Just a rant!

[drewlevas]

Here in Canada its tanksgiving week-end.

And even if I like to see all these people I havent seen in months or even years I CANT stand all their hugs. It feels like if they are crushing me! Especialy that I'm much shorter than all of them! They hug me around the neck or under only one arm and they basicly raise me from the floor! And my head always end up in a very painfull and weird position!

I'm about to buy a T-shirt that says 'Lite hugs and kisses on the head are alowed. But dont bear hug me I'm not made out of fleece!'' I really wonder how I could tell all the far (and some close) relative that even if they are happy to see me and they love me and that it feel good for them to be stongly hug. It HURTS me!

I when I was a kid I could push them and have a little meltdown and they would all let me alone! But now I'm an adult and I proved them that I can work prety well in public as long that they let me walk away when there is to much people around and I am a parent that have to explain that my eldest refuse to be touch by people she dont see regularly.

Ya I just wanted to rant about those hugs when people think that because your smaller, you are a teddy bear.

[drewlevas]

I also have costochondritis, so we understand eachother on that point.

[drewlevas]

Thanks I'll try to get them to hug me around the hip. It could work!

[linnielou232]

WOW can I relate to the hug's.  I come from a very touchy and huggy family which I love, and I am also a short one.  On my first outing around family and friend's after my surgery.  I never realized the natural reach of hug's, but YES every one reach's for the neck.  I am very blessed and thankful I have a very big and tall husband who actually act's as my body guard and he will stop people right away and tell them to please not wrap their arms around my neck.  I remember one instinct when my husband wasn't around and a cousin of my had 1 toooo many and he wrapped his arm's around my neck and just squezzedd.  OUCH!  thank goodness a newphew of mine was near by and actually yelled at him to let me go.  My tipsy cousin didn't understand the seriousness of my chairi issue.  My defense mechanism that I use because I am also a hugger.  I usually am the first responder and I reach out and I gently reach for their arm before they can wrap their arm's around my head so usually this work's and they move their arm around the hip.  You can try this.  It sure helped for me.  My emmediate family already know's that hug's around the neck are not alowed and they watch out for me around other's.  It's weird though how naturally our body's reach out for the neck.  I never noticed it before, but once a Chairain alway's a chairian.  So I also suggest to let your family  be aware of your issue because I know that saying love hurt's some times, but hell you don't need bear hugs LOL.  I hope you enjoy your family, but be forward and let them know.  You don't want your holiday to end up with a headache or something maybe even worse.  Enjoy your family.
Also from one chairian to another.  Hug's around  the hip. LOL

[Jennyfoo]

I don't have any suggestions other than just telling people, but I certainly can commiserate. I have severe pain in just about every joint in my body from Ankylosing Spondylitis, & severe rib pain from inflammation there too: costochondritis. Hugs REALLY hurt bad. I just ask people to be gentle.

[selmaS]

  U r so welcome...I figured those gentle air ((hugs)) would be ok...lol...

Thanks....

  Good luck and let me know how it works for u : )

      "selma"

[drewlevas]

Thank you selma. I love these kind of hugs. So ((((hugs)))) to you to.

And I'll try to do just what you said.

[selmaS]

  Hi Drew, I know just what u mean it forces ur head and neck in a very uncomfortable position.... what u could do is offer ur hand as they approach for a hand shake and say I hope u don't mind, I have a condition  that makes most hugs painful....and if they ask what do u mean u could explain or they could just say sure and shake...either way u r educating them on chiari and what u need and don't need from them...and it can be done in an adult manor.

  Hope that helps : )

Happy Thanksgiving

   ((((hugs))))

  "selma"