I think, that in your case, getting the book, "The ADD/ ADHD Answer book," by Susan Ashley, would be a very good idea. The more you learn about ADHD, the more you are able to help your children and also help them understand what is happening to them. The book also gives you ways to work with the school to make sure that your children are not being deprived of their educational rights. There is also a very good section on discipline. If you wish any other resources, you will find me over at
http://www.medhelp.org/forums/ADD---ADHD/show/175
Getting another opinion is always a good idea especially when dealing with ADHD, but one thing that seems to help shildren with ADHD is to keep them ver busy and on regular schedules with very strict and consistent rules and schedules.
Oh, and the go to person for adhd around here, Sandman, recommends the book "The ADHD Answer book" by Susan Ashley. You should find some strategies of dealing with things in this book
Hm. Well, sometimes medication isn't the answer. I am a little confused, however, as you say that your dr. wouldn't give medication to your daughter but what she is taking doesn't help. What does that mean exactly?
I'm against medicating any child under age 6 in most cases as there is a wide range of what is within normal for behavior until that point. And then putting it off as long as possible seems like a good idea to me as a mother. The meds can be very helpful for some kids but also do absolutely have side effects.
I have a son with sensory integration disorder which is very similar to adhd. Both involve nervous systems that are out of sync and issues with focus, impulsivity, etc. We have seen an occupational therapist for my son since he was 4 and he is now 7. He is doing fantastic with no IEP, no medication, etc.
So you don't say specifically where your areas of concern are for your daughter in school. I will tell you that for a sensory kid (again, similar to adhd)------- doing much of what they call "heavy work" outside of school hours helps him maintain himself in school. Simple things around the house like animals walks such as crab walk, bear walk, snake, leap frog are good. Jumping on a mattress pulled on the floor. Take pillows off the couches and from around the house and make a big pile. Let her climb through them and push on them. Activites such as swimming are awesome for the nervous system and have a lasting calming effect, playing soccer, tumbling, gymnastics, etc. Go to parks and run, climb, roll, jump,. swing, etc. All soothing to the nervous system. In occupational therapy we have also learned lots of behavioral techniques. I'm not sure exactly what the issue is at school so if you care to elaborate, I'll see if anything I've learned/tried would apply.
I'd get your boy also doing the physical activities. The famous Michael Phelps has adhd and swimming was quite helpful to him in controlling it.
But doctors that have patients or parents of patients that come in "asking for meds" will usually go through steps to make sure they are warrented. Medicating a child is not to be taken lightly and a good doctor takes his time doing so. It does help some children but not appropriate for all. good luck