anybody else dealing with a lack of concern from significant other.

[disasterfullbeauty]

I don't know how to get him to take the time to learn more or at least enuff about this disease to be more understanding.when I take longer than normal to grasp what he is talking about or when I try to explain something or recall memories or sometimes the most simple brain functioning at times is difficult and mnearly impossible . .so to be clear it's not as if he does not love me he just doesn't get that it's serious therefore important that he learn  about it as much as possible and be supportive . But if he doesn't realize how serious it is then he'll never take the time to learn enuff about It to understand any of it and that's super frustrating especially when he thinks I'm using it as an excuse .I don't want sympathy or attention ,most of my friend know nothing or very little of the fact that I am sick at all. Which is why I am needing his support and patience .what do I do to get thru to him .

[kwalker0004]

I'm so fortunate to have a SO who has been through many of migraine episodes and have seen my health falling from what it use to be. Ever since we been together he has known about how bad I get headaches. He has showed concern. Has waited countless hours in ERS to be told that there was nothing to be done. 7 months ago we finally got the first real answers we needed to explain why all these migraine attacks.

I'm glad I have such a supportive SO. He means the world to me. He protective, and yes he tries to get me to things that might not cause an episode but stubborn me doesn't listen. I know he doesn't like the idea but I also know that he will be there beside me when I need him the most.

Of course I also had to get him to learn about the condition. But it was easy as he attended my doctors appointment from the beginning when I first went to the NS. He doesn't know medical terms so of course I triednto explain it to him in lamest terms. So he could understand. He jumped in and asked questions once he realized this dealt with my head. He really showed concern.

Men show emotions different from us women. Just remember that ladies. They truly might not completely understand this condition. But it doesn't mean they don't care what is happening to your health.  Recommend doing some research for this condition together. That's what I did. Because I wanted to know more and so did he. We both did our own research and we compared what we learned. It was fun.

[Elisaandbucky]

As many of my fellow posters have observed, your wisdom keeps us all afloat.

[selmaS]

  Your DH may be  scared too...scared for you bcuz it is out of his control...men deal with these things differently...my DH did not have a convo with me about it either,...but I knew he was there and would be with me and helping me....that is all I needed, but what we want is to talk, that is why this forum is great we can talk to others that understand and are more willing to share how they feel./felt....in the same situation.

No worries...((hugs))

[Elisaandbucky]

As always, your words comfort.

Sometimes it is difficult to know for sure what people who love us understand. I said that my husband was emotionally absent. However, he is very good at what some men do well - "try to fix things" in a physical way. For example, our autistic son requires lots of hands on care (bathing, dental hygiene, dressing), and every night when he comes home, my husband bathes our son ( who is a whole head taller than me), and I do the story when it is reading time. If I am resting, he tells our son to "be quiet because Mama is resting."

By emotionally absent, i mean that he will not talk to me about how the surgery recovery time will affect our family. And what I do know is that my health status is on his mind. We just don't.talk about it. I would so love if he could see the words written by people like me on this community. I want him to know that I am in a safe and supported in a place at times that I would otherwise feel so alone.

Thank you, Selma, for helping me to get important things into perspective - to be able to view things from others' eyes.

[selmaS]

  Hi this tends to be a current thread for those with invisible conditions and one that Drs do not understand or will even admit can cause much of what we are going thru.....

For me my husband did not seem interested as I have dealt with the symptoms as long as I know him.....but once I got a DX he did his own research...then I had the opposite...over protection to the point I was not allowed to do certain things....still can be that way....but I know he understands what I am going thru...

For those that have absent significant others keep in mind how hard it is to locate a Dr that understands....so give them so lead way as this condition is not well known although far from rare, the only thing rare are well informed and experienced Drs....

Once your SO takes time to learn what is going on, or jumps on this site they may have a different view to it all....

But again, since it is hard to get those in the medical community to understand what we go thru, it will be twice as hard to get those we love to understand it  too.

Hang in there and know you are not alone <3

[Elisaandbucky]

Our souls should keep company. If you did not sign your own name to your post, I would think I was reading about my own life.

My husband of 25 years is emotionally absent. His insurance affords me good healthcare. His salary affords me a safe home and nutritious diet. However, his heart offers no emotional connection or understanding. Like you, I do not share my physical pain with anyone - I am always hearing about others' lives, that there is no time to talk about my own.

How do you care for yourself?