12 y/o w/ ADHD ~multiple probs.

[stepmomx2 / momx1]

My 12 y/o stepson who has been diagnosed w/ ADHD has had 19 discipline referrals this school year.  This has included lying, stealing, physical abuse to other students, threats to teachers, not staying in seat/on task, hiding in the boys bathroom when he had been suspended,argumentative w/ teachers and removal from the bus for the rest of the year.  He is basically one step away from expulsion from the local school system.  He currently takes .01mg of Clonidine and 36mg of Concerta daily.  He is going to a psychologist to help w/ behavior probs...however this seems to be a very slow go.  At home he has days when he is very well behaved and days when he is phys./verb. abusive to his 11y/o brother and refuses to obey.  We are really out of things to "take away"...he will read a book if he is grounded from his game system or outside.  Or he will draw.  Anything to seem "OK" with his punishments. We feel that he is headed directly for a bad future and possibly jail.  Do you have any suggestions?  Thank you.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

He clearly displays emotional disturbance beyond the ADHD. Such behavior can be indicative of Oppositonal Defiant Disorder, Conduct Disorder or even Mood Disorder. I have two suggestions. The first is to arrange a reassessment of his medication. The current regimen is not sufficient to address the behavioral disturbance. The second suggestion is to pave the way for his referral to a school that specializes in teaching students who display behavior disorders. He cannot be taught successfully within the regular educational program. If he has never been evaluated under provisons of the special education laws in your jurisdiction, it's important to arrange that evaluation.

[onroute]

Dont give up.  Keep looking into this until you are happy with results and feel secure and happy that he is getting the right help.  There is help out there it is just finding the right sources.  BUT DONT GIVE UP....KEEP GETTING HIM HELP UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY WITH RESULTS.  Even if it takes 10 yrs...tell him you are for him and want to help him not feel so negative..I dont know but support him in ways that will register that you care but not babying him or self pitying him.  He is a ccountable for his actions and there is a training involved. But on the other side if there is an imbalance...it will be hard for him....

You get help for yourself as well.......dont leave yourself out...the more you are filled up the more you can give out....and I am sure the stress is great in your home....get help even for the other child...but get help for all of you!  No one should suffer alone without help!  Not the mom or the children.  There are people who are WILLING to help you and your family.  Keep reaching out until you fnd what you are needing.  Dont take second best.   Get the Best!

[Chefmel]

My son has ADHD and I think he is socially immature, we have been in therapy for two years and he has special IEP's we go to for his schooling.  Have your son assessed by the school personnel and start getting him the right schooling environment, that will help a lot.  If he doesn't succeed in one area they will place him in another school or help him out numerous other ways.  Don't give up!!!