10 yr old top of class with social problems

[daycaremom]

I have a ten year old cousin who academically is the top of her class.  When it comes to making friends it is very hard for her.  One day she will interact with someone who says they are her best friend and the next day they won't even talk to her.  Some of this comes from her as at times she can be bossy.  She has grown up with 2 older siblings and never went to daycare.  Therefore she wasn't around children her own age until she went to school.  My aunt came to me as I deal with children everyday as I have been doing daycare for 5 years.  I do have to say though that I've never had to deal with a situation like this before.  My aunt is searching for ways to help my cousin become more social with other children.  Also to control her anger and bossiness.  Do you have any ideas for her to try to help her out?  She is a very smart ten year old just needs a little help.  I appreciate any help.  Thanks

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Two things might be useful. First, she should be participating in out-of-school, structured activities with peers, principally of a recreational sort. Such activity keeps her 'in the mix', so to speak, and this is important because she will improve her interactions only with additional experience. Second, her parents might pursue a social skills group for her, either at the school or at a local child guidance clinic or agency. Such groups are designed to clarify children's strenths and limitations in social situations, and help them to be more capable as they interact with peers.