10-year-old girl with many phobias

[Holly45]

My stepdaughter has several phobias: fear of the dark/problems with waking up and falling back to sleep; fear of public restrooms; and, she won't take showers, go to movies (speakers are supposedly too loud), or swim in the pool even though she's had years of lessons she'll only swim with a flotation device or clings to her father if he's in the pool.
The main issue currently is the problem with sleeping.  For the past 2 months she has been waking her father up in the middle of the night (she is with us every Friday and Saturday night) saying she can't sleep.  Unfortunately a few times when I was out of town he let her sleep with him in bed or on the floor in our room.  Her mother gets woken up by the daughter at her home and will crawl into bed with her.  Her mother's boyfriend moved in with her about the time this problem began and I think it's directly related.    
I want to know what we can do to get her back into the mode of sleeping through the night?  My stepdaughter says she's scared because of the ghost stories she reads and scary movies; however, I think it has everything to do with the boyfriend living in the house because she doesn't like him.  
The other fears will probably be overcome by force when she enters middle school she'll be forced to take showers after PE; she'll have to swim laps independent of a flotation device; and, the public restroom issue will be resolved when she doesn't have options!  So, I'm not too concerned with these issues but I wonder about them and if we should be concerned about her level of maturity?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You may not be able, in a direct sense, to remedy the sleeping difficulty. But, while she is with you, patiently insist that she return to her own bed to sleep. It is likely that, once her mother's friend moved in, a chronic pattern of the little girl's sleeping with her mother was interrupted. In that home, she should also be made to sleep in her own bed, and this should be accomplished in a supportive, non-punitive manner. She may need a short course of outpatient therapy to resolve the issue of the change in the family structure and her adaptation to it. Relative to the other concerns, I agree that development will likely be the best remedy. As she proceeds in these next couple/few years, her independence will likely increase. However, if she does commence therapy, the clinician can assess the overall situation, in addition to helping resolve the family structure issue.