10 year old stepdaughter not like other 10 year olds...

[bchild1108]

Im a new step mom to a beautiful 10 year old.
She is a very tymid, shy and scared 10 year old.
She never wants to try ANYTHING new, if we try to get her to try something that she has never done or ate she will start to cry.
(We were at a park and they had a tram. She started crying because she didnt want to ride it, even though thats the only reason we went)
She crys out of the blue and does not sleep in her own bed.
SHE HAS NO IMAGINATION! Which is super strange to me. (We were at the park one day and some kids were imaginioning they were super heros and they asked if she wanted to play and what power she wanted, she looked at them and gave them a look like "what are yaw talking about", i explained she had to pretend and the whole time she just walked around the play ground and didnt interact with any of the kids)
Its like she is a 10 year old trapped in a grown up body.
Her Mom is....one of a kind. She has 2 other kids, so she def has her hands full. But she tells things to my step daughter that frightens her, talks about her dad in front of her, makes her help out with the 2 other kids. Her mom wont let her kids interact outside of church and their grand parents and the kids are hardly ever outside on nice days!
Anyways My question is is this normal? What can we do to ensure that My step daughter has this social development that she clearly does not have? What can we do to help her be a 10 year old?

[jdtm]

There's a book written by Elaine N. Aron titled "the highly sensitive child".  I suspect there is more going on here than just "sensitivity"; however, I wonder if parts of this book might help you understand this child and therefore be able to help her.  If you google the title of this book, you should be able to find out more information on this topic.  Hope this helps ....

[bchild1108]

Now i see. "I am a new mom to a beatiful step daughter." I meant I married her dad 1 year ago....sorry.

[bchild1108]

I dont know where it came across that I didnt know her very well... I have known and have been active in her life since she was 6 years old. So is 4 years long enought to know if there is something wrong or not?

[melipops]

Hi, I think as you don't know her all that well maybe you should take some time before you decide what is normal. What is normal anyway? Maybe she hasn't been exposed to very many new things so you might need to go slow. Talk to her tacher thye are often very aware of things and they are waiting for the parent to approach them. I think taking her away from her mother could be very damaging. You never really know unless you live in someones house what thier life entails. I would reserve judgement for a while. If this behaviour persisits after a reasonable amount of time eg 6 months i would take her to the paeds.