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11 yr old pacifier
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11 yr old pacifier

How abnormal/normal is it for a 11 yr old to still want to suck on a pacifier at night?  
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282524_tn?1348492612
i think it would be very abnormal, my son isnt 2 yet and he doesnt have a pacifier anymore.
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Avatar_f_tn
It seems quite abnormal to me, but I never gave any of my children pacifiers to start with.

If you however concider thumb sucking to be the same as pacifier sucking, my almost 12 year old daughter still sucks her thumb at night and when watching TV. We want her to stop but she won't!

Does your child still want the pacifier whilst sleeping over somewhere with other children?
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Avatar_n_tn
My 10 year old niece does the same thing. All I know is my brother is going to have a big orthodontist bill because it has ruined her teeth. I suggest that pacifiers are taken away at age one while they can be taken away. Maybe give her something to look forward to like pierced ears or  buy a body pillow to get cozy. And plan a funeral for all the pacifiers to put a closing to it.
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Avatar_f_tn
It's very abnormal and I blame the parents.
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13167_tn?1327197724
eb,  this is a little unusual,  but it seems harmless.  

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Avatar_n_tn
I really think that it is abnormal. Since I don't know you, I just want to ask, does your child have any behavioral issues? If not, Letting your child throw away or have some kind of cerimony for letting the pacifier go. At older ages like 11 or so, your child should really be able to deal with not having the pacifier. I'm not a doctor, but I am a nurse and I have devoted much of my time to my own 3 children. I will not badmouth any parent who is going through this. It can be very hard if you don't have the skills to know exactly what to do.......but you are here for advice and help. I agree with one of the other posters about replacing the pacifier with something else that might be comforting. It's almost like taking the pacifier away from a baby or very young todler even though your child is older. It can be hard on parents because we love our kids so much and don't want to see them upset, but it's for the best and that is the way that you have to look at it. It can cause dental problems as well as social problems. It's best to break the habit asap. Another idea that may work if your child won't go for the going away party for the pacifier is to put something that doesn't taste good on the part that they suck on (ie. the stuff you use to stop nail biting or hot sauce) Whatever you decide to do, just stick with it and be consistant.
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Avatar_m_tn
I am a 18 year old kid and i had pacifier at night until i was around 13, it did not efect my teeth, my uncle is a child phsycoligist he told me this is more commen then most people think,your 11 year will give it up himself soon like i did dont worry about **** other people say .
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Avatar_n_tn
I have to respond to this. My 12-1/2 year old daughter still uses a pacifier. She would be humiliated if her younger siblings or friends knew. She may not use them every night. I don't know if she uses them to fall asleep or in the middle of the night. Every time we have checked on her, she does not have them in her mouth. She is in the top of her class. She is an excellent athlete. She went away to science camp with her class for one week without them. She went to tennis camp this summer for one week without them. I am not worried that she will go to college with them. She needs them under her pillow. I think she is using them less and less. I drink coffee every morning. I look at it the same way. And yes, she is going to an orthodontist.
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Avatar_m_tn
Hi... I'm 29 yo and I'm a normal guy, except one thing... I still suck on a pacifier every night. I realize that's not a normal habit but I can't help myself. I don't bother anyone. I don't want to stop this habit. But if she really wants to give it up, she' ll do it herself.
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Avatar_n_tn
Last year I saw my then 13 year old daughter sucking on one of her old pacifiers she had when she was much younger (about 3 years old).  I had a talk with her and asked her why she was sucking it and she said she had been sucking it on occasion for several years without my knowing.  I told her that I never heard of such an old girl still sleeping with a pacifier but I told her if she's going to sleep sucking a pacifier, I would have to replace the old and worn out one she had.  To sum it up, I replaced it and I still occasionally see her sleeping with it in her mouth but my husband and I don't say anything and it hasn't been an issue so far with the dentist.  Hope this helps...
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Avatar_n_tn
To be all honest with anyone here.  There's nothing wrong with sucking on a pacifier at night every night or even sucking on it when alone, its a very good source for comfort.  No matter how ANYONE puts it, even a 30 year old could do it and feel the same way.  I mean for goodness sake, its not like these people are sucking it 24/7 and in front of public.  I think you should allow your child to keep sucking on the paci' Just make sure you make some simple "rules" but I doubt you'll ever need to speak of those kinds of rules, most people who STILL suck on their binky don't just go out and say "oh hi, I'm sucking on a pacifier still, because I can, and I want to embarrass myself by showing you all"  In-fact some children like to hold on to SOMETHING because it comforts them, just like when you were little and you always watched your favorite cartoon and that was one of your sources of comfort.  No one should take away a item that is of comfort to them.  If its a pacifier then just lay some rules down for it when your child gets older, don't replace it either, not unless you can't use it, otherwise just keep cleaning it and put it in storage or whatever.  Moving on, I'm 20 years old, and I suck on my pacifiers during random times, which is only on occasion.  My teeth are well aligned.  Truth be told, parents are paranoid that their child will get really bad teeth, but the thing is, everyone is different so its just like anything else, its like saying "omg, stop breathing in smoke from that cigar, you'll get cancer" yet people get cancer even without being around smoke.  Everyone's body is different, no matter how you put it, the only way to go is to be the best judger of yourself.  Also, let me lay this down, I've done plenty of research for both "theories" because that's what they are.  I was 7 years old before I gave up my pacifier and put it in storage.  Again, a 6 or 7 year old kid isn't going to take their paci' to school, they know distinctively that it would be embarrassing, so they leave it home.  I've finished my rant.  I'm sure everyone gets my point now.  I hope this helped you out and other people too!  ^ ^    

Akira Claymore ~
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Avatar_m_tn
hi i am dead against giving any 1 a pacifier but i have seen kids upto aged 10 having them. i even seen 1 girl come in shoping with her parents and brother with a pacifier and a nappy on and she would of been about 9.
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535822_tn?1413656274
May I venture to ask why thses really old controversial threads are being dragged up ?
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535822_tn?1413656274
Hi guys .. I agree that it is up to you if you want to have a pacifier, some have blankies, teddies..I think it is a way of soothing yourself and as you get older you will find other ways and be more self confident.,it will pass so dont be concerned what others say .
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Avatar_f_tn
Hi. I'm 12 and I still suck a dummy. Its a comfort thing, my friends have accepted it and my boyfriend who I've been with for about 3 months recently found out cuz he caught me in school,, all my friends have accepted it so I think it's fine. I can walk around with it in my mouth no one really says anything people just get over it no big deal at least I'm not out on the streets smoking and drinking so it's ok, I love the fact that everyones so used to it no one cares I have quite a big school and I'm in year 7 going up to year 8 and my school goes up to year 11 then six form but no one takes any notice even the older kids :) a couple if girls in year 9 going to year 10 have them and they walk around school with them I get angry quite alot so it calms me down I also have a bottle so nights if I can't sleep or I'm sad :) it's a comfort thing, not sure if this helps but your daughter isn't the only one!!!! Hope this makes you feel better about it good luck!!!  
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535822_tn?1413656274
well Livvy you may have created a new cult thing, its up to you but I doubt it looks prettier on a gal that a nice smile and some nice looking lips .
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Avatar_f_tn
well, in my opinion it is just as abnormal as biting your fingernails or shaking your legs when you are sitting at the dinner table. it is more about what gives comfort to the child. yes he probably should have dropped the pacifier about 10 years ago, but probably now that he is soon to become a teenager he will be more concerned about what his friend might say or think and drop it.

i think as parents we try to avoid making the mistakes our parents made, but we make our own mistakes. some parents give their child a pacifier to calm them down, some read them a book, and some cant think of a better way to calm their kids down than with some benadryl.
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Avatar_m_tn
i still have a dummy and im 7teen
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535822_tn?1413656274
I guess guys its what ever frosts your cookies .
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Avatar_f_tn
I am so glad to see thus issue in other children. My daughter will be 9 in 8 weeks and still uses a "sissy", everyone gives me different advice, but the dr tells me she will give it up when she's ready. My son used his until he was 5, but then sucked his thumb until he was 10. I feel if children in their teens can still suck their thumbs and be socially accepted, what harm is it causing to let her have a pacifier at night. She only uses it here and when she's tired in the car. Does anyone have any advice?
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Avatar_f_tn
My sons both still suck dummies age 5 and 9 - I have struggled with it over the years but then I still suck my thumb and I am 34!  So far it has not caused any problem with their teeth and they are both very happy, sociable boys who happily sleep over at other people's houses without dummies when required.  I don't think it is right to take something away from a child that brings them security just because of our inbuilt preconceived ideas of what is socially acceptable and what is not.  I have made a rule that dummies do not leave the house otherwise I think they would walk around with them all day! The only real problem I have is that when they have a dummy in, their brains seem to disengage so I have limited sucking to bedtime and resting times, otherwise it would be like living with two zombies!  Don't quite understand why some kids want to suck and some do not, but then we all are very different from each other in so many ways and this is just another one.  I would not be able to stop sucking my thumb even if I wanted to, it is a great way of relaxing and has never caused me any problems at all.  Surely it is better than using alcohol or drugs to unwind?! I am a naturally calm person who rarely gets wound  up, maybe thumb sucking is the answer...and what is the difference between thumb sucking and dummy sucking? Absolutely nothing, we just seem to think one is cute and the other is socially unacceptable after the age of about one and a half, trouble is people usually don't bother to question these preconditioned ideas which is a shame
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Avatar_f_tn
Help!  My lovely kind happy seven year old suck a dummy still, but I have just come back from the dentist who has told us that if she doesn't stop, she will need orthodontal treatment.  Basically her bite is not developing properly.

I feel so bad for her.  She really only uses it when she's tired at home and in bed - but i'ts obviously affected her teeth. She tried to be really brave about it, but she, poor child is really upset and I don't know the best way to go about it all.  I sucked a dummy when I was her age, but it didn't affect my teeth, so I just gave it up naturally..

What can I do?
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Avatar_f_tn
Are you people insane. If your 11 6year old has a pacifier your a horrible parent. What ever happened to just saying "no". I have two kids. My oldest never had one and the youngest lasted about six months. She cried a few days but it passed. This generation has become a bunch of brats that have never been told no. That does an injustice to the child.
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Avatar_f_tn
If your child ***** on their thumb or pacifier it is very commen my niece still does and if you want to stop them.try curing off the tip of the pacifier off every time a child goes to school
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535822_tn?1413656274
hahah I like that idea ..it sounds like it may work...Moms take note..snip em '
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Avatar_n_tn
You realize Most Kids are recommended for orthodontist Treatment regardless of pacifier use... Ortho Treatment is Certainly Wörth it - don't get wrong- but in out House of 4 Kids- 2 had prolonged paci use - and 2 did Not-- Same genes-- all recommended forortho...and now that i have Kid w prolonged paci use, i was concerned about it As well... Until a Doc friend of Mine told me that there is Some Research that actually is positive for paci use--- apparently it spreads the Palette, Making Room for more teeth, and Avoiding crowding... Made Sense to me.... And for you who do Not Know, there is a pressure Point behind the Front teeth, where a paci touches, or your Thumb in Some cases, which releases those "feel good" endorphins.... Better than Drugs to calm Kids--- and Way better than alcohol Or Some Other Things in which Even Young Kids indulge these days to bring them comfort.... I agree, perhaps something is bothering the Kid, (School, Friends, homelife) but Figure that out with the Kid and then try together to Solve the paci issue..... It is still better than them Ripping out their hair or eyebrows from Stress... IMO...which together w a Couple of bucks, will still buh you a Cup of starbucks Coffee!!!!!!   Hahaha!!! Good luck!
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Avatar_n_tn
I hatte German auto correct!!!!!!  Yes, i do Command the english language- just Not my German spellcheck....sorry....hate it....
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535822_tn?1413656274
Good post Voice  makes total sense to me ..some info there I didnt know , must be better than taking all the drugs that get dished out to weird sounding 'disorders'.
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Avatar_m_tn
being an adult baby i still use a pacifier at age 24. but there are two suprising diffrences about the situation relating to me and my experiance with pacifiers.
The first is my mum still uses one at night, and she is 60 +
The second is i never gave my dummy up i use is all the time were ever i am, and yes that includes in public. For me its very much a comfort to be able to suck on something, but much more a security and a need. I have to have something in my mouth or i just break down emotionaly. Its a pathalogical thing.
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Avatar_m_tn
In my opinion.. honestly.. I think its normal. I have a pacifier myself, but if my siblings or parents ever told my friends I would be so embarrassed! (I'm ten but yeah who cares.) I don't bring it to anywhere public and somehow I can only control not having a pacifier in public. (school, church, etc..) Yet when I'm home or having to go somewhere (a long drive) I must bring it. No matter how hard I try, I cannot help it.  I am so tempted to take it. When I arrive from school to home I take my pacifier and have to suck on it. When I have it, I have to use it. When I know I have it I have to use it or else I will sweat a lot and work up tears.

I always have to use it to go to sleep. I need something in my mouth, and I enjoy using my pacifier. I am so addicted that when my mom tries to stop me I have to sneak it. My mouth feels dry without my pacifier, and when I go to a sleepover I most likely will go home early but sometimes I make it but only because I start biting my cheeks in the inside. (if you know what I mean.)

My teeth aren't ruined (they are perfectly fine) so I wouldn't be worried. We can't help it. Don't just tell them to stop. It's their choice. We cannot help it, honestly.
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Avatar_f_tn
Sorry to break this to all but it could be developing a fetish as an ABDL or just those who hate growing up like me. In the eyes of Society, I'm an immature 21 year old women but in the heart of my own I am a lost 12 year old girl. (Like losing your inner child long story) However, while alone...I use a pacifier to help me sleep and also enjoy drinking warm milk, hot chocolate or green tea from a baby bottle. I say if people aint hurting anyone, it aint a serious crime like a murder if one refuses to grow up. In the end,it's their life not yours. I had a whole family who never accepted me as I am. I felt depressed but never went on Anti Depressants. I stopped feeling depressed the day I walked away from them all. So if you know someone who does this or any other of what you consider "immature" behaviour. Try thinking of all the worse crimes out there such as murder, rape, animal cruelty, drugs and so on? See, being happy and immature aint so bad! Learn to deal with who people are and accept it. If you don't, in years to come they may walk away and never talk to you again so just let people be!
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm 14 and still have a dummy/pacifier, which I only use when I'm at home with my parents. I never use it in public, or infront of my friends and not-so-close family members, partially because I can see how it could be seen as rude, but mainly because it would be so embarrassing.  But, quite frankly, some of you people on here have your heads so far up your own *****, it's literally unbelievable. Saying that childrens parents, and the children themselves, are horrible because they still have pacifiers is outrageous!

As many have already said, it's not just a case of 'Getting rid' or 'Swapping it for something else', it's not that simple, and making your child/relative do so is unfair to them, and just drives a wedge between the two of you. When someone is truly ready to give up their pacifier, they will. forcing someone to give it up only pushes them further towards it, and further away from you. As a parent, all you should want is your child to be happy, and if there pacifier makes them happy, don't take (or even attempt to take) it away from them.

I know that most of you won't understand this, and do just think I'm some spoilt brat with pushover parents, but I'm far from it. My parents aren't the most supportive people in the world, I've lost 6 people to Cancer within the past two years, I only have one true friend that I can trust, and I'm not an A-grade sudent, but you know what? At least I try, which I might not be able to still say if I didn't have something to comfort me, to eliminate the stress at the end of the day and help me get a good nights sleep. To add to this (just to clear any other stereotypes you might be harbouring), no, I don't have bad teeth, wonky lips, terrible parents, a bad attitude or anything else you seem to think we all have, and most of these are also greatly affected by genetics rather than environment. True some people may be affected by things like this, but it varies from person to person, so don't be so stereotypical and class everyone as the same.

So stop being so quick with your judgements and remarks, when you have never experienced something yourself. Would you say any of these things to a person in a wheelchair? No, because you know it's not their choice, just like sucking pacifiers is not ours.

Cheerio, Chloe :) x
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535822_tn?1413656274
you are so right Chloe its up to the individual and there are many other worse little traits, well said ..good post .
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Avatar_f_tn
i'm now a  thirty year old woman and sucked a pacifier until 13. i eventually gave up myself when i started caring about my appearance and realized the damage i'd been doing. i have a cross-bite where the top teeth at one side meet inside the bottom teeth, and my front two teeth stick out a bit. i've always hated my teeth which were never corrected, and this has contributed to feeling insecure about how i look my whole life.  i've always thought one side of my face was kind of smaller and less well developed than the other and just recently i learned that it is because of the cross-bite where the upper palate is smaller than the lower palate which has changed my face.  all due to pacifier sucking. everybody else in my family has perfect teeth. i remember how hard it was to go without the pacifier and i was always told that i would regret it when i was older, and also never to tell anybody about it. medical care providers even told my mum i had something wrong with my palate and a lisp (which is also caused by having a pacifier in your mouth all the time) but did nothing because she didn't want to upset me! i still have a bit of a lisp.  i really feel they should have helped me to stop.  as you can have life-long problems from this. i'm a parent now so i know it's hard, but i think you 've really got to think long term on this one and try to encourage them to stop. i used to suck a lot wth high intensity so maybe even just cutting back could help.
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Avatar_f_tn
anyway, that's just my experience above. i did suck a lot, not just at night, all the time really that i wasn't in public, and maybe i was more susceptible to get the associated problems with palate, teeth and lisp. looks like a lot of people on here have not had these problems. when i had my kid i sought some professional advice about my own history and did some research about the effect on the palate of sucking habits, and came to the conclusion that i wouldn't even start with a dummy with my kid. it seems that sucking thumbs and dummies tend to narrow the palate at the top, leading to the problems i had as the teat is forced upwards into the palate and the sucking pressure pulls the teeth inwards leading to a "v" rather than the ideal "u" shaped palate. apparently  breastfeeding has a different effect and broadens the palate because of the way the nipple flattens in the mouth. apparently in skulls from ancient history the deformity i have is ultra-rare probably because kids were breastfed for longer years ago and other sucking habits weren't as prevelent (apparently, according to what i read). anyway, looks like my problems are not that common and your daughter is probably like the vast majority who don't suck a pacifier often enough or hard enough, or just aren't very susceptible to complications, so i guess i was just on the extreme end, looking at some of the other posts
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535822_tn?1413656274
You know you can still get your teeth fixed, many adults do , you are pretty young ..
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2136621_tn?1355125587
Abnormal .... he needs a new habit.... you don't want him being teased at school etc...
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757137_tn?1347200053
How abnormal is it for a mother to allow an 11-year-old to have a pacifier?
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Avatar_m_tn
well i am twelve and i still suck on a "binky", i use it when i go to sleep and during the day im fine its a comfort thing. And I bet you have some kind of item you use constantly. Just because people have comforts doesn't mean they are brats that have never heard "no", it just means their parents resect their choice and know they will give it up when they are ready. Its not unusual and its safer than having a dangerous habit or addiction.

P.S. the worst thing that could happen is their teeth aren't perfect, SO WHAT you should love them anyways!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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535822_tn?1413656274
I can think of many 'traits and life styles that are accepted today and far worse and injurious to health than sucking a 'binky' ...I doubt if the folks here will continue into adulthood , but its their choice and if it helps them feel okay why not ...
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Avatar_f_tn
My daughter has turned 16 and she still uses them to sleep, we used to throw her dummies away, she would go and buy more and hide them, she would even steal other babies dummies if she had to, it has totally ruined her face shape now, which she isn't happy with but still she will not give them up! How the hell am I guna stop her???
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Avatar_m_tn
A dummy is something good to pacify, sooth, calming down babies/toddlers, (by lots of people hated, disliked too,etc.) but also to children, teens and adults. There are people, who get furious seeing a baby, just start to walk with a dummy in the mouth.

I am suprised, that you realized, when the dummy is used to often, it seems their brain do disengage. It has a calming affect and at the end they fall asleep. But you see toddlers, children very activ playing with a dummy in their mouth. We are all different, some kids like or some refuse the dummy. Like I did refuse a dummy as a baby/toddler and my mother  was struggling hard to calm me down. Later on as a child, teenager I started to think, did I missed something by refusing the dummy.

There is an other side of the dummy, it can engage the brain as well. There are children/teenagers studying, doing their homework, the dummy helps to calm them down (nervious) and the homework is done easier and better. They do and get better in school!

There is no (big) difference between sucking the thumb or a dummy, you are right. There are just minor differences, like the thumb you can`t take away. A dummy is better for the teeth. (smaller, softer) The thumb is better accepted by the public.

One and half year has gone, how is the progress with your sons? I like the way you did handle it.
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973741_tn?1342346373
I think the key is to find acceptable ways to have oral stimulation.  Adults chew gum, s uck on hard candy, etc.  Sucking thumbs and pacifiers past toddler years is not socially acceptable.  Luck to all
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Avatar_m_tn
Your mum and myself we could be of the same age 60+ I guess. Me born 1949. We have one thing in common, we use pacifier to sleep. I am doing it for over 30 years, using it at night. How long does your mother use it? Since birth or starting it later on again?

How right you are, it is very much a comfort to suck or have a pacifier in your mouth. You need it and it gives you security. Keep the good things up!

I started to use a pacifier at night, that my throat is not drying up and sore in the morning waking up. Helped now over many years. It keeps my mouth closed. They say it should stop snoring, it does help some people. After a while, slowly you use your pacifier not only at bedtimes, it has a comforting, calming effect, cut down stress. At home using it watching TV, reading, writing, doing house work etc. In public using it going for a walk, hiking or driving the car sometimes. I am gone a more calm person now and that is good so!
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Avatar_m_tn
Well said, powerful force is never good. In the family, the very young get pushed away, get the feelings not be loved anymore. The poor little ones, don`t love the parents so much anymore, they look at them as forster persons. People say, "don`t worry they verget very quick that the pacifier taken away!" Do they? They accepting it because no choice. (My sister hasn`t vergotten, that mother did cut off the tip of the pacifier, when she was seven years old till today and that was 55 years ago.) We do verget certain things from our life, but the bad things we don`t, we take it with us to the grave.

How much is the pacifier to be blamed for the bad teeth? I believe it is very little, the biggest affect comes from our genetics. I my place it is only the genetics to blame! I never used a pacifier or my thumb in my childhood. I tried one when I was 12, but didn`t liked it. I can say my teeth are not well aligned. Over 50 years ago, the dentists took one of the new tooth out, to make more space for the others to grow better. We didn`t know of braces than! A study said recently, that people who had braces 30 to 40 years ago, have the teeth re-done again. Over the years they did move back again.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Our job as parents is to guide our children into appropriate behavior for their age.  Giving them alternatives is a great way while setting limits on the undesirable behavior  Eventually they should be able to transition to something that is more age appropriate.  good luck
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Avatar_m_tn
Why do some children continue to have an almost obsessive need to put things into their mouths often past the age where it is deemed appropriate?
  
We refer to these kids as ones who have an oral fixation. All babies go through an actual oral stage in development which is quite appropriate - they suck on, bite, chew on and sometimes even swallow things like toys, clothing, paper, pretty much anything they find that they can get into their mouths. For babies, sucking invokes pleasure and can calm a hungry baby or comfort a teething baby. Mouthing and chewing for babies is also a way for them to explore their environment. However, there are some children who continue to engage in these oral type behaviors long after infancy.
  
These children seem to have a need or intense craving to put things into their mouths. They may bite their nails, chew their skin on their hands, suck their fingers or thumb, bite their clothing, chew on crayons, or suck on or chew toys and other non-food items. They may also be children who have poor oral motor skills, may drool excessively, may have poor eating skills (under weight or over weight) and poor oral hygiene habits. They may also be more socially immature and needy, and have more difficulty with separation from their parents.
  
If this sounds like your child, it is advised that you seek an evaluation from an occupational therapist or speech therapist who can assess the reasons behind the need for this oral behavior. Some children have an oral fixation due to being weaned too early or too late in the infant oral stage (with bottle, breast or pacifier). Other children may be under sensitive (hyposensitive) in their mouths and have a need or craving for more oral stimulation that they get by sucking or chewing on non-food items. These children when eating may prefer intense flavors like hot, salty or sour. Some children engage in these oral behaviors due to a diagnosis or developmental delay. For many children this is a sensory need and by developing a sensory plan which includes ways to appropriately satisfy their oral cravings, while teaching coping strategies and substitutions for inappropriate oral behaviors we can gradually get these kids on a successful path to reducing their oral fixations.
  
Therapists may use a combination of therapy tools to help your child overcomes his or her oral fixation. Some examples can be seen at the links below:
Chewy Tubes
Chewable Necklaces and Bracelets
Vibrating Probes
Grabbers
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Avatar_f_tn
I'm 15 occasionaly sleep with one. My teeth are fine. nobody knows about it. im perfectly normal.
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480448_tn?1403547723
Blank
nursegirl6572
PA