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152660 tn?1291755571

Loss of Kitty

I had to have Lucy put to sleep yesterday.  :(  She'd gotten steadily worse and had started to refuse to eat.  I took her in to the emergency vet yesterday because I wasn't sure she was going to make it until Tuesday for her cleaning appointment.  She had a tumor on her liver/bile duct/pancreas area.  It was cancer.  It makes me SO angry that the original vet didn't feel around her tummy area when she saw her condition and just went with hyperthyroid.  I don't understand how one vet (her) and another (the emergency vet- university vet school) could read totally different things into the same blood results?  Lucy suffered an extra 10 days because of the original vet not thinking her blood work was bad and feeling around.  

How do I deal with the guilt of not noticing how bad she had gotten because I was paying so much attention to the new puppy?  
9 Responses
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7052683 tn?1392938795
Hi Ali,

Do you know how many of us did not realize how much pain our babies were in from one thing or another. We are all in the same boat . Yes it hurts to think back on all the kits we may have been able to help sooner had we known..

This is why this forum is so wonderful ....if our experiences an new information can help the next kit from pain , than we have done a GOOD THING.

Now you can pay it forward to with this new knowledge.
We are ALL quilty of missing something in our little angels. They are built to cover up their pain for their own preservation, unfortunately they have become a little TOO good at this.

No guilt for you, you were a wonderful attentive mom, and Lucy knew you loved her, so THERE!

Best to you,
CML
Helpful - 0
152660 tn?1291755571
OMG!!!  After reading Darthkitty and Henry's story and that FORLS and Cervical Neck lesions are the same thing, I realized that Cervical neck lesions is what the vet put on lucy's "report card" when we set up the teeth cleaning!  I can't imagine the pain she was in. The new vet- the university- didn't have any clue what she meant by that.  No wonder Lucy had lost so much weight and the original vet didn't go further than that and the HyperT tests.  She must have been in SO much pain and I didn't do anything about it sooner.  :(  
Helpful - 0
740516 tn?1360942486
My feelings,Ali
RIP, dear Lucy!!!
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587315 tn?1333552783
I am so sorry for your loss of Lucy. Sending hugs!
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7052683 tn?1392938795
Oh Ali,  how very sorry I am to hear this sad news. Pip, Opus, and Jade have so eloquently said what is in my heart also.

Forgive yourself, after all we are ONLY human, we are not perfect and will always make mistakes . Sometimes we keep our loved ones longer than we should out of fear of losing them in our lives, and that is so very human.

Lucy knows you loved her and always did the right thing for her. Be kind to yourself . It was just her time, and this was how she was supposed to leave you--I am sure it was written before she was born. Set your heart free to be with Lucy!!!!

My Sincerest sorrow for your loss of Precious Lucy
CML
Helpful - 0
874521 tn?1424116797
Oh Ali I am so sorry to read this...the loss of our dear little companions hurt us so deeply, our babies. I am so tired I can barely see the screen, so tonight I'll just say is I echo all that Jade and Pip have already said, we are only human and so are most Vets(most) things get missed or overlooked all the time, it's just unfortunate when it causes a life or added pain, it's not your fault honey...you did all you could for little Lucy out of love, hold her and the good memories close to your heart. RIP Lucy
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242912 tn?1660619837
COMMUNITY LEADER
Heartfelt Hugs to you, honey.  I'm sorry, I got carried away and hit send before I was done.  
Helpful - 0
242912 tn?1660619837
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi Ali, I am so very sorry to read this.  You know, we love our kitties SO much, we often cannot see what is right in front of our eyes.  I think you were comforted by the original vets (inaccurate) opinion, and that freed you up to feel you could pay more attention to the puppy.  You were just a few days away from the cleaning that was scheduled due to the obvious misreading of her blood results.  We believe what our vets tell us.  

We had to put Jade down last year.  Right up 'til the very end, I wasn't seeing how truly ill she looked.  I wanted to believe we could start her on meds for HyperT with the hope it would turn things around.  What I was forgetting in the moment, was her IBD would never allow her to tolerate the meds.  It took me comparing pics of her after she passed to Really see how bad she looked.  When we see our kitties day to day, it's hard to notice differences.  

It is just so unthinkable not to have our babies with us anymore, we don't want to believe what our eyes and mind KNOW to be true, just our heart cannot take it.  This was not your fault, Ali.  Please don't do that to yourself.  Lucy is at the Bridge now with all the other MedHelp kitties.  She is free from pain now.  And with the MH kitties sat all all the kitties you've had before her all lined up welcoming her to her new, beautiful life.  

RIP Lucy.  
Helpful - 0
506791 tn?1439842983
A friend of mine is dealing with a similar situation...I wrote him some words that he responded, "Helped."

Sometimes, the enemy is implacable and no matter what we do, it isn't enough; cry, rage, wonder...but, no guilt.

We went that same route when we lost Kestrel and her sister Hildiekatt to lymphoma, and over Chesapeake when she passed suddenly from heart failure...that feeling that we had failed them.  We came to see that there was nothing more to do, that these conditions, when we could see the signs, were beyond repair.

All medicine is an art, informed by science, whether for humans or our beloved little companions.  Different artists see different things in the same inspiration (hence different diagnosis).

Hold on to the memories of the Life you gave Lucy, and not on the ending.

Take care, Pip, whose mom calls him Steven
Helpful - 0
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