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Anger management problems-is this a Chiari symptom?????
Does anyone else have or has had issues with anger? I am not sure what is going on with me. I feel like I am going crazy sometimes. I know I am not truly mentally ill because I am able to reason that how i am acting is not good but I am so bothered that i just act out any way. I am using profanity around my kids that i would not have used a year ago and I am yelling all the time. I just feel so frustrated and aggravated, my stresses are no bigger than they have been for the last 20 or so years of my adult life. i have always had times in the past where I felt like I was going to snap but they were only about once every six months and i related those episodes to holding my feelings in too often or hormones or post anesthesia issues. NBow I seem to snap at my family every day. I love my children and husband and know thati am blessed to have them but I just feel so mad about everything they do or dont do. I am not an OCD or anal retentive person but I can't seem to function now when things seem cluttered or chaotic. BTW, I have ADHD and my children all have it as well- all four of them. Anybody else ever feel like this. I know that my life is wonderful compared to so many others and I have joy in my heart - not depressed just get angry because of stuff. Help anyone who can tell me that i am not going crazy and just dont realize it.
My wife has been diagnosed with a chiari in 2013 when we had our first baby. She goes into fits of rage lasting 5/6 hours at a time, none stop profanity around the children and myself. She refuses to get help. While raging her lips mouth and nose become purple and occasionally she will throw up. Knowing my wife as I do this is isn’t the behaviour of the person I know and love.
1 Comments
Hi and welcome to the Chiari forum.
Has your wife had any testing since? It is possible the birth and time has changed how her Chiari is affecting her....and it is possible she developed a related condition like Syringomyelia....so do encourage her to go for testing just to see how her DX'd condition is doing....avoid talking about her "fits" as she may resist.....but since so many nerves can be affected by this condition it is possible to be the reason for her "fits"
Has your wife had any testing since? It is possible the birth and time has changed how her Chiari is affecting her....and it is possible she developed a related condition like Syringomyelia....so do encourage her to go for testing just to see how her DX'd condition is doing....avoid talking about her "fits" as she may resist.....but since so many nerves can be affected by this condition it is possible to be the reason for her "fits"
COMMUNITY LEADER
Did they rule out related conditions that could be causing u some of these issues out side of the disk issues?
I have some back pain and alot of numbness tingling. usually ibuprofen takes care of the pain. I have had cervical herniated disc issues had a repair a year after i had my chiari decompression
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi and welcome to the Chiari forum.
I am so sorry u r still having the outbursts....have u talked to ur Dr about this? There may be some meds to help with this.
Do u have ne other symptoms?
I had anger problems prior to my surgery. Mine would get so bad . I would get so made i would destroy things or say very mean things to my husband. It will be 6years since I have had my surgery and the outburst are not as frequent but still have them and I just hate myself for it. I feel like I have destroyed my marriage because of them
I did find that it got a lot better for me after surgery...but not for a few months after... One day I went out to this gathering and I realized that I hadn't felt dizzy or out of it and that I was able to carry on a conversation and I was like...WOW!!
I still do get that feeling now if I let my life get too complicated...I had to realize that I can't necessarily take on what the normal mom takes on. It is disappointing to me but it's not worth the person I become when I'm overwhelmed.
Carolyn
I still do get that feeling now if I let my life get too complicated...I had to realize that I can't necessarily take on what the normal mom takes on. It is disappointing to me but it's not worth the person I become when I'm overwhelmed.
Carolyn
OMG!! Everything you all said I feel the same way...I can't have too much going on around me. I mean, I can't talk on the phone and do a task at home. it's too much for me to handle in my brain. I'm hoping that maybe since I've had the surgery some of that will go away but who knows if it will. I can only thank God that he has given me some close friends and family to understand that it's not them and it's me.
once again...lost my train of thought...my sign to get off the computer....lol
Sheila
once again...lost my train of thought...my sign to get off the computer....lol
Sheila
Thanks everyone for sharing. You are all such strong people to deal with all you deal with yet still take time to try to help others who are going through similar things. I hope when I can get an accurate diagnosis I can at least offer a better explanation than I am just a crazy woman to my kids and DH. Thank you so much>
One NS I saw when I was trying to decide if I wanted to proceed with the surgery or not told me that a lot of his patient come back to see him (after having surgery) and just say how much better they feel emotionally and mentally as well as physically.
All the little (and big) symptoms that we put up with really start to add up and take their toll on us and a person can only take so much.
You're not alone. I could tell you all the little things that push me over the edge that shouldn't really be a big deal, but you get the point form everyone else's posts. It seems to be a common theme amongst us chiarians!
All the little (and big) symptoms that we put up with really start to add up and take their toll on us and a person can only take so much.
You're not alone. I could tell you all the little things that push me over the edge that shouldn't really be a big deal, but you get the point form everyone else's posts. It seems to be a common theme amongst us chiarians!
When I read your post...it was like the words were coming out of my own mouth...
I totally understand what you are going through..I have been like that for years and been on many different medications for it b/c I thought it was anxiety or depression. I would get into those "funks" and I would feel so overwhelmed and angry about everything, I remember crying driving home everyday after dropping my boys off at school. So I thought it was hormones....or that I was doing too much...all which may have been true..
BUT..now I realized it was b/c every day my body was fighting something that was wearing me down...the feeling of being overwhelmed was due to being so exhausted physically but not being able to let go of my standards mentally (my housework, volunteering etc...) The light didn't come on for me until I started to get sick and then I realized...that is why I am having trouble. For me...when I started to not be able to walk properly, it was in a way relieving. I just told people I couldn't do it....
Unfortunately, post op, that feeling hasn't really lasted. A lot of ppl think you should be back to your old self and many times I have ended up overwhelming myself and getting back into the same anger mode. When I am tired and in pain and I look around my house (that looks like a bomb went off) I just feel desperate like there is no way I can physically do this..
The key is that you have to let it go...however you manage that...I just take my kids and walk out the door, go to the park or beach and leave the mess. Then when we come home I explain to them that they all have to pick up a chore to get the house clean. This has also come to involved my DH too...everyone has to pick up more of the slack.
So instead of blaming yourself about the anger you feel..if you are like me you hate being that way...so you have to change your life and lower your expectations. I know it sounds hard to do, but you have a condition in where you are chronically ill...and you can not do what you were doing before.
Sorry for the long post..but I am really hoping I can reach out to help you with this..
Carolyn
I totally understand what you are going through..I have been like that for years and been on many different medications for it b/c I thought it was anxiety or depression. I would get into those "funks" and I would feel so overwhelmed and angry about everything, I remember crying driving home everyday after dropping my boys off at school. So I thought it was hormones....or that I was doing too much...all which may have been true..
BUT..now I realized it was b/c every day my body was fighting something that was wearing me down...the feeling of being overwhelmed was due to being so exhausted physically but not being able to let go of my standards mentally (my housework, volunteering etc...) The light didn't come on for me until I started to get sick and then I realized...that is why I am having trouble. For me...when I started to not be able to walk properly, it was in a way relieving. I just told people I couldn't do it....
Unfortunately, post op, that feeling hasn't really lasted. A lot of ppl think you should be back to your old self and many times I have ended up overwhelming myself and getting back into the same anger mode. When I am tired and in pain and I look around my house (that looks like a bomb went off) I just feel desperate like there is no way I can physically do this..
The key is that you have to let it go...however you manage that...I just take my kids and walk out the door, go to the park or beach and leave the mess. Then when we come home I explain to them that they all have to pick up a chore to get the house clean. This has also come to involved my DH too...everyone has to pick up more of the slack.
So instead of blaming yourself about the anger you feel..if you are like me you hate being that way...so you have to change your life and lower your expectations. I know it sounds hard to do, but you have a condition in where you are chronically ill...and you can not do what you were doing before.
Sorry for the long post..but I am really hoping I can reach out to help you with this..
Carolyn
I totally relate, and there are times when I hate the world. People can be wearing the color green and it makes me mad. The other day I got really mad at the guy at wal-mart because they didn't carry the American Flags you can put on you window. I even told him it was stupid. So not like me. First, it's rude, second it's trashy to be like that. Then at check out I didn't have enough cash so I had to go to the ATM which was really close, there was no one behind me, it was a super fast ATM, so it wasn;t a big deal. When I got back to the checker I said" I am so sorry" - She didn't say anything! I said "DID YOU HEAR ME?' She said "yea" I said "well alright then, you could acknowledge I was speaking to you" WHAT DID I SAY????? Now, for some people that might not be a big deal, but I am NOT like that.
I get like that with my family too, I don't mean it, and alot of the times it is worse when I get super tired. I finally told my kids when I get like that it is not their fault, they are not really making me mad, it is just what is wrong with my brain and I am tired, and they understand, and I told them to tell me when I get out of control that I am acting tired. That is my cue to go chill out, and they let me rest.
And yes on what Selma said, too much going on hurts. I can't even deal with busy patterns on walls or furniture. I literally feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. When I go to the grocery store, if it is when it is really busy (which I try to avoid) I have to literally almost run through the store to get out quicker or go to a part of the store where there is almost no people for a minute to chill out. At checkout I have to keep my eyes on one thing otherwise the commotion of all the people, all the carts full of stuff, (yes, full carts bug me- so cluttered LOL) then annoying things people do and let their kids do, makes me feel like kicking someone!
I have thrown away alot of things I wish I hadn;t because I will go for a while not really "noticing" anything in my home, then one morning waking up all feeling like I can't breath in my house because of the clutter, then go on a feverent spree with a trash bag just clearing things away because it is bugging me so much. They way I have learned to deal with that is to make sure I have a space for everything, even if it is a drawer. Also ditto on having to keep lists to not forget anything. I even have to pre-plan down to the minute otherwise my brain gets chaotic and then I just get stuck and can;t do anything.
SO no, you are not alone. It does feel weird though.
I get like that with my family too, I don't mean it, and alot of the times it is worse when I get super tired. I finally told my kids when I get like that it is not their fault, they are not really making me mad, it is just what is wrong with my brain and I am tired, and they understand, and I told them to tell me when I get out of control that I am acting tired. That is my cue to go chill out, and they let me rest.
And yes on what Selma said, too much going on hurts. I can't even deal with busy patterns on walls or furniture. I literally feel like I am going to jump out of my skin. When I go to the grocery store, if it is when it is really busy (which I try to avoid) I have to literally almost run through the store to get out quicker or go to a part of the store where there is almost no people for a minute to chill out. At checkout I have to keep my eyes on one thing otherwise the commotion of all the people, all the carts full of stuff, (yes, full carts bug me- so cluttered LOL) then annoying things people do and let their kids do, makes me feel like kicking someone!
I have thrown away alot of things I wish I hadn;t because I will go for a while not really "noticing" anything in my home, then one morning waking up all feeling like I can't breath in my house because of the clutter, then go on a feverent spree with a trash bag just clearing things away because it is bugging me so much. They way I have learned to deal with that is to make sure I have a space for everything, even if it is a drawer. Also ditto on having to keep lists to not forget anything. I even have to pre-plan down to the minute otherwise my brain gets chaotic and then I just get stuck and can;t do anything.
SO no, you are not alone. It does feel weird though.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well just know u r not alone in how u feel...including the high tolerance for pain....most of us seem to handle pain differently.....but the tinnitus really gets to me at times too...it seems to slowly be getting better.
The IBS is still causing issues..especially with the weather changes we've been having...hot and then cool, and going in and out of the AC......
I also have GERD...I have a hiatal hernia.....this causes many issues....and with GERD, u do have to avoid certain foods...and modify lifestyle too...that can help.
I understand what u mean about meds.....I always had a hard time with dealing with things when the meds cloud us up more than the chiari does.....so, unless I can't avoid it...I do not take meds that can affect me in that way too.
Have u tried taking the non -drowsy formula of Dramamine...it can help with vertigo.
I once had it last for 2 weeks...no fun...so I understand what u mean...as I am sure there r many others here that can relate as well.
Hang in there
"selma"
The IBS is still causing issues..especially with the weather changes we've been having...hot and then cool, and going in and out of the AC......
I also have GERD...I have a hiatal hernia.....this causes many issues....and with GERD, u do have to avoid certain foods...and modify lifestyle too...that can help.
I understand what u mean about meds.....I always had a hard time with dealing with things when the meds cloud us up more than the chiari does.....so, unless I can't avoid it...I do not take meds that can affect me in that way too.
Have u tried taking the non -drowsy formula of Dramamine...it can help with vertigo.
I once had it last for 2 weeks...no fun...so I understand what u mean...as I am sure there r many others here that can relate as well.
Hang in there
"selma"
I understand LOL because you laugh or you will cry. I don't have as much problem as everyone else with pain- it is the other problems that are getting to me. I have been told I have a high pain tolerance but I know that I don't have very good tolerance for tinnitus, vertigo, IBS, GERD, numbness in my upper extremities etc etc etc.I hate to feel as if I was just making excuses for feeling like i am losing it at times. I had a doctor tell me once that all stress- whether good or bad, physical,emotional or mental, is handled by the same area of the brain. I guess when your brain is small like mine that is alot to handle that is an unfair workload. I feel like I should probably take something for the problem but I am a person who gets knocke dout by a Benadryl so I do not like the way i feel on most mood drugs. I don't even medicate my ADHD because i am afraid I wont be able to get anything done- weird I know but I manage to get a bunch accomplished in my hyperactivity-not efficiently but accomplished none the less. Thanks for being so supportive. You really are an inspiration to all the people who post here-its nice to receive such encouragement.
COMMUNITY LEADER
LOL...sorry, not laughing at u...with u...yes, I must look like a crazy person at times myself...especially when I was still driving...if some of the other drivers could hear what I am yelling inside my car...lol....never to them, but bcuz of them....could turn into a case of road rage very fast......
Pain causes ur temper and tolerance to be much shorter.....
Yes to the chaotic environments...I have diff to read these posts if my DH is talking and the TV is on.....it can feel overwhelming.....
When I was still working I had to structure my day in order not to forget what needed to be done.....
Bcuz of brain stem compression/involvement.....we do have an issue with emotions...we cry easy...get grouchy easy....overly sensitive...
"selma"
Pain causes ur temper and tolerance to be much shorter.....
Yes to the chaotic environments...I have diff to read these posts if my DH is talking and the TV is on.....it can feel overwhelming.....
When I was still working I had to structure my day in order not to forget what needed to be done.....
Bcuz of brain stem compression/involvement.....we do have an issue with emotions...we cry easy...get grouchy easy....overly sensitive...
"selma"
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