11 year old boy sleeping w/ his mother

My stepson is 11 years old and shares a bed with his mother and his 9 year old brother. She is very protective and is afraid someone will break into the house and hurt him if he sleeps in his own room. He is afraid to be alone and can't even sleep in the room we provide for him at our house when his father has visitation. His father has tried to talk to his mother (ex-wife) but she doesn't think there is anything wrong with an 11 year old and 9 year old boy sharing her bed. She doesn't work, date or do anything outside of devoting her life to her sons. We recently discovered also that Mark is wetting the bed instead of waking his mother and brother in order to crawl out of the bed to the bathroom. Any suggestions to resolve this situation?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The situation deserves attention, but you are not in charge of your stepson's mother's household, so there is likely a limited amount you can do. If the mother would agree to a consultation with a mental health clinician, for the purpose of evaluation and guidance, it might result in some useful advice. However, if she sees no need for help, it's unlikely she'll pursue such a plan. Perhaps there is someone whose advice she trusts who could serve as a catalyst. Try to think of someone who might play such a role. At the bottom line, all you can do is provide sensible, sound parenting when your stepson is with you.

[LAS2008]

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