11 Year Old Afraid to Sleep Alone

[KAM006]

My eleven year old son is afraid to sleep by himself. Up until last month he slept with us, his parents. Since school has started, we have him sleeping with his eight year old sister who is constantly complaining and not wanting him to sleep with her. He seems to have some fear about sleeping alone. We have tried nightlights, sleeping with the dog, etc. but nothing seems to work.

Also, he is always tired, he has indicated to us. We get him to bed by 9:00 p.m., with him falling asleep by 9:30 p.m. but he has to wake up by 6:30 p.m. We cannot seem to get him to bed any earlier.

However, our greatest problem is that he is extremely fearful of sleeping alone. What are your suggestions.

Also, do they make a children's sleep pill? He is restless throughout much of his sleep.

Thank you.

[momhelp102]

Honey, I am so sorry you go through this every night! That is horrible. I wish I had some advice for you. Has your family talked about you seeing a therapist about your fears?
When I was a kid I had very religous grandparents and they always talked about the "Rapture" I seriously thought I would never have the chance to grow old enough to drive a car, get married, have kids. I can tell you, I am now 45 years old and have done all that. You have to allow yourself to feel less fear and have more fun in your life.
I hope things get easier for you.

[Arbonnemom]

I love your comment and it is so true!!! We have a 9 1/2 year old who is totally resisting bedtime sleeping away from us (she even sleeps with her 8 year old sister) but she says it is because of the storms, which is totally our fault because we drove around after a night of massive winds and looked at all the damage it had done.  We reassure her and everything but she cries even to sleep with her sister and brother.  The hard part for me is that even to give in to her causes a domino effect because she is the oldest od four;(.  

[Nancycat116]

Dear kaos3099.   Your post touched my heart and I hope some time you can talk to your Mom and help her understand your need to see a doctor and get some meds.  Also some advise from my son who is 12 and has the same fears:  wrap yourself up in your blankets so you feel covered and safe.  Its nice to have a flashlight nearby.  And leave on a small light or lamp in your room and the hallway light if possible.  Everthing feels safer when you are not all the way in the dark. Leave a radio on with soft music such as smooth jazz.  One more piece of advise from me (the mom) its ok to sleep with someone you love for now if it makes you feel safe.  I promise you when you are ready you will move on to sleeping alone.

[Jenni1290]

I read this and I can relate to most of the people experiencing this fear. I'm 12 years old and I've had a fear of sleeping alone for about seven years. I am so petrified that something is going to happen while I sleep. I feel like when I am with someone I'm protected and safe. I hate this fear so much. I wish I never had it. It made me feel like an outcast but after reading ALL of these comments, I know I'm not alone with this fear. I feel like something I can't see is going to get me. At one point, I tried sleeping in my bedroom with two dogs, a hamster, three goldfish and a cat but I was still terrified. At sleepovers, I am perfectly fine because other people are with me but I'm always edgy, staying up later than my friends in fear. I had a sleepover with my best friends in one of the girls' basement and I stayed up until 4 am wondering if something was lurking in dark corners. They got annoyed with me because I kept turning on the bathroom light to shed a little light on the terrifying darkness. My father once drew the line and said I HAD to sleep in my bedroom without the lights on. I sat on my bed trembling and cried quietly with small night lights and dim desk lamps on so I wasn't noticed. I wasn't even allowed to have one dog in the room. Consumed by horror, I dragged out my sleeping bag and put it by my bedroom door so I had an easy escape. I waited until my parents' bedroom door shut before going to the bathroom and sleeping in the bathtub (dry). I go to school groggy and exhausted after struggling through each and every torturous night. I was afraid of the fear, if that makes sense. I thought people would think I was weird because I didn't sleep in my room. My room is very bright and is filled with fluffy stuffed animals given to me by family members and friends. My walls are a light green colors, like spring flower leaves. I don't understand why I'm afraid. Please, all parents: if your child has this issue, consult help immediately. Don't just assume that it is some child fear that they will get over later. It's ruining my life and even if it does go away later on in my life, my childhood will drag on slowly, each night more mentally agonizing than the last. Don't let this be your child.

[wantstohelp79]

My sister has a 10 year old boy that sleeps with her every night he never gets disciplined for the things he does wrong even when he uses bad language she blames it on his friends and doesn't belive that he is involved but he is so spoield that the only time he is held accountable is from other family members and they feel bad that they are "bad guys " cause his mom doesn't want to hurt his feelings how or what do I do before something happens and Dcfs gets involved because we all know its not right to have a child that age sleeping with his mom or dad!!

[jts0816]

Im a 11 year old boy im just scard not knowing is someone snuck in or is watting out side p.s. close th blindes it helps