11 y/o Son Crying

[flbaseballmom73]

I have an 11 y/o son, who is out-going, generally well-liked, and very competitive. He has average grades in school, and is well-known and well-liked. He is an excellent baseball player (that is when his attitude doesn't get in the way). I don't know if it's important to note, however, he is shorter than most of the kids his age, and is a bit overweight. He is extremely hard on himself. My husband has been coaching his baseball team for the last two years, however, this year he "played down" with younger kids, as he wasn't picked to play with kids his age, and is playing for another coach (which we believe is because of his attitude). We are nearing the end of the baseball season, and for the most part, he has had a great attitude, and has been a leader on the team. He recently threw a fit at a practice ( he cried b/c he didn't get a chance to bat), and the coach warned him twice about his attitude before throwing him out. He was playing in a tournament game today, and overthrew the ball to miss the double-play and yet AGAIN cried in front of the parents, players and other coaches. The coach didn't hesitate to throw him out of the game, I am at a loss on what to do/how to approach him. We have taken privledges away from him, lectured him, grounded him, he missed practice last night to stay home and clean the house...etc. He continues to say he's "sorry", but the behaviour won't stop. Any suggestions? He is now being made fun of because of his antics. He has an older brother who does not behave this way, and they have been raised in the same environment, so I am totally stumped on what to do.

[allmymarbles]

If this behavior is relatively recent I might suspect he is entering puberty. Some children at this stage have a harder time than others. If he is more than "a bit overweight" and is really fat this might affect his self-esteem. If this is so you might want to limit sweets and eliminate junk food. I would not punish him. If he is having self-esteem problems that might be counter-productive.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Fo the most part this will change as he continues to develop and to experience the 'natural consequences' of such inabiliy to manage the emotions that come with frustration. To assist him it would be usful to have him engage in short course of cognitve-behavioral therapy. Be sure to pick a therapist who is adept at such treatment.