About two months ago, my 13 year old brother was caught touching and rubbing his 6 year old sister's private parts. My dad talked to him about it, decided it was just curiosity, and choose not to do anything about it, besides scolding him and punishing him for lying. At the time, every instinct told me that this wasn't normal, and that we should seek outside help, but my dad firmly disagreed with me. Now, I found out that, not only did he do it again, he's done it at least one other time. He never came forward and admitted it; both times he was caught in the act and only admitted it after extensive questioning. When he was asked why he did it, he said because he thought he wouldn't get caught. He seems to show very little remorse about it, even though he says that he knew it was wrong and that he felt guilty. My dad finally agreed that this is a problem that needs to be addressed, but he doesnt want to call child protective services. I feel like it's my fault that it happened again, because I didn't report it the first time, and I'm terrified that my brother will do it again, not just with his sister, but possibly with one of his younger brothers ( one is 11 and the other 8, but the 8 year old has some developmental problems). I know I need to report this to child protective services (and I hate myself for not doing it the first time), and I'm going to, but my dad wants me to let him handle it; he says that their his children, not mine, and I don't have the right. How can I convince him that reporting the abuse to the authorities is the right thing to do?
Hi! I am so sorry for the problems you are facing right now, but thank God your younger siblings have you in their lives. You're a good big brother.
IMHO, you should give your father an ultimatum. If he does not report the
incident to child protective services within this week, you will do it. Your first and main concern must be protect the young children, who certainly are at risk near your 13 year old brother. He shows no remorse and will not stop sexually harassing the young kids. For God's sake, he is 13 y/o and should know better that this kind of behavior is unacceptable and your father is in denial.
Yes, margypops is right. Child on child molestation is usually because the perpetrator was molested themselves. Very sad situation. I hope that someone gets help for your brother as well as protect the younger siblings.
As far as I know, he hasn't been abused. That was one of the things I asked him, when I found out what he did. My dad did say that my brother's biological father used to watch porn in front of him when he was little, though. I don't know what's behind his behavior, and honestly, I don't care right now. My main concern is my younger sister, whom we actually know has been taken advantage of; I just want to make sure that she's safe. Maybe that's not fair to my brother, but right now, she needs me more. Thanks to those of you who offered advice, I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.
Oh, and to Bracalipp:
I already tried an ultimatum, and it didn't meet with much success. My dad says he's going to talk to someone this week about getting my brother some help, but he doesn't want to either call child protective services, or even get help for my little sister. He says she's too young and won't remember it. This is really stressing me out, because it feels like I'm the only one who's more concerned about my sister's (the victim in this situation) well-being than helping the one who actually committed the crime. Sure, the kid needs help, but he shouldn't come first in this situation: she should.
Who are the bio parents of the 13 year old, and who are the bio parents of the 6 year old, and who's married to whom here?
Reason I ask is it's HIGHLY unusual for a man to allow his stepson to have sexual access to his younger daughter.
BTW, at this point, they've been caught so many times engaging in sexual behavior with adults in the house that this is apparently both of their choice to do this. This isn't like some big awful horrible secret she's being forced to keep for fear of being harmed - it sounds from your description that she's choosing to help keep this behavior a secret. Which, when she grows into an older teenager will devastate her more than if she were an unwilling participant.
Best wishes. You sound like the only one for miles around who has normal sensibilities - I hope you get through this and help both of them.
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