My son Just Turned Ten and He is not Potty Trained. My husband and I have seen about seven different doctors of all spans. My son has been tested, x-rayed, Scanned, blood work, urine work, BM samples, Phycologist, herswin tests, chrons test, celiac test...EVERYTHING...AND THEY SAY NOTHING IS WRONG... My husband and I are so feed up...we have tried rewards, taking things away, giving him more attention, punishmnets, yelling..I just dont know what to do. We have him in Pull-ups at night. During the day he wears underwear but soils and pees in them every hour and just changes instead of using the bathroom that is four feet away...I ask him why and he says "I dont know"....Why is he doing this if he has no medical problems...he is an only child and gets a ton of love, spoiled a little at times, and has a mom and dad that treat him wonderful...Im at loss...We have Tried potty seats..a watch with a timer that goes off...taking him to the potty with us...make him clean himself if he poops his pants...is this a security blanket or being lazy? If anyone in the same boat?? The Doctor said he will eventually grow out of it but he said that two years ago!!! HELP!!!
From a guys point of view. I'm raising 4 boys the oldest 13, 6 and twin 3 year olds. My 6 year old is a bedwetter, but I also know that he is a diaper lover. Basically that means he loves being in diapers/goodnites. My brother the 13 year old is the same way. That could be what is wrong with ur son. He could be a diaper lover, maybe he just doesn't want to grow up which is the reason my 13 year old still likes diapers. It also has to do with being lazy. Ur son is old enough to know what he's doing. If he's not mentally ill, then he knows. I would stop buying him diapers and stuff and make him clean up the messes. His bed, his clothes etc. It sounds harsh, but it worked for my brother. Does ur son do this when ur in public? Or around friends and family?
We do have him clean up when he has an accident ever since he was four he has been washing himself bc we dont want to do it as we think too he needs to learn. This is not just night time its 24/7 he pees and poops every hour in his pants and will sit in it or play in it until I smell somthing and tell him to change. We took him to play with friends all the time in underwear and when I pick him up its so embarrassing he has a wet spot all in the front...so now he has to wear pullups when he goes to friends. I try to keep him in underwear but its hard espessially when we go to do something like movies, road trip, biking ext.. I have to put him in a pull up or we would have him peeing all over the place or pooping. When we are at home or going to the store really quick I'll make hime wear underwear and make him go potty when we arrive at a place but by the time we get back home I smell him and he has had a accident....just dont know what to do!! He poops and pees everywhere..If I didnt use the pullup his urine and BM would go threw his clothes and get on furniture, carpets, seat ext... when he plays or we go in the car. My husband thinks he is using the pullup as a security blanket...We try at every moment we get to potty train and use underwear..
Maybe u should have him tested. Some kids can't control their bodily functions. Also, this is kind of personal but has he ever been abused in anyway? Kids who have tend to mess in their underwear all the time.
I feel your pain...My eight year old daughter has the same issues except for peeing in her pants. That for some strange reason has never been a problem. We've been through the same testing, however,not as in depth as you have gone. She was finally diagnosed with a condition called Encopresis which is basically the act of soiling one's pants. There are a whole host of emotional issues that go along with it. We participated in some therapy early this summer and she has actually been improving. We do reward charts and notice that when we slack off on updating the charts, she starts slacking off also and has more "accidents" We call it the sneaky poop problem. I think its part laziness, not wanting to miss something, attention seeking although she gets much more attention than anyone else in family and not wanting to grow up. She does clean her own soiled pants...we have a special bucket in our bathroom. The therapist encouraged us to attack the issue from a responsibility perspective. We're trying everything we can think of. Lately she has been more agreeable to sitting on the toilet to "giver her body a chance" to poop as long as she can play her DS video game. We always have to prompt her, she will not make the decision to go on her own. I still question wether or not she gets a "feeling" to go or not. She used to hold stools for a long time and therefor stretched out all the muscles and therefor her body doesn't give her any sensation that she needs to go. At one point she was on upto 6 squares of exlax a day. I was so hopeful that we would have this resolved this summer, but I guess I'll continue to pack extra clothes, wipes and panties in her back pack this year. I do also find that she responds to my husband better than me. He's pretty straight forward with her and she knows how to push my buttons...I get so frustrated. I feel sorry for my six year old who now is very aware of all the rewards her sister gets that she doesn't. I try to reward her for other positive behavioral issues, but honestly this kid is fine and has no issues...very well behaved and independent. She wanted to be rewarded the same as her sister, so now we make a big deal when she poops in the toilet which is every time. I'm getting ready to call the therapist back again..Sorry if this was discouraging, but at least you know your not alone. There are others out there dealing with the same issue. That's how I found out about this site...I was feeling like we were the only ones.
I know for you this seems bad. But their are people out there that just prefer nappies. I am one of them. I have prefered to use a nappy for pooping and peeing all my life. Yes I do use the toilet as well though. I'm not sick as far as I know in anyway. I was just born this way. I did not ask for it. I mean who would. It's just the way I'm wired so to speak. I spent many years thinking I was sick in the head or ill. But the truth is I'm not. Was not until I got the internet that I found I was not the only one out there. There are tens of thousands of us. More male than female as far as I can find out though. It was one of the best days of my life to find this out. A huge weight was lifted from me. And I'm now a much better person and understand what's going on.
As to making them wear pants. It's a waste of your time and in a way a bit cruel for your kid. There are a lot worse problems out there such as autism or spinabifida etc they could of had. You might in the end get further with giving them the choice as to what they want to do. Society always is telling us we all have to be the same. To conform. The truth is we aren't or ever will be the same.
Look here on the net you will find lots of sites about diaper lovers some are better than others. But I think you will get more answers than anywhere else.
I just came across this thread and I was wondering how things turned out with your daughter? While I read your comment I was thinking, you could change the gender from female to male and that describes my son more accurately than any comment on any other encopresis site. My son is now 11. He was potty trained at the normal age but that only lasted a couple weeks. He has not used the toilet for poop since then. I'm a single mom and he's an only child and I feel like I'm to blame for the situation because I didn't take it as seriously as I should have and as he got older, it just got harder and it upset him to talk about. Now I have decided once and for all to do whatever it takes to conquer this. My son is finally ready to fix it also. I'd love to hear that your daughter encopresis is no longer an issue. I'm not sure if you'll get this comment but I figured I'd try. Thanks for posting this. It made me feel less alone :)
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