Member Comments are provided by individuals and reflect their personal opinions only. Under NO circumstances should you act on any advice or opinion posted in this forum. ALWAYS check with your personal physician before taking any action regarding your health! MedHelp International and our partners, sponsors and affiliates have no obligation to monitor any comments posted on this site, or the content and/or accuracy of such exchanges. MedHelp International does not endorse the views of any user.
Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
10-yr old daughter lying
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
10-yr old daughter lying
by Ixora, Aug 26, 2001 12:00AM
My 10-yr old daughter has had history of stealing & lying. The last time she did it was beginning of the year. Since then I've been monitoring and spending more time with her and she has improved in her behavior. Her grades are getting better and she has not done any stealing and lying.
Recently, we bought both she and her younger brother (7yrs) Tamiya racing cars. They raced each other and the brother always win. She's unhappy abt losing and sulks. Last Saturday, while my husband was at work & my son & I were sleeping, she switched her brother's car and claimed that its hers. My husband got back from work and discovered the switch. We got very upset 'cos we know differently. My husband even proved to her that the car was my son's (there's some markings) but she was adamant that she didn't do it. She kept on crying and kept on insisting that she didn't do anything.
How is it possible for her to deny that she did it eventhough we've showed her proof of her lying? How is it that she really believe that she didn't do it? Is this normal behavior in a 10-yr old? Could it be that she did it but she totally erase it from her mind?
My husband is very angry and has told her that if she didn't admit and say sorry, he'll not talk to her anymore. I've told my daughter that I believe her. I also told her to just admit and say sorry to her father although she never do it. She got upset and cried saying she didn't do it. Whenever I asked her she ended up crying and insisted that she didn't do it. I don't know what to do.
Please help!
Recently, we bought both she and her younger brother (7yrs) Tamiya racing cars. They raced each other and the brother always win. She's unhappy abt losing and sulks. Last Saturday, while my husband was at work & my son & I were sleeping, she switched her brother's car and claimed that its hers. My husband got back from work and discovered the switch. We got very upset 'cos we know differently. My husband even proved to her that the car was my son's (there's some markings) but she was adamant that she didn't do it. She kept on crying and kept on insisting that she didn't do anything.
How is it possible for her to deny that she did it eventhough we've showed her proof of her lying? How is it that she really believe that she didn't do it? Is this normal behavior in a 10-yr old? Could it be that she did it but she totally erase it from her mind?
My husband is very angry and has told her that if she didn't admit and say sorry, he'll not talk to her anymore. I've told my daughter that I believe her. I also told her to just admit and say sorry to her father although she never do it. She got upset and cried saying she didn't do it. Whenever I asked her she ended up crying and insisted that she didn't do it. I don't know what to do.
Please help!
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Aug 27, 2001 12:00AM
, Aug 27, 2001 12:00AM
It's best now to simply move on, and not dwell on this. It's very unlikely that your daughter is actually unaware of what she did. She's simply not acknowledging it to you.
Children generally are untruthful when they are trying to avoid 'trouble'. Give her some consequence for what she did, don't engage in any more discussion or debate about it, have her do something nice for her brother to make up for what she did, and move on.
Absolutely do not refuse to speak to her - this is an immature and unhelpful response. It conveys to her that she'll be rejected if she makes mistakes, and that's not a healthy way to manage the situation.
Children generally are untruthful when they are trying to avoid 'trouble'. Give her some consequence for what she did, don't engage in any more discussion or debate about it, have her do something nice for her brother to make up for what she did, and move on.
Absolutely do not refuse to speak to her - this is an immature and unhelpful response. It conveys to her that she'll be rejected if she makes mistakes, and that's not a healthy way to manage the situation.
