My 5 year old is touching herself

[nema2]

My 5 year old daughter keeps touching herself and I can't seem to get her to stop. I have explained to her this is inappropricate but she doesn't listen. What can I do???

[margypops]

If it is excessive perhaps a good idea to ask why she is doing it as she is only 5 year old , has she been around other children and is copying ,ask her some questions in a nonchalent manner so not to make her think she is doing something wrong,

[MyThoughts101]

I explained it to my own two children simply that the reason those parts are called private parts is because just that - they are meant to remain private. So that includes them touching their own, no one wants to see you touching your privates so they are yours, yes, but keep touching them private and this also means they are private and NO ONE ELSE should touch theirs nor they touch anothers. This includes any and all adults unless they are helping to wipe after going potty. And that no one -even the doctor - should touch their privates unless it is a check up and even then mommy or daddy should be there and if they say stop, they are in charge of their privates. Also, if a grown up needs to check their privates and make sure they are healthy - it is NEVER a secret. If someone - kid or grown up makes them feel funny or not right, they should ALWAYS tell another grown up if not two grown ups. Its okay for them to touch them because theyre their's but  only IN private and  if anyone else is involved in helping with their privates its NEVER  a  secret. I would  also personally like to add that I help them understand  that they sould not feel ashamed. Theyre their privates but others shouldnt be made uncomfortable so any touching yourself keep private. Shaming can lead to just as many problems for a child as being touched inaproppriately. As long as parents treat the subject as trivial  the children will think its another trivial topic. Over-reacting will raise red flags and generate more curiosity in children. All children have generally healthy intuition.

[hikerDad]

I disagree that masturbation is normal at age 6. No hang ups with masturbation at all, but one must determine how the child was exposed to such a behavior that they are mimicking.

Question about your story: If she was a baby, and you son was 4 when the "fingering" incident occurred, how would she have picked up on a habit from a one-time occurance? By blaming your son you are insinuating he continued to touch her and exposed her to that behavior. Now the question is, who exposed your son to that behavior at 4 years old?

[DylanKing1999]

It isn't normal for such a young child to be so sexual. She must somehow be exposed to sexual content. This could be from a lot of things like television, accidentally seeing you and your partner have sex, or even sexual abuse. You definitely shouldn't punish this behavior! I would handle this very gently. Ask her where she got this from. If she is being abused by someone you obviously need to do something about it. If she's being exposed to sex in another way you will also have to find a way to stop it.

[nicobelleck]

i think most of us has had an experience in this topic. To be open i caught my daughter (6) rubbing her private area in the bath,on her bed,watching tv. Lucky not infront of people but stil i was concerned. I got realy peeved when i went to check on her one night ,to find that she wasnt in bed. Instead when i looked for her under the bed,she was busy rubbing herself. I know it was wrong but i yelled at her an she started crying.   but image someone else like her brother came in and found her legs open with a full view of what shes doing.hes 10 now but when she was a baby i caught him with hes hand in her diaper touching her down there.. At first i just told him its a girls pvt place an he may not touch there. But later a while  when i went to shower i had 2 leave her in the cot an he was watching tv. When i was done i coudnt find him. I went to the cot and there he was . He had pulled her diaper off  an literly was fingering her. I went bilistic. But a gud hidding or 2 solved tht problem. But today i think it was her brother that introduced this habit to her.  

[DylanKing1999]

Jezus. Yes your daughter is most likely suffering from what her brother did to her. It is also a big question why he did this. That is not just normal child behavior. I would get them both counseling.

[nicobelleck]

hi

[milkygalaxygirl11]

I agree very much with 91004. Just tell her it is a private thing and encourage the bathroom or bedroom.

[91004]

Its normal behavior for a child. Instead of telling her it is inappropriate tell her that it is something we do in private and that if she wants to do that she needs to go to the restroom or do it in her room. That others don't need to see this