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10 year old shouts out and acts up in class everyday.
My 10 year old is having behaviour issued everyday in class. He acts out more certain days then others. I am divorced and have a very strict and stable home. We have 50/50 custody. When he is at Mom's house the behaviour in school is worse. He acts fine at home, school is the main concern. He has had adhd evaluations and does not have it.
Please help!!!
Please help!!!
COMMUNITY LEADER
Sorry to get into this so late, but my daughter was getting married.
Couple of things going on.
My first question would be did he have this problem last year?
What the teacher is doing is not working for a reason. He takes away the kids recess. So an hour or more after he has messed up a punishment happens? What happens if he messes up twice before recess? or after recess? I can tell you as a retired principal that the teacher is not handling this in the best way. Frankly, I would be very tempted to visit the class and see what is going on - or at the least talk to few of the other parents.
Also, you need to figure out when this is happening. If it is happening a lot after being at moms - it could be because he is going to bed a lot later then. Lack of sleep really messes with a kid.
And what is he doing that gets him into trouble?
If he did not have the problem last year - then that says something.
Also, when did he get the NO ADHD diagnosis. How was it done? Was a survey sent to both homes and school? If not, then the clinical guidelines were not followed.
Point being there is a lot that we don't know. The only thing that we do know for sure is that what is happening is not working.
Some basic questions that I always ask are: What grade is he in? When is his birthday. How are his grades now? How were they last year? What are his sleep habits like? When does he act out? How does he act out?
Letting us know this will help us help you. Best wishes.
Couple of things going on.
My first question would be did he have this problem last year?
What the teacher is doing is not working for a reason. He takes away the kids recess. So an hour or more after he has messed up a punishment happens? What happens if he messes up twice before recess? or after recess? I can tell you as a retired principal that the teacher is not handling this in the best way. Frankly, I would be very tempted to visit the class and see what is going on - or at the least talk to few of the other parents.
Also, you need to figure out when this is happening. If it is happening a lot after being at moms - it could be because he is going to bed a lot later then. Lack of sleep really messes with a kid.
And what is he doing that gets him into trouble?
If he did not have the problem last year - then that says something.
Also, when did he get the NO ADHD diagnosis. How was it done? Was a survey sent to both homes and school? If not, then the clinical guidelines were not followed.
Point being there is a lot that we don't know. The only thing that we do know for sure is that what is happening is not working.
Some basic questions that I always ask are: What grade is he in? When is his birthday. How are his grades now? How were they last year? What are his sleep habits like? When does he act out? How does he act out?
Letting us know this will help us help you. Best wishes.
By the way, I highly recommend the Love and Logic way of parenting. Jim Fey has written a wonderful book by the name of Love and Logic that you can pick up in your local library. This is what our school district endorses for helping with kids and following rules and they train our teachers on it as well as parents of the community.
Natural consequences is basically the theme and it is very effective. Love and Logic is wonderful for helping our kids along so please do check it out.
Natural consequences is basically the theme and it is very effective. Love and Logic is wonderful for helping our kids along so please do check it out.
It's really kind of insult to injury to punish at home after the fact if the reason he is acting out is emotionally based in my opinion and as you can see, it doesn't work.
I would talk about a different tact with the teacher as well because taking away recess is really disastrous for 10 year old boys. That is their outlet for excess energy and probably part of the reason he is having a bad day in school.. Same for after school--- if you are taking away his chance to blow off steam, I'd not expect this behavior to change.
Perhaps a counselor to talk about what is going on would be a good approach. I'd also consider something like a light weight punching bag in the basement he can work out his frustration on.
Not to mention talking to him about what is going on.
Your punishments are not working. find the root cause of the behavior and you'll get much further. good luck
I would talk about a different tact with the teacher as well because taking away recess is really disastrous for 10 year old boys. That is their outlet for excess energy and probably part of the reason he is having a bad day in school.. Same for after school--- if you are taking away his chance to blow off steam, I'd not expect this behavior to change.
Perhaps a counselor to talk about what is going on would be a good approach. I'd also consider something like a light weight punching bag in the basement he can work out his frustration on.
Not to mention talking to him about what is going on.
Your punishments are not working. find the root cause of the behavior and you'll get much further. good luck
Hi Mark,
You read my mind. His teacher writes a message to us daily on how his behavior is. He is allowed one warnig. After a warning the teacher takes away recess. Also if he gets a 3rd, when he gets home he is grounded for that day, chores, homework, dinner then to bed early. We have been doing this for a month now with little to no inprovement at all! I am at wits end.
You read my mind. His teacher writes a message to us daily on how his behavior is. He is allowed one warnig. After a warning the teacher takes away recess. Also if he gets a 3rd, when he gets home he is grounded for that day, chores, homework, dinner then to bed early. We have been doing this for a month now with little to no inprovement at all! I am at wits end.
Does he get disciplined at home for poor school behavior? If he is not, it is very important that you work with the teacher in developing a daily journal specific to his daily behaviors. Likewise, it is important that you daily discipline and reward your son at home for his behavior and conduct at school. The discipline and reward needs to be enforced daily in order for it to be effective. Oftentimes, when the child understands that the teacher and his parent is working in concert with each other on behalf of school behavior, the child's behavior automatically improves.
I am sure the divorce has alot to do with it, but it has been 3 years already. He does know the differance between right and wrong, that is the frustrating part, but he keeps acting out at school.
Hi there. Well, could he be struggling with the divorce and the going back and forth?
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