10 year old stealing

[TLEEW]

My daughter has been taking things of mine.  At first it was little things.  But, know she has started to take my rings and other jewelry.  She was grounded with no tv until Christmas because she took a very expensive ring of mine and lost it.  We were able to find it at her school 4 days after she had dropped it on the playground.  But then she and her sister spent the night at my parents house.   When we were leaving I looked in her bag to see if she had gotten all her things.  But, what I found was my Moms ring that had been in her room in a closed dish.  So while my daughter was grounded for taking things of mine.  She takes my Mothers ring.  She has taken things for about 4 years know.  But, has always ONLY taken mine or moms things.  My daughter loves trying to be so grown up.  Is this a compliment to us because she wants to be like us.  Or is she unhappy with us?  When asked why. She says she doesn't know.  I have daycared children for 13 years.  But, can't find a solution for my own child.  My 7 year old daughter is very confused why her big sister does this. We are from a very happy family with a close relationshop with my parents.  We go on vacations with my parents and when traveling my daughter always wants to ride in my parents car.  I try to be consistent with her.  This time her tv came out of her room and she is in bed at 8:00  until further notice. PLEASE let me know if I am missing something.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

I of course can't answer the question of whether your daughter is unhappy with you. Sometimes stealing is a symptom of the emotional relationship of the parties involved, but it is not necessarily indicative of this. Just as often, stealing is a reflection of lack of impulse ccontrol in children who simply want something - they operate on the pleasure principle. You are managing things in an appropriate fashion. That is, you are setting a limit and providing sensible consequences. I'd place a definite time limit on the punishment, rather than keeping it open-ended, and I'd include a component by which your daughter 'makes up' for the wrongdoing by doing something to help her grandmother.

[2boys2]

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