being mad at myself

[braveheart1978]

hi there 2 days ago i lost my cat of 15 yrs and my heart is broken, im finding myself being angry that i didnt put him down.....see in 07 he got that bad cat food and his kidneys where failing I oppted 2 put him on the ivy at home every day, or put him 2 sleep and i just couldnt do that( he at the time wasnt showing any signs of being sick....i was just watching the news and seen that his brand of food was bad so i took him 2 be checked along with my other cat they both had bad kidneys from the food.)so i gave him and his sister a poke in the back every day for about a yr then they seemed 2 be better and the vet wouldnt give me any more ivys untill i had there blood tested again, the cost for that was 300 bucks(for what just 2 be told they have bad kidneys) i had one bag i would use for (must use) use only and still at this time my cat was fine just drinking alot and some runs......but ate, played, purred...(.no throwing up or being unable 2 move around like the classic signs of bad kidneys) then about a yr ago he started getting skinny so i said 2 myself when he is not drinking eating and playing i will put him down, well lill did i know he was going 2 do all that in 48 hrs on the weekend....i called every vet and they wanted 2 much i do not work due 2 heart problems so i had only anout 100 bucks and they wanted like 200 ...so i had 2 watch him get worse by the hr ....by sun he couldnt even walk or cry i told him 2 try 2 hold on till the morning when i could take him 2 be put down well he did but we got a 1/2 mile from the vet and he started kicking then let out some very bad crys and died in my arms all in seconds , now im sick with those crys and the fact is i let him suffer , i wanna think i didnt but i feel so bad has this happen 2 any one , you know with not make'n it 2 the vet or just not being able 2 put yer pet down then its 2 late?? i just wanna no im not alone and that my lill guy is ok tyvm

[Kaydey]

Bless you for taking such good care of you kitty.  Please know that many of us know exactly what you are going through.

As others have said, it is not your fault.  You did the best you could with the keeping him healthy after he was poisoned.  

It is obvious you loved him very much, and didn't want him to suffer.

Trust us, he has gone over the Rainbow and is jumping and playing just like baby kit. He will always be with you, in your heart.

Blessings to you...I will keep you my thoughts.

[bootsiebartleo]

It will just take time to get past the guilt and loss.  No, you aren't at fault at all!  You always did what you thought was right by your pet. I adopted a kitten once, and within two days it suddenly became ill, and didn't know how to eat, drink, and acted..well for lack of a better word, "retarded".  It was awful! The kitten started having diarrhea too.  I took it to the vet right away, and was given a dropper and some supplement to give him by mouth. The kitten wasted away to nothing within 24 hours or so.  Breathed it's last breath and died.  I was so devastated!  I still think about the kitty from time to time, but I don't get really upset about it anymore. I fell like I should have taken it for a second opinion at a different vet, but I didn't. With some time, it did get better ( being all torn up about it I mean.)  Your cat had a GREAT little cat life with you.  Lot's of love, care, and good companionship.  It was a lucky animal. Sometime things just happen to our pets, and it's hard to accept.  Hang in there!    bootsiebartleo

[LindaTX]

I am so very sorry about your loss.  Its been over 10 yrs ago, but seems like only yesterday, that my beloved  Big Tom died in my arms at 17.  I also was on my way to the vets office to have him put down. He didn't seem to be in any pain, just very listless and about 3 mi from the vet's office, he took a couple of deep breaths and was gone.  In a way, it was a blessing because I was with him to the very end and didn't have to watch him being "put down."  It's small consolation, but at least you have that.

[bmused]

Your kitty was with someone who loved him, all the way across the bridge. YOU were there for him and with him as far as you could go and that is all that matters, really. We do the best we can with what resources that we have...
I hope that you will find comfort and quit being so hard on yourself. Its clear from your post that you loved honored and cherished your boy very much and that is what is most important in the end. We do the best we know how with what we have to work with.
May the Peace that passeth all understanding settle in your heart tonight. I believe your sweetie is safely arrived in a kinder world and would hate for you to be in pain.

[Chrissy1972]

Im so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you.
Dont beat yourself up. These food companies are to blame not you!

best wishes

[PrettyKitty1]

I’m so sorry for your loss. This upsets me in ways you cannot imagine. It is disturbing, and frustrating, and it makes me so, so mad that the food industry is still causing problems to our beloved pets. I heard about that food recall. Many, many pets, like your kitty, got compromised.  Thousands died!  It’s heart breaking.  You should sue that company! They are the ones responsible for the death of your cat. Ugh…I could go on and on. What brand of food was that?

I’m sorry you went through this. Please don’t blame yourself. You did what you could for him. Try to find closure in knowing you were a good mom to him, and he is not suffering anymore. He is in a better place. Please don’t blame yourself. I mean what can we do when the ones who can help us are not willing to do so because we lack the money. It’s sad.

I have never had this happen to me, but my heart goes out to you. If this was happening to me I’d make sure people knew what happened. Someone has to pay for this. It isn’t fair.

Good luck