more venus antics....

well....i'm not sure if i'm liking the bigger house with venus....yeah i'm definitely not liking the bigger house with venus. she is absolutely HORRID!!! instead of having ONE room to hide in to jump out and scare the pee out of me she has....5. yes 5...7 if you count the kids room and play room (there are crevices she can hide in in the kids room and play room, 3 other bedrooms and 2 bathrooms) so no matter where i go i'm being attacked. it's getting to the point that i don't turn a corner without peeking my head around it first to see if i can see her...what's bad is she still manages to scare me. take this morning for instance. kids woke up super early so i was going up to the 3rd floor to do diapers and bottles...did i see venus sitting on the super 1/2 inch wide ledge on the side of the stairs right above MY HEAD???? nope. of course not. what did i get? a venus hat. what happened to me....i fell down the stairs, taking said bad cat with me, got yelled at by said bad cat and she took off running around the house like a bat out of h3ll. so this afternoon i'm heating up spaghettio's for the kids to eat for lunch....did i bother checking the cupboards for the fat, bad cat? no....where was she? sitting on the top shelf. (i still don't know how she got up there since there are NO counters below these specific cupboards) what did i get? a fat, bad cat hat....again. what happened to said fat, bad cat? well she ran upstairs to mine and gregs bedrooms, squeezed her big butt under the bed and wouldn't move when i came running up after her. she's lucky i couldn't grab her or i just may have made kitty kabobs for dinner. greg...just laughed at me. sooooo this evening i'm getting a shower apparently i needed help because the next thing i know i hear the door creak open, then MMMRRROOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWw and in comes venus. i think she meant to land on the side of the tub but she missed and landed IN the shower with me. she spent 45 minutes cleaning herself and I am still getting death stares from her.

[Thomas Dock, CVJ, Vet. Technician]

LOL!  OMG Heather...your post made me laugh for a good 5 minutes.  I am sorry because I know you are frustrated with Venus right now, but your descriptions are absolutely hilarious!!

Venus sounds like she would be a good candidate for the behaviorists over in the expert Ask a Vet section Behavior forum.   Stop by there and see what they have to say about your little monster!!

Good luck!!

[heatherlynn22]

she is just something else. her fuzzy but is so lucky i love her to pieces. she's always been like that. i'm not sure what i'd do if she wasn't like that now though. i'm so used to her....being a little psycho that the house would be dull without it.

this morning i woke up to her big yellow eyes in face. talk about freaky. she's actually been good today. so far no attacks but it is still early....

i really do think i'm going to write a book about her.

[dominosarah]

I think i have the other sibling to Venus!!! LOL

[heatherlynn22]

i have officially started the book on venus!

[April2]

LOL, I agree with Sarah! I think Sakura might be Venus's twin! Ha ha! I can so relate. :)

[heatherlynn22]

i'm actually having an easy day today. she hasn't tormented me yet. i think she's sleeping now. (thank god for small miracles! lol)

[PrettyKitty1]

Heather,

What a funny kitty you have. I am also laughing here. Reading Venus' stories really makes my moments better.

Does she actually bite you when she "attacks" you or is it just jumping and acting like she is stalking you as her favorite "prey"?

One thing I can tell, is that your cat has so, so much energy!!

[heatherlynn22]

she bites. it's not hard but she does.....

[FurballsMom]

You definitely have to write a book about this crazy cat!  Your descriptions about Venus sound like some stories my friend tells about her male tuxedo cat she had when her son was just a kid.  She has had some wild ones.  One of the best stories is the one I already mentioned about the cat destroying that potted plant.  If you heard some of her stories you would being rolling on the floor laughing, just like you must do with Venus.

[heatherlynn22]

well i'm already on chapter 2 of venus...and only at month 4 of her life. lol. with how much she does this is going to be 20000000 page book...i swear. lol. and it's something new just about everyday.

lol i'll have to make sure i send all you guys a copy once it's published because...well who can resist a good venus story? it'll make those with semi naughty cats appreciate them more. lol

[heatherlynn22]

oh which reminds me....her new thing today. *sigh* we got home from grocery shopping and were taking the boys up to their room to nap. our banister at the top of the 2nd floor has space at the bottom for her to squeeze her big head out of so she does. as i'm walking up the steps i didn't see her...she smacks me on the head. i nearly peed myself and almost dropped eli. poor kid did pee himself. lol. cat scared the living bejesus out of us. so i look at her with my "mean" mommy look and you just see big fluffy tail and her enormous furry bum run into mine and gregs bedroom. lol.

[aligator79]

Holy Cow- She's only 4 months old?? I would have thought at the extent of her antics and stories you have written she was much older.  She "may" grow out of it after that kitten stage- with her- probably not. :)

[heatherlynn22]

no no no...she's 1 1/2 years old (sniff sniff my baby is growing up!!!)...i'm only up to 4 months old in the book.

[aligator79]

ahhh-  maybe she will settle down as she gets older- not likely though. :)  Mine have changed so much as they get older- Taz now meows occasionally, is a cuddlebug and an instigator with his older brother.  Gotta love em.  They change just like people.

[heatherlynn22]

venus has been changing...she's been getting worse. lol. it's like she just has this bad streak in her.

[April2]

Has she been fixed yet? That usually helps calm them down, at least a little! :)

[dominosarah]

I have to disagree on the fixing thing April!!  I think it only made this one here worse!!!  I think everytime he is cleaning himself he realizes he is missing parts!! LOL

[heatherlynn22]

she's fixed. she was spayed when she was 5 1/2 months old. actually after she recovered from that is about when she went all psycho kitty on us.

[April2]

Wow, that's interesting! She sure is a one of a kind kitty, huh! I think it did help calm Sakura down a little. Of course she got fat too! But she still acts like a little snot, knocking over every dang cup in the house she can find and knocking stuff off the kitchen counters, batting them around till they get lost. I'm still trying to find my nail file and thermometer. I think she knocked them off the counter and did something with them!

[heatherlynn22]

oh venus got fat. she is now my big fuzzy fat cat. and the cup thing DRIVES ME CRAZY!!! i usually have a glass of water on my nightstand at night...i'll hear lick lick lick in the middle of the night. i wake up and look and fat cat is drinking MY water! she is so lazy she won't walk downstairs to her bowl to drink her water....she drinks mine.

[April2]

Oh Yeah! I hear ya! Mine does that too! She seems to think she can walk all over my counters and lay her fat butt down and look at me like she's a queen and I'm like "Oh no you don't!" and plop her back down. She knows I don't like her on the counters but she does it anyway. My other cat is a little lady, nothing like her! She, at least, listens to me!

[heatherlynn22]

oh venus does everything she isn't supposed to. laying on counters, tables...everywhere. her new thing is to lay on the computer desk with her big but sticking up in front of the screen and smacking the key board with her paws. drives me nuts.

[April2]

Yeah, lol, Sakura likes to lay on top of the monitor because it's warm. Smart cat! Of course, it drives my husband crazy! He's like "She'll get her hair inside the monitor and mess it up!" I try to keep her off but as soon as I'm on the computer, up she goes!

[April2]

Does your cat do this? This drives me crazy! Sakura will LICK any glass or window. I'm not kidding! It drives me nuts! I constantly have smeared windows and glass all over the house! Crazy cat.

[heatherlynn22]

the desktop monitor is a flat screen so we don't have that issue. she likes being in front of it so you have to look at her and NOT the computer. (she's a very vain kitty...see even stares at herself in mirrors)

she hasn't licked the windows.....she does scratch the screens in them though. she has a real thing for screens. why would people choose dogs over cats when they can have such interesting kitties???? i can't wait to see how she handles having a puppy in the house. lol

[April2]

Hey, that might be a good thing! It will keep her occupied, for sure! When I brought home 2 puppies my oldest cat was not pleased and stays away from them. Sakura surprised us all by being interested in them, and she's unafraid. She even acts a little maternal, believe it or not! The only thing she doesn't like is when they jump all over her and get too rambunctious. Then she either leaves or puts them in a choke hold for a few seconds and gently bites. But I'm amazed at how gentle she is. She's never hurt them. She does show them who's boss a lot but is actually quite good with them!
We'll hope for the best with your kitty too. I can't wait to see how that works out with you! Maybe she'll quit bugging you, then, and play with the puppy more. That would be nice, wouldn't it! :)

[HelpinUtah]

OMG!!!!!  I read through all this and you guys are cracking me up!  LOL!!!!  

[heatherlynn22]

my mom has this dog...his name is lucky...and she has this cat (she is venus's little sister so the kittens are her niece and nephew) well lucky LOVES the kittens mom (leave it to a cat in venus family to have a dog as a boyfriend.....) and sheila loves him...they are INSEPARABLE (the other dog, chester, does NOT approve of this relationship AT ALL!!!!) well lucky has taken it upon himself to be the kittens surrogate daddy. yes.....he acts like a daddy to these kittens. he herds them around, snuggles with them, sleeps with them, watches them and cleans them. they are an odd but very loving family. it got so bad my mom didn't have the heart to give the kittens away. so now she has 2 dogs and 3 cats. lol.

[dominosarah]

April, check behind furniture for your nail file.  Snickers has "snack bars" all thru the house.  He stores all his moths and flies he doesnt eat there along with anything else that isnt tied down!!!  He is a window licker too.  Never did understand the connection with that.  When the beagle is hungry she will chase after him and stick her nose in his butt.....he hates that.  Anything he does to her is fine but when the tables are turned then he gets mad and all he!! breaks loose.  He is a one cat wrecking crane!!!  Right now he has all 4 feet in the water bowl and is making a huge mess.  He also has a thing for my bras, must be a guy thing!!!  You cant make a bed either without that big toad under the sheets, on his back with his big ole flippers in the air.  Around here whats mine is his and whats his is his.

[heatherlynn22]

lol @ him IN the water bowl.

venus is the same way when i'm making the beds. drives me nuts!!! so i just make the bed and leave her under. venus is a bra/pantie/boxer sniffer to. i'll find my undies and bras all over the house. it's very embarassing when company comes over and when they sit down they end up pulling out a pair of your undies. cats. lol.

[April2]

My cat, Misha, takes all my husband's rolled up socks out and walks around the house with them meowing. We think she thinks they're her kittens or something. Anyway, she's moved on to whatever she can find now, which includes my leg warmers (a little harder for her to carry!), socks, underwear, anything she can reach. Unfortunately, we have underdrawers in our bed so she's able to get in there and pull stuff out. We're constantly walking around the house finding balled up socks everywhere! Crazy cats, lol.

[heatherlynn22]

mine snatches them out of the laundry basket. i hate finding my bras everywhere. the weirdest place i've ever found my bra/panties is in the kitchen sink.

[heatherlynn22]

i wish venus would make up her mind on whether she hates me or loves me. she's worse than a teenage girl and her bf's. one day she's attacking me and biting me the next day she's rubbing on me, climbing on my lap, nuzzling me and being my little lovey dovey.

can cats be bipolar?

[swampcritter]

This discussion causes Swampy to miss Mooch. Mooch would hide somewhere on the dock and as Swampy would walk down the pier...MEEEEEOWWWW! Out would jump Mooch.

[heatherlynn22]

lol swamp....isn't it just too funny when they decide we make better play toys than humans.

i have a few kitties i miss dearly when venus starts up. she's crazier than all my others were but...*sigh* i just miss them!

i used to have this cat named boston. prior to being spayed she was this tiny, hyper active, outgoing kitten. afterward she was this ENORMOUSLY fat cat who was scared of her own shadow. she would try to squeeze her big but under my moms couch and was only able to get under my a quarter of the way (apparently that was enough to make her invisible) her brother, bubba, would then pounce on her bum and yeah it was a riot. my brother, this is going to sound really crazy, farted in the living room near her once, no lie she jumped 3 feet in the air and took off running around the house for 20 minutes.

[aligator79]

Lucy was passed out on my fathers lap a couple of weeks ago and it started to storm.  All of a sudden there was a HUGE clap of thunder.  I'm not sure who jumped more- the cat or my father. :) It was hysterical.  

Lucy was also the one who had gas when she was little.  My mom thought I was nuts when I told her that it was the cat.  Mom came home one day and was in the room with her and it smelled so horrible that mom thought she went poo somewhere in the room.  She looked and looked and didn't find anything.  So when it got worse she realized it was the cat.  Itty-bitty little 3 pound cat was worse than most people.  We finally figured out it was a beef flavored canned food.  It's been banned from the house since then.  EWWW

[heatherlynn22]

lol aligator....that is hilarious!!! my mom had this cat daisy when i was younger. she was a pretty short haired grey cat (now that i think about it through out my life 98% of my cats have been grey...weird huh) that was just BEAUTIFUL! well one day we're sitting around the living room watching tv when all of a sudden we hear "PPPPFFFFTTTTTT" this really super LOUD fart. i looked up and looked around as did everyone else. we looked at daisy who was sleeping on the chair with her bum in the air opened one eye (i swear she smiled this contented HAHA smile) and went back to sleep. it stunk SOOOO bad. i mean we had to open all the windows bad. worse than a grown man. lol.

cats.

[April2]

Is Venus a gray Tabby? My goodness, Sakura is a gray Tabby! Maybe it's the breed!!!

[heatherlynn22]

no she's a grey/black/tan main coon.

[heatherlynn22]

mainly grey.

[April2]

Ah, main coons are characters too, I've heard!

[heatherlynn22]

i thought all the stories i'd read weren't true....but alas they are.

[FurballsMom]

This thread is a riot!  LOL!

[heatherlynn22]

i had this other cat when i was in high school, smokey, the craziest, MEANEST cat in the world. we never needed to get a dog when we had her (we had her for damn near 15 years when she went on to kitty heaven). she would meow/bark at the door when someone was there and if ANYONE walked through the door she did not know they were pounced. scared my uncle so bad he actually fell off our door step and off the porch. he stood up and was like "what the h3ll was that?!?!?!" we just laughed. of course smokey had her fur up on end and she was hoping up and down the porch spitting at him.

[heatherlynn22]

venus....is absolutely ridiculous! last night i'm laying in bed almost asleep...finally. you know that little snot walks up to me (silly me thought she was going to nuzzle and love me) and smacks me in the forehead and bites my nose. she then proceeds to bunny kick me in the cheek and just flat out beat me up!!!!

my cat is possessed by the devil. *sigh*

[FurballsMom]

If I want a good laugh, all I have to do is read stories about Venus.  LOL!

[heatherlynn22]

well last night i was laying in bed writing and revising one of my books when she started to nuzzle me. rubbing against my arm, headbutting me, giving me actual love bites....but this morning. what do i get? bit, scratched and attacked. this cat changes her moods more often than i change my underwear!!! lol.

[aligator79]

Venus can come spend a week with me.  You could pass her around to everyone here and we could share in the insanity.  I might trade Taz for a few days.  

[heatherlynn22]

lol does he have one mood? no random changes from loving, sweet kitty to psychotic kitty? I accidentally interrupted her sleeping this afternoon (that is always a big no no) and oh did i get it!

[aligator79]

Hmmm- Tazzy is a goofball.  He is 7 yrs old and generally very mellow.  He has started to meow on occasion- not often though.  He loves to sit like a human and lay in funky contortions to sleep.  He has never clawed me intentionally- only drew blood once when he spooked.  He's recently become a lap kitty and gets irked when I am not home when he thinks I should be.  He tends to pout when he doesn't get his way. LOL

[heatherlynn22]

lol i love pouty kitties. so cute!!!! and when they sit like little people...OMG hilarious! i saw this picture of a kitty who was sitting on a couch like a little man beer bottle on one side and remote on the other side with his paw on it (obviously staged). it just cracked me up.

[aligator79]

There is a picture of him in a desk chair almost in his people position glaring at me while I take the picture.  I added some others.  I can't live without my kitties.

[heatherlynn22]

is he the black and white tuxedo on the beige couche? that is HILARIOUS!!! he's a gorgeous baby! i just want to cuddles him!

if you hadn't seen i've got tons of my venus up. i have new ones to post of her and her brothers...i'll have to get that done soon.

[aligator79]

Yep- That's my Taz-man.  He is such a baby- he was pouting- sitting with his back to me and looking back occasionally, because I didn't give him his attention as soon as I walked in from work.  As soon as I sat on the floor and cuddled for a few minutes, he was fine.  What a nut.

[heatherlynn22]

hahaha sounds like a big kid who was mad at mommy and throwing a tantrum. lol.

he's so flippin adorable. i've always loved tuxedo cats. they look so prim and proper even when they don't try to be. : o)

[aligator79]

He so looks prim and proper.  He even has the little tie down his chest with the little indention that looks like the knot.  He's always dressed up and doesn't have anywhere to go.

[heatherlynn22]

lol that is SO CUTE! lol i love that. all dressed up with no where to go. hold a kitty ball. dress up the other cats and have a kitty ball.

[heatherlynn22]

ok so i had to post this. i'm writing more of my book right now ( i tend to think better late at night...i'm exhausted during the day but the book is getting done) and my dear venus (who has food and clean, cold water in her dish downstairs) decided she was thirsty. i always have a glass of water on my nightstand for myself...which may stop now...so what does venus do??? instead of walking her lazy but downstairs she walks to MY nightstand sticks her head in MY glass and drinks ALL of MY water!!!!! i'm starting to wonder how long this has been going on.

OH GOD WHAT IF I'VE BEEN DRINKING AFTER THE CAT???? that is so incredibly disgusting.

and now the snot just curled up at the end of the bed on MY side, licked her lips (i hope she liked my water) and went to sleep (after farting. nasty.)

*sigh* now i have to go get new water.

[FurballsMom]

My Siamese used to do the same thing if I had a glass of water for myself anywhere at all.  She would walk right up and invite herself to MY glass of water.  I soon learned not to have a glass of water sitting around anywhere at all.  But, I only had a small apartment to worry about.  Venus is sure a little "character"!  LOL.

[April2]

Both of my cats do the same thing, drink out of our glasses of water. I too like to bring water to bed but I've had to resort to using a cup with a lid and spout so that they can't stick their heads in my cup. *Sigh* the things we put up with.