Thanks Waitingwithhope. Your words are very encouraging. We are really involved with our church and he does seem happier when we are there. He is even in a leadership team for 5th and 6th graders. They get to help in leading the children's service. This seems to be helping with his self esteem.
I did not think about journaling. That is something I know he would love. I also will work on a more regular sleep schedule.
Thank you again.
It sounds like you are doing everything right. He is also going through hormonal changes too--my sons went through mood swings at this age and they said similar things if they were upset. One of my sons also got severe headaches too due to hormonal changes. Pre-teens are incredibly sensitive to what others think too. So, that part is all normal. Also, they need more sleep than you think and their sleeping patterns really go crazy at this age. If you can, try to keep to a strict sleeping routine--I had to do this with my boys and it really helped. Also, try to choose an activity or hobby that you know that he would be interested in or good at--something that will build him up. Is it possible too that he can get involved in activities at the church with other children his age?
I would also consider getting him to journal his thoughts--he probably needs other outlets for his frustration.
Everything else you are doing seems good. If you still think that his outbursts are alarming and that he shows signs of depression or suicidal tendencies, I would seek out a medical professional's opinion. Drugs are not always the answer, but if it is necessary, I would do some research before I went that route and I would consider it if it helps your son through this.
All the best, it really does seem like you are doing everything right.