10 year old

[lovemykids465]

i have been on MH for awhile now and did not even know about this forum. I am hoping by reading some of the posts it will give me some insight to my 10 year old son. We have come a long way over the past year and seen such an improvement but every little bit helps. He was a very difficult baby. colic for a long time, longer then most, he seemed anti social and did not respond when spoken to by many people. I was told he was rude. It turns out he has significant hearing loss and when there is alot of background noise ( white noise) it is hard for him to hear. He has had many behavior problems. Terrible temper. Anger issues. He was diagnosed with having an anxiety disorder and put on Zoloft for it. It does seem to be helping him. He also has OCD. But we were really struggling with the anger out burst. We recently took him to an allergist and found out he has multiple food allergies and we have seen a huge improvement now that we have change his diet. One teacher said she thought he may have aspergers syndrome but his doc does not believe he does. We had him tested for ADHD but he does not have that either. I do not know if he is just use to getting his way with such negative behavior, we have seen a huge improvement since the allergy testing but still not where he should be.

[lovemykids465]

It's a blast! Josh had a wonderful second grade teacher. She recognized the OCD right away. ( He would actually measure his letters and line up his # and if they did not meet his standards he would erase them.) Most of his papers had holes in them due to erasing so much. She was great with him and actually had him help her with other students when it came to neatness and such. He loved it and her so much that with the meds and her care he actually relaxed a bit. In third grade he had a very close family friend and she too was great but this teacher is real old school. She sets her standards high ( he is in advanced classes) and he gets all freaked out. He is doing much better now though.

[brice1967]

In all of the years our son with the seizure disorder has been in school, he has had his share of difficult teachers.  Since treatment has been completed, his hard time in reference to school has been far better.  He of course has teachers he doesn't like or thinks they don't like him... you'll have that.  

At the end of our son's treatment, he was in 3rd grade.  His teacher was fabulous.  Our kid tests completely off the charts.  This teacher said our kid could teach the class.  He also boosted our son's confidence big time by a simple reference at a parent teacher conference.  He said "there are people who go to movies and there are people who make movies... you son has a perspective that nobody else has, and he can make the movies we all want to see".  That alone did so much for his confidence in school.  The thing is, if he knows whats going on in school, he won't do it.  He needs to be challenged.

Isn't parenthood something?

[lovemykids465]

Thank you both. Lol known you both. I have been looking for answers or such a long time and I just gave up asking and started charting things on my own, going back and seeing what works and what did not. All the crap Joe and I went through and the mistakes we made during the process really heightened the negative behavior in him. He is doing much better now that we are but he still has his problems.

He is extremely athletic and ex cells in all sports, the one he is not in is swimming but he loves it so I will jump on that. He has a real hard *$$ teacher this year. I have to bite my tongue when it comes to her. She is not willing in any way to help out. He is extremely bright and has excelled every year but struggled the beginning of this year. He is doing much better now. I just can not wait till this school year is over and he is out of her class.

[specialmom]

Hi.  Well, my son is very much like your son in some regards.  He has sensory integration disorder.  We've really incorporated what they call a sensory diet into our lives for him which is a broad list of activities that sooth and calm his nervous system.  Even things like motor planning which controls how the brain processes and comprehends information to behavior to pretty much every aspect is on track.  He has no IEP and doing beautifully in school.  (this is a minor miracle from where we started.)

ADHD and sensory can look very very much alike and sensory as the lessor known is often misdiagnosed as adhd.  Many kids with adhd also have sensory issues making things worse.  Sensory can look like ocd and anxiety as well as controlling and inflexibility are signs of it.

A sensory diet is really big on what they call "heavy work" which is just really muscle work and physical activity.  Things like swimming on a regular basis would be a part of it (perfect exercise of deep pressure and resistance muscle work).  

I tell you this to add to your list of things to think about (as if you need that, right?).  I've spent three years learning all I can about sensory and working on things that help with it and have many activities I could suggest.  Google it and see what you think and let me know if you'd like some ideas.  It has become my mini passion and I am just so happy that my own son is doing well that I want to help as many as I can with kids with similar challenges.  Let me know if I can help in any way.  

[brice1967]

I am not making light of the situation when I say that the young man sounds a lot like me....  I don't know if this helps, but I noticed some of my anger around my hearing loss.  (Mine is because of years of employment in a bar/nightclub)  The fact that I cannot hear parts of conversations used to upset me big time, but I was an adult and couldn't just throw a tantrum.  Perhaps, his OCD and anger are somehow related.  He acts out to get what he wants... and if it is often, perhaps that's the link to OCD?

And anxiety... holy moses!  Anxiety totally affects my anger issues!!!!  (Also have had a depression disorder that affected anger as well)  Obviously patience is of the most importance.  You guys know that he doesn't necessarily want to act this way, and the good news is you are finding improvement.  I'd suggest staying vigilant and celebrating the small victories when they come.  I know it's hard, and I know you want to do so much more.

(Our oldest had a seizure disorder.  I had the horrible misfortune of witnessing his first grand mall seizure....!  Scared the ever loving mess out of me.  I had no experience with it, but I knew damn well what was happening.  I went from a dead sleep to being on the phone with 911, to trying to time the seizure.... all the while, our little angel was locked up tighter than an oak plank.  I was on the verge of losing my confidence that he'd come out of it when the convulsions stopped.  911 told me that an ambulance was on the way, so I had to be on the phone to Dee Dee. I got a hold of her on a land line at her work, and dang near before I could hang up she busted through the door.  By now, our little boy just wanted to sleep... the paramedics had shown up.  Dee Dee knew all about seizures because of her education, but I knew nothing.  I was scared to death... we both were, but had to be brave for our little boy.  Our doctor at the time, I am sure, is the best doctor in the world.  He got us involved with the head pediatric neurologist in the western U.S. who's life study had been on seizure disorders.  Our son was put into a program under this mans guidance and today is fine.... back tracking a bit.  When we were at the hospital, Dee Dee was handling everything.  I wanted to ball up and cry, take any pain our son was feeling, take all of the tests they were running on him... he was so innocent and didn't need to be going through this, ya know?  After all of the tests and a consultation with our doc who had arranged a meeting in another state with the neurologist, and nurse asked our boy, 'Are you hungry?"  He said he was and asked what they had.  (This is the funny part of the story)  The nurse said, "well, we have scrambled eggs, bacon, cereal, milk, bananas, mixed fruit...."  Our little angel looked the nurse in the eye and said, "yeah, that'll be all right"  Sure enough, they brought him all of that and he ate every single bit.... the kid couldn't have weighed more than 45 lbs at the time and basically knocked down a 4lbs breakfast...LOL.

Anyhow Bridget, I said that to get to this.  We completely put our faith into the medical professionals.  Our doc said if his child had a problem like this, this would be the guy they'd go see.  Here we are 11 years later, and like the doc said... no more seizures.  (KNOCK ON WOOD)  I guess you have to stay on top of it, you know?  Learn all you can about this stuff, keep notes, etc.  You are the boys best advocate, and you know that.  I have a good feeling about this.... I have a feeling that it is probably something so simple that it is being overlooked....  Our thoughts and prayers go out to all of you!