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11 year old says "he wants to kill himself"
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11 year old says "he wants to kill himself"

my 11 year old son gets really angry and says he wants to kill himself when things don't go his way.
he says his life sucks and he wants to kill himself.  not in an angry way, but non-chalant.  he scribbles it on notebooks when i ask him to finish his homework or with any type of verbal discipline (non physical), and i'm not sure how to handle.....

i've heard this and seen it on writing too many times.....help?
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Avatar_n_tn
Take him to an emergency room right now.  I'm sorry, but two people (my grandmother and my cousin) both committed suicide. If my child ever said those things--we would be in an emergency room getting checked out.  If he is just trying to get attention--then the truth will come out.  However, he may be in real need of help--

Don't be afraid--as a parent you just have to do some things sometimes--to make sure your child is safe and healthy.


I hope things work out for you both.
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Avatar_n_tn
Why does your son's life suck? Have you had a warm, sympathetic heart to heart talk with him?  Kids can be very mean and I would not be surprised if his life AT SCHOOL sucks. If we had to go to the office every day and be subjected to what our children often have to endure, we would quit work...and we would probably sue those who tormented us.  Can you imagine going to work and being called names, ganged up on and being pushed down to the ground or spat upon?  It is very hurtful for a child and it makes them sad, angry, aggressive, defensive....and suicidal!  Personally, I would get him off to a private psychologist ASAP. He may need to be hospitalized. I would get to the bottom of why he is so upset.  Just talk to him at great length and be compassionate.  A kid calling him names should not be met with, :Oh come on, just turn the other cheek...stick and stones...etc."  If school is part of the problem which it undoubtedly is, I would remove him and home school him. Home is usually a safe place and he should be happier there. Is his relationship with Daddy a good one.  Little boys need that feeling of security that comes from a supportive, deonstrative and loving Dad. Good Luck!  BlueEgg
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Avatar_f_tn
Our child said that she wished she were dead.  Her psychiatrist diagnosed her with severe social phobia and depression.  She was six years old.  Please get help immediately.  By the way, if your son is suffering from a mental health issue; the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis.  We wish you and your son well.
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Avatar_f_tn
He needs to see a doctor right away.  
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Avatar_n_tn
I agree that this could be a serious problem. A trained counselor could help identify what exactly is going on, and help your son work through his anger and possible depression. My Godson did the same thing at age 12, but it turned out to be more hormonal confusion than self-destruction. But you certainly don't want to downplay this behavior at this point, as it's much better to err on the side of caution.
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Avatar_n_tn
Personally, take the child to a counselor but before that try having a good talk. Can you plan time during the week just to spend time with him? A family game night? Or even do a puzzle for a few minutes a night. I feel if the lines of communication are open and he feels more secure about it should help. Sure at first he might not like it, so let him choose what to do.
Also kids are full of opinions. Ask him if there is anything that he feels that you are not doing or providing
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Avatar_n_tn
i left a few details out from my original post.  all your advice is a lot of help, and thank you -

my son has a decent life, to what i see.  

he says his life sucks ONLY when i try to put my foot down.  example from his last comment of wanting to kill himself is that he had ideas for his next birthday party.  i let him know that he needs to bring his grades up a little in order to have a birthday party with all his friends.  i didn't say he couldn't have a party, just not a big one.  he immediately stated that his life sucked and that he wanted to kill himself.  he's an average student.  does well in class, but gets lazy with his homework, which is why i suggested to do a little better.  i communicate with his teachers often to make sure he's on track, check his homework during the week, and will be taking parenting classes starting jan. 3rd.  the instructor is also a child phycholigist and from there i can better decide on how to handle these certain situations.  i appreciate everyones help on this.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm gonna say this simple and plain. He is a kid. He is impressionable. He needs a good role model. Also If life ***** that role model needs to fun things with him to make his life worth living. Also start him on a hobby he will enjoy.     You need to let him know who is boss. You are not his friend you are his guardian. Its hard but if you love him you will be strict with him and set rules and limits. GOD BLESS.
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Avatar_m_tn
   Unfortunately, the post you answered is over 5 years old.  But please feel free to keep contributing to the forum
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