10 year old anger

We have a 10 year old that occasionally loses control of his temper.  Last night, was a very upsetting episode for me as he stated "I hate myself, I'm going to kill myself" after being put on a timeout.  He brought down a note that said "I'm never talking to you again," which he says when he is angry and acouple pages later on the pad, "*****" was on it.  I didn't even know he knew the word, and as I said, he is a great kid that maybe gets 3 timeouts a year and is loved by his teachers. He's never said the words "I'm going to kill myself" and I find myself not knowing what to say as he almost seems in a trance when he got/gets so angry.  I told him (calmly) that type of language is totally innapropriate and I'm having him stay inside after school today.  Could you please give me some guidance how to handle this type of behavior?  Thank you!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It sounds like you are doing fine. It's not at all unusual for children to say things like "I'm going to kill myself" or "I'd rather be dead" when they are in a rageful state. The comments are not really suicidal in nature and do not warrant floow-up. They are an expression of rage, not of self-hate or intention to commit suicide. Carry on at the moment as if the words were never spoken. Later, and it might even be the next day, when things are very calm and back to normal, you can talk about your observation and the words that were spoken. What you'll likely hear is that your son never meant any intention to harm himself.

[Sadmommy626]

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