10 year olds anger

My 10 year old daughter is the youngest of my 3 children.  She has always been shy and moody--even as an infant.  In the last 2 years she has become more aggresive (aggressive) and so angry that she scares me.  This past summer she went after her 16 year old sister with a knife, she threw a pair of scissors at a visiting friend, and has become TOTALLY out of control.  There is no way to speak to her when she is in this "zone".  EVERY single night she has complete tantrums about going to bed--we are being too loud, theres a fly in her room, the leaves are blowing too loud outside, her sister (who sleeps in her own room down the hall) is breathing too loud.  It goes on and on and on.  She doesn't ask us to be quiet --- she demands it and she is so angry that she cannot calm down.  I am tired and frustrated and trying really hard to hold it together, but  am at the end of my patience.  I called this morning and made an appointment with a therapist, but appointment is a month away.  Every second of my time with this child is filled with her anger, screaming, and total lack of control.  The school is having problems with her also, of course.  It is not just aimed at her family, but everyone that comes into contact with her.  What can I do???!!??

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Mary,

The eventual work with the therapist will be useful in helping your daughter to regulate her anger and to improve her self control. In addition, the therapy should be helpful to you by way of collaborating around some sound approaches to the parenting issues.

However, your daughter will also very likely need to be treated with medication. It's almost certain that she displays a Mood Disorder (Depressive D/O, Bipolar D/O), and that the brain's neurotransmitters are playing an instrumental role in her volatile, reactive behavior.

[D51]

A related discussion, How to help was started.

[BeckyKilbourn]

A related discussion, 10 Yr Old Daughter somtimes out of control was started.