upper right quadrant pain

I have had upper right quadrant pain for 2 years now, started after a big meal and 2 glasses of wine.  Have had many tests, Hyda Scan 94 % functional with horrible pain.  Mass General Hospital found sludge on ultra sound.  this past year  Nov. 2008 had another Hyda Scan now 50% functional with horrible pain.  When I swallow my food feels like it is falling on an open wound.  Like putting salt on an open wound.  Very painful, then proceeds to go around right side to front.  Also have pain in middle of back, like at end of esophagus and goes to left of back, but not around to front and goes to the right and around to front.  Had scope to look down, but was left with indescribeable pain up back between shoulder blades, gnawing, burning, infectious like, swollen, it lasted 6 months and I had 3 months out of work.  It was like the scope irritated something, and the right upper quadrant pain got worse from there also.  Now 1 year later the back pain is not so bad but the urq pain is bad.  Sometime I wake up in the night with a strong dull, gnawing, cramping pain from back on right side to front where diaphram splits in front.   I have it right now.  I had a piece of chocolate and the sharp raw pain shot up to the right should blade along the spine bone and then went around to right side to front and it is very bad now.  My doctor wanted to do a colonoscopy,  I have had blood come out once a lot.   And last year October 2008 purple blood clots came out with my bowel movement.   Big ones!!  All over the stool with bright red blood also.  I canceled my colonoscopy because in 2005 I lost my spleen to a colonoscopy so now I am afraid.  And because of the pain I experienced after an endoscopy I don't want another one of them also.  I don't know where to go from here.  My doctor seems to not think it is that bad.   He wanted my gallbladder to come out, all of my 7 siblings and mother had had theirs out, plus with the HYda being 50% functional, he thinks it is diseased.  But the surgeon won't take it out.  He says it is not bad enough.   My doctor says I will probably walk around with this pain until the gallbladder is out, but can't get the surgeon to budge.  I have been to Mass. General but they wanted to look down throat and colonoscopy also, but I cancelled I can't do that again.   My sister just recently died of stomach cancer.  She had a herendous surgery at Mass General last year 2008.  They thought they got it all, but it came back with a vengence.  I don't want to have something and it turns to cancer.  I am not worrying because of her.  I had this before she was diagnosed.  Please help.