12 y/o nighttime fears, responsibility, and counseling questions

[PeteB]

Our 12 year old son consistently has problems getting to sleep and staying asleep, fearing that someone will come in and kill him.  Frequently (like, every other night), he has to have one of us sleep with him.  We live in a safe neighborhood, no history of break-ins nearby, don't watch scary movies, have repeatedly pointed out that he is safe.  Gets very "clingy" as bedtime approaches.   He is prone to stomach problems anyway (Lazy Bowel Syndrome), and inevitably his stomach starts to hurt at night as the anxiety level increases.

Probably unrelated, but another issue... he simply refuses to accept that any failure or lack-of-progress is HIS fault... if he can't do some trick on his skateboard, it's because his skateboard is inferior... if he didn't get to play enough in the soccer game, it's not because he doesn't hussle enough, it's because the coach is no good.  Could be related to the fact that he has an over-achieving older sibling...

My wife and I are inclined to consider some form of counseling for both issues, but how does one introduce the idea of going to a mental health counselor to a 12 year old ?  From a financial point of view, how much should I expect counseling to cost?

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.
-pete

[Mmaosha]

A related discussion, childhood development was started.

[worry wort too]

I have fears at night when I am home alone. I fear that someone will come and get me. I got a dog he lets me know if someone is approching. it makes me feel safe. when I get scared i think my dog will keep an eye on things and all my fears leave me.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

In relation to introducing the plan for counseling, simply tell him that you've decided to seek help for him around some of the worries he experiences at night. This is truthful and straightforward.

Relative to cost, if you have health insurance most plans make provision for some mental health coverage. So be sure to check on that. Most insurance plans cover all but a basic co-pay (e.g., $5-15 or so) for the first 8-10 sessions during a calendar year, after which the co-pay may increase or some higher cost might be introduced. As a rule, apart from the issue of insurance coverage, intial evaluations generally cost from $100-200, and hour-long therapy appointments cost from $75-125 or so. There is a lot of variability, and sometimes (particularly when clinics are involved) there are sliding fee scales whereby the cost is determined by income. If medication is involved (as it sometimes is with youngsters who experience anxiety disorders, e.g., such as your son might display, the initial evaluation can be higher but follow-up appointments are generally for a shorter time (e.g., 30 min.). Don't let the matter of cost prevent you from doing the homework - just be sure to ask the questions, and be sure to check with your insurance company or your company's benefits office.