10.3 year old child behavior

[just moved]

My son who turned 10 in June has never been an easy child when it comes to disipline. He has always seemed angry. When he was in kindergarten we took him to see someone. (we also just finally had an other child). I don't think it really did much for him in dealing with his anger. He is good for awhile then he gets angry it stays in a cycle. Slams doors, yells ect. Normal kid stuff. We get notes home saying he is too talkative in class or is not respectfull of the other children but they come in waves as well. Never been in big trouble at school. Other parents say how nice and well behaved he is when he is at there house.
We moved to a new state last year..so he has a new school/friends ect. He made a good new friend (very nice)(dosen't live in our nghood) the boys in the neighborhood are 5&6 yrs old and then we have one 7th grader. When they play they get into trouble we have told him that we don't want them playing together. Due to his m/d working the boy is only around on wkends. The boy came back from all summer camp and he has been better, but we feel he is too old for our son to play with. It is hard because then he has only has the younger kids to play with. (8 year old just moved in!) We have had other issues with boy.

Too make a long story short. My husband and I went out on Sat. We told our son to come home. When we where leaving he asked if he could have pizza I said yes,(we had left overs) he asked if the boy could have some we said yes, but then he had to go home.  They called and ordered pizza with the babysitter. My son told the other boy he had to go home. The boy wouldn't leave, my son pulled out a knife of the knife holder (not all the way out) and told him to leave. The boy did then and went home and told his parents he put it to his neck. This didn't happen he later told his parents. I've had problems with this boy and not respecting me.

So last night we sat down with him and had a list of new house rules. No bad words(been talking trash mouth on the bus,he told me the bus driver dosen't hear them) earlier bed time until behavor gets better, no video games not rated E and a few other rules and to never play with this boy again.  He got all mad, mostly at my husband."Said did you get this from DR. Phil ect"  When I went upstairs to check on him he said the f word to me and that he hated his dad. When his dad went up to talk with him about what we had just talked about he put sissors to his neck and said he was going to kill himself.  
I have talked with him and he said was just mad, and if we took him to see someone he would just jump out he window and keep saying bad words. My husband wants him to see someone, I think that we just need to work on all the new rules and help him through the anger at home. Maybe have my husband just spend more time with him doing father/son things.  My husband travels and we moved for his job.  (so he is mad about this)  Cried the day before school started didn't want to go. Help!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

This level of instability is beyond what you should attempt to manage by yourselves. It is indicative of emotional unrest and invites professional intervention. Of course you and your husband are going to manage the behavior at home, and the clinician can help you with that, but it is important to take the bull by the horns. You would not want to reach the point where your son acts on one or more of the aggressive impulses and you regret not having sought help for him. Don't be coerced by his threats about what he might do if you seek help. You're the parents and you need to seek whatever help he needs, regardless of his opinion about it.