11 yr old boy with an ear fixation

[meplus5]

our 4 yr old son told us that our 11 yr old son often licks his ears, at night and in the morning. after some probing our 11 yr old admitted to it. we freaked out. he has ADD and i know he struggles with impulse control. he has ALWAYS had a fixation with touching ears and when he was 5 we caught him doing the same thing to our 1 year old daughter. we had an extensive talk to him at that time about personal space and inappropriate touching. we thought we had made enough of a point and this would not happen again. we have seen no other warning signs that he'd do anything like this again. i am beside myself. we sent him to his grandmother's for the weekend to figure out how to handle this, but i have no idea where to begin. he knew that this was wrong and still did continued to do it. i am so scared that these are the warning signs of a developing sexual predator. WHAT DO I DO?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You're getting way ahead of yourself. The first thing to do is regain your equanimity. How you handle this emotionally is very important. There is no need to 'freak out' or be 'beside yourself'. By sending your son away you are communicating some rejection to him. It would make sense to have him evaluated by a mental health professional so that you can learn more about what this behavior means to him. Is there some erotic meaning to it? Is it a habit pattern that developed at a young age without a sexual component? Who knows. The thing to do is to follow up in a calm, deliberate way.