11 year olds bedtime fears

My 11 year old son refuses to go to bed on his own at night. Even if everyone else is awake downstairs, he is afraid to shut his eyes and the slightest noise causeses him anxiety. He says it is a fear of someone coming in and harming. I have explained to him how this is silly and not possible but he still cries if left alone in his bedroom. He will also not stay upstairs on his own at any part of the day or night. It ends up usually that either me or my husband have to stay in with him until he falls asleep. He will also wake up in the middle of the night and come into our room if he is on his own. Im sure that this has something to do with the fact that our house was broken into about a year ago. He has also seen some scary movies (such as scream)at sleepovers which havnt helped as he cannot understand that they are just fiction. Please help!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Did your son ever display the ability to fall asleep on his own at a  reasonable time and remain in his bed throughout the night? Did the fears and sleep problems commence with the occurrence of the break-in? Also, how does he do in school and with his peers?

[nurse12hr]

While awaiting the moderators reply, let me give my uneducated opinion.  You commented that you told him "how silly this was, and how it was not possible".  Unfortunately, your son knows that it IS possible, because your house WAS broken into last year.  So his difficulty is grounded in the very real fear that this may happen again.  

[deebelle]

In relation to your query, my son seems fine with his peers and gets on well with his school friends. The only problem he seems to have is perhaps a lack of confidence and a need to be at the centre of attention all the time!

[joe289]

A related discussion, Not falling asleep was started.

[JC3668]

A related discussion, Sleep disorder in my 11 yr old son was started.