sh*ts on my (unfortunately) wall to wall carpet in my (unfortunately) tiny one room studio apartment
I am literally living surrounded by piles of reeking catsh** and there is nothing I can do about it.
I have researched this intensely already. I have been in contact with three vets, one friend who is a retired vet, multiple family members who have had cats all their lives, online forum posts that others have made...please
==Please, kindly do not say==
--make sure his litter boxes are clean (I already know that; I clean them daily now)
--make sure he has enough litter boxes (I now have three boxes for one cat...he wants to use the boxes, I think, but he has no control over when he goes)
--make sure you aren't switching litter (yes, yes, yes, I know)
--make sure you aren't switching food (he is on special food for the GI cancer anyway; he was fine on it for months; this pooping issue is unrelated)
--make sure he has not become scared of the litter box through pavlovian associations (I know, I know, that's why I started adding extra boxes in new places...makes zero difference; he just cannot control it most of the time)
--make sure he does not have parasites, worms, infection, etc (he has been to numerous vets; he has a clean bill of health except the GI cancer, which all vets believe cause all his symptoms)
Do i lock him in a cage?? He just now took a *giant*, hand-span, wet s*** on my bed, which I cleaned, cleaned the mattress, which it had seeped into, and I had just put on clean sheets, made the bed, was getting ready to turn in and he SH*TS ON IT AGAIN!! I have no more sheets! I almost screamed I swear! My others are in the laundry! I am exhausted and I need to sleep; where am I going to sleep? There is still s*** on the couch from this morning that I didn't have time to clean before catching the train to work.
I am sorry. I really can't take this. It is my job to care for him, but I am at my wits end. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep up with the poop! I can smell the stench of oily, wet, reeking cat poop half way down the hall from my apartment. The neighbors must notice. It's hard to breathe in here.
Help.
Cage?
Euthanize?
Some kind of magic?
Pray that some saintly soul would take him?
help.
What is your kitty's name? I am going through something very similar with my 17 yr. old, TJ. He hasn't lost control yet but has had a few "accidents" in the laundry room. I have been spending so much time with him because I know the end is not far off. Just can't bear to see him go. I appreciate what Opus wrote...it is so true, but I just can't give him up yet, either. I just wanted you to know how much I feel for you and what you are going through. Bless you for being there for him all these years. I've had TJ since he was born. It's hard to imagine life without him.
Im very happy in reading you found an alternative.As Pip said, a cat cat live fine in a small place , since s/he has all need there and attention
Two of mines live almost only in a bathroom, and they are young and healthy cats, very active( well, not much these last weeks since is very hot here in Brazil)
Two of mines live almost only in a bathroom, and they are young and healthy cats, very active( well, not much these last weeks since is very hot here in Brazil)
Hi Steven,
Was so very happy to hear you were not giving up on your kit. You are a good man to have found an alternative. How is it working out for you and the kit???
Please let us know--we are fully invested in your story. We have all been there, so please keep us posted
Thanks,
CML
Was so very happy to hear you were not giving up on your kit. You are a good man to have found an alternative. How is it working out for you and the kit???
Please let us know--we are fully invested in your story. We have all been there, so please keep us posted
Thanks,
CML
You are a good man for looking to an alternative for a cat who is otherwise fine as the situation turns out. I know from experience that kitties will adjust to a smaller range, especially when you spend time with them.
As to the tone of your original post, I could read into it that you have deep feelings for this cat and were/are frustrated you can not make him better from this.
We felt that with Miss Kessie, Gods' Bless and Good Luck.
As to the tone of your original post, I could read into it that you have deep feelings for this cat and were/are frustrated you can not make him better from this.
We felt that with Miss Kessie, Gods' Bless and Good Luck.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there :) I am much happier tonight reading your current post. I didn't respond last night because I was in tears reading how angry you were. I feel relieved you've come up with a plan to both cope with, and help your boy. Thank you so much for this wonderful update!
I, too, take care of an older kitty who has many issues. Not to the extent you are dealing with, but I do understand how stressful it all can be.
We are here to support you; please let us know if we can be of any future help.
(((Hugs)))
I, too, take care of an older kitty who has many issues. Not to the extent you are dealing with, but I do understand how stressful it all can be.
We are here to support you; please let us know if we can be of any future help.
(((Hugs)))
Thank you kindly, Pip, and all of you. I apologize for the tone of the original post. I sound like a 15-yr old on steroids. I am deeply sorry you had to read that.
Your words are all very touching. Don't tell anyone I cried a little when I read that quote that Opus posted; I'll lose all my macho cred. j/k
I have a tile floor bathroom. Last night, I made the decision to set him up in there, just as a trial, to see how it would go. Yes, I assumed that he would be miserable confined to the bathroom, but do I know that? Can I be sure? Euthanasia is terribly final, and while I feel fortunate that we have that as a humane option for our pets, I really don't think he wants to go yet.
I have so far put down (or have been with family who have put down shared pets) three times. It was always extremely sad, but when the time came, it was known. I am not unconcerned that I will have a caretaker's bias and determine he is fine when he is not, so I have consulted some others who are current or previous pet owners to tell me what they think. It is agreed by everyone that he seems alert, happy, and is doing well aside from the obvious.
I will spend time with him daily. I am looking into getting a comfortable foam floor seat in there so I can work on my computer and be by him.
Thank you all, again, so much.
Your words are all very touching. Don't tell anyone I cried a little when I read that quote that Opus posted; I'll lose all my macho cred. j/k
I have a tile floor bathroom. Last night, I made the decision to set him up in there, just as a trial, to see how it would go. Yes, I assumed that he would be miserable confined to the bathroom, but do I know that? Can I be sure? Euthanasia is terribly final, and while I feel fortunate that we have that as a humane option for our pets, I really don't think he wants to go yet.
I have so far put down (or have been with family who have put down shared pets) three times. It was always extremely sad, but when the time came, it was known. I am not unconcerned that I will have a caretaker's bias and determine he is fine when he is not, so I have consulted some others who are current or previous pet owners to tell me what they think. It is agreed by everyone that he seems alert, happy, and is doing well aside from the obvious.
I will spend time with him daily. I am looking into getting a comfortable foam floor seat in there so I can work on my computer and be by him.
Thank you all, again, so much.
OMG!!!!!! Now I am crying my eyes out, thank you very much!!!!
I will be thinking about this all day long. I am such a wuss! This kind of writing is so bittersweet.
That was a beautiful post , Opus. I am the worst when it comes to profound poignancy..........BOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO for me. Yikes what a WUSS.
My sincere sympathy to Steven for having to say good-bye to a dear friend, I am crying for you too!!!!
CML
I will be thinking about this all day long. I am such a wuss! This kind of writing is so bittersweet.
That was a beautiful post , Opus. I am the worst when it comes to profound poignancy..........BOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO for me. Yikes what a WUSS.
My sincere sympathy to Steven for having to say good-bye to a dear friend, I am crying for you too!!!!
CML
Pip our dearest pet papa has given you some very wise words....it is indeed time to say goodbye, the hardest thing we ever have to do as a responsible pet parent is to know when they've had enough.
you've gone over and above what many would do and kudo's to you for that...19 is an exceedingly long life for most kitties, so it shows how well you looked after him and loved him. He is no longer enjoying his life, he is in pain...no matter what the Vets say.
I will copy out something I posted awhile back, it will make you cry as it does me whenever I read it, but it also holds some comfort to help us understand when its time.
many hugs go out to you both, I know you will have a hard night but will wake with certainty in your decision. God bless
Quote:
Do you think the time has come? May I say good-bye to pain-filled days and endless nights?
I've lived my life and done my best, an exampled tried to be.
So can't I take that step beyond and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light.
I want to go, I really do. Its difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me and share your love and tears.
I know you're sad and so afraid, because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know that my spirit will be close to you, wherever you may go.
Thank you for loving me.
You know I love you too.
Thats why its hard to say good-bye and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time and let me hear you say, because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.
-Susan A. Jackson
you've gone over and above what many would do and kudo's to you for that...19 is an exceedingly long life for most kitties, so it shows how well you looked after him and loved him. He is no longer enjoying his life, he is in pain...no matter what the Vets say.
I will copy out something I posted awhile back, it will make you cry as it does me whenever I read it, but it also holds some comfort to help us understand when its time.
many hugs go out to you both, I know you will have a hard night but will wake with certainty in your decision. God bless
Quote:
Do you think the time has come? May I say good-bye to pain-filled days and endless nights?
I've lived my life and done my best, an exampled tried to be.
So can't I take that step beyond and set my spirit free?
I didn't want to go at first, I fought with all my might.
But something seems to draw me now to a warm and loving light.
I want to go, I really do. Its difficult to stay.
But I will try as best I can to live just one more day.
To give you time to care for me and share your love and tears.
I know you're sad and so afraid, because I see your tears.
I'll not be far, I promise that, and hope you'll always know that my spirit will be close to you, wherever you may go.
Thank you for loving me.
You know I love you too.
Thats why its hard to say good-bye and end this life with you.
So hold me now, just one more time and let me hear you say, because you care so much for me, you'll let me go today.
-Susan A. Jackson
You have the patience of any 10 other people combined and have done your best to care for your cat. That you took in a senior cat and gave him a chance at more years of companionship and love, bravo sir, bravo.
It IS the hardest decision we have to make, taking the path to realizing it is time to let a little friend go into that Long Good Night. It is an act of love.
From your description, I think it is time.
19 is an exceedingly good run at life.
We had to make this decision at the beginning of June 2012 for our sweet Miss Silver Kestrel. If Kessie had been human, she would have been a surfer girl stoner, I'm sure.
She had intestinal lymphoma, which we treated with the able assistance of our vet the best we could. We kept her as comfortable as possible until that day came when it was obvious it was time to let go.
She was only 12 years 2 months, and it still brings tears up every time we find something that reminds us of her.
I hope my words are of some use.
Best wishes - Pip
It IS the hardest decision we have to make, taking the path to realizing it is time to let a little friend go into that Long Good Night. It is an act of love.
From your description, I think it is time.
19 is an exceedingly good run at life.
We had to make this decision at the beginning of June 2012 for our sweet Miss Silver Kestrel. If Kessie had been human, she would have been a surfer girl stoner, I'm sure.
She had intestinal lymphoma, which we treated with the able assistance of our vet the best we could. We kept her as comfortable as possible until that day came when it was obvious it was time to let go.
She was only 12 years 2 months, and it still brings tears up every time we find something that reminds us of her.
I hope my words are of some use.
Best wishes - Pip
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