I try very hard not to be self-pitying, particularly in public, but I just lost it.
I couldn't reach something, & the only person to come down that aisle just happened to have Parkinson's (peripheral neuropathy & another disability, he said. But he joked that he was short too).
I felt so bad for him, knocking over the boxes of trash bags to get to the kind that I wanted, and just worn out, period from weeks & weeks of pushing myself, that I couldn't even stop crying. Geesh.
Now I have to face 10 trips unloading the car....
I hope you are feeling better! It isn't easy. Sounds like you need a helper. Do you have access to homemaking services. Can someone come along and help you when things are out of reach? Call the local MS Society and ask for their input. I have only recently been exactly where you are. Drive safely!
Hi viva I hope by now the groceries are put away &you have had a chance to sit with a cup of something or even lie down for a bit. Your post warmed my heart because I saw it as your tears being prompted by compassion for someone. I know for me once the tears start they just keep flowing because they have been pent up but regardless of how they start it is good to let them out. I am praying for you to have a good recharge today. hugs June
I am so sorry sweetie! I understand how you feel, I have my chiari issues along with other health issues and shopping can become very depressing! I used to love to do it! I used to go to Black Friday shopping also and can no longer do that without pain and assistance. I look at it as I have a friend to go with me because if I looked at it as I'm incapable of doing it by myself I too would be depressed the majority of the time. There was no Black Friday for me this year, my sidekick is sick and I didn't think to ask anyone else to go. Besides the fact that I've been rocking with a HA for 5 days now that is really taking it's toll. I had to take care of Thanksgiving this year as my mom couldn't. My brother pitched in and my dad and DH did also! PT had taken it's toll along with my HA's. I can't seem to get rid of this HA. I try and maintain a bright and sunny outlook but there are times you can fall back on the ole' woe is me outlook, I try to kick that in the bud when it rears it's ugly little head! :) I hope you are feeling better, I wind up using my forearm crutches to knock stuff off the top shelves as the vertigo keeps me form looking and reaching up for most items, with my crutches I can either knock it into my basket or my little man's hands if he can't reach it. I see others that are worse off than me and at times I want to kick myself...there are other's out there worse off than I am and it breaks my heart for them. My heart breaks for you as I understand what you are going through and am praying for you! ((((HUGS)))))
Thanks for the kind words; I really appreciate it. The temporarily able-bodied don't know how much we suffer.
I just feel so bad for ALL of us sometimes. (and the poor, and the animals, and the planet--see how this train of thought goes?)
People say that god doesn't give us anything we cant handle, but people break all the time.
I think the worst is feeling bad physically & emotionally at the same time. Sometimes it just lines up like that. In this case it was overwork, loneliness (we had 0 Thanksgiving), frustration, etc.
The question I have is, if you don't take care of yourself, does it slow down recovery--or prevent it?
June, the groceries are still all over the counter--except for what when in the fridge--& that's where they're going to stay until I need the space. It keeps the cats off, lol.
So sorry to hear that you went through all the tears, but I made me laugh thinking if you went into the next isle I would be their in tears too LOL.....I do this at the stores because the lights, noise etc is so crazy for me and I have left sometimes in tears also. Something we have to get through. After I had an eposoided like this I sat in my car and starting laughing thinkin of the people who were looking at me like I was crazy LOL.....have to laugh at ourselves also. I also wear sunglasses and earplugs and it's Nov. but we do what we have to do. Everyone suggested a helper to go with you. It would be more fun and you would be able to laugh instead of cry. Me and stores don't get along, bless my DH he does most of the shopping. Please look into a service or a friend. I hope your home resting, relaxing and now laughing at the sisuation. In the end you got what you needed the groceries are in the house. It's an accomplishment YEAH!!!!! Best wishes.
Hey viva...i am really sorry of what u went thru...but wanted to let u know that i cry everywhere,really everywhere.if i am sad...i cant stop it.plus i dont feel ashame...i am person who is always showing what i feel.my bf already get used to it too...that i sometimes get out of control,but he does understand why.dont be so hard on you...let it go and flow
I have been grocery shopping by myself for 7 weeks, ever since my DH broke his leg, which is still not healed. They think 2 more weeks....
I hadn't even been grocery shopping for 2 years(!) until recently.
I lied; it was only 7 trips unloading the car.
Selma, here, volunteer situations are lined up & supervised long in advance. (Some places don't offer it at all). I know that every year some parents are opposed to their little darlings being "enslaved".
There are no thoughtful neighbors & no family nearby. I've lived in 4 states-- this is the most unfriendly by far. But that's OK; what a wake up call.
Viv, so sorry that you are on your own doing the shopping until hubby gets both feet back...I know you order online as much as possible, but somethings just have to be done in person. My family is always on the look out to help ill or elderly with reaching items of the shelves, and I'm always sickened by those that watch someone struggle and never offer assistance. You really do need to slow it down, but I know you are doing as much as possible. I really wish we could be of assistance, as our HS requires our kids to have community service hours for graduation.
However, this post got me to thinking...we have a friend that is heading into her second tethered cord surgery(the first one retethered), and she will be needing help with the dishes and vaccauuming etc. I volunteered to help her but never thought about having the girls use it for c.s. hours. Wish we could be there to help you, but thanks to you- we will be helping someone in our area. Hugs to you Viv, know that in my heart I wish I was there with my arm around you and wiping away your tears...and when the crying stops - I'd give you a funny joke because I know how you love a good laugh. HUGS Viv!
Had to tell u what a wonderful post u just put up....I am so glad u r able to get ur girls CS hours in helping another Chiarian.
@Viv...so sorry the people around u do not agree with offering help, even if there is no credit...goodness it is in giving that we receive, not shouting from the rooftops looky what I did....ugh...ok done with me rant.
What a great idea! (seems like it's mostly those of us who have suffered or struggled who think about others).
I did a few things due to losing it: I asked (insisted) that my next checkup (that I had to cancel this wk) be in Dec. It's a surgery day, so usually no checkups, but I said I would wait all day in the motel. How restful!
I wrote to the owner of the property where I shop, asking him to reconsider the parking handicap spaces (they're really not that "handy"), and to have a stop sign for cars, where people are pushing heavy carts--with no brakes.
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