13 yr. old son hiding sisters panties, and wearing?

[momcare13]

I have found my teen son twice now with his sisters (12 yrs. old) panties hidden in his room. The first time they were wet, and he had cut a hold in the area where his ..... would be.  Last night, I found about 4 pairs under his pillow.  I was horrified, and asked what he was doing with them, in a calm, concerned tone.  He was very embarrassed and did not want to talk about it.  He finally told me that he was wearing them.  I have never heard of this, and have no idea why he is doing this?  I know that he is going through puberty, and is masterbating.  Just because of the locked door occasionally, and him taking a shower at random times in the middle of the day.  I have always been open about sex, and being comfortable with his body, and his sisters.  I'm a single mother, and his father has had pretty much nothing to do with him.  I know that has hurt him, and had an effect on him.  I'm concerned that this is a sign that something is seriously wrong with him, psychologically.  I could care less if he is gay, trans, etc.  I would love him no matter what!  I just don't want him to be suffering in silence, if he is having confusing feelings about his body, or sex.  Any advice would help with how to proceed.  I don't want him to feel ashamed about himself.  I want to handle this the best way possible, but am very confused as to why he is doing this.  I don't think him taking his sisters panties has anything to do with his sister.  I think it's probably because he doesn't have access to panties other than his sisters.  Thank you very much for any help you have to offer!  

[RandomPerson975432]

Well,  my most likely the fact that he is going through puberty. He’s curious about new things (no matter how strange it may be).  This is normal in most young boys. Either try to talk about it to him, and try nicely, or just wait and see if he outgrows it.

[SuperShotMom]

My Husband is 43 years old and a cross dresser, he is not gay although he admits to being curious he's isn't attracted to men... 5 o'clock shadow and all that. Anyway, back in his teen years when he was discovering his sexuality the only books or pictures he had were the Victoria Secret catalogue or one from JC Penny's. He realized that he very much enjoyed wearing women's underwear while ejaculating. He was found out by his father (his mother wasn't around) well 30+ years ago wasn't at all like today. His father shamed him and made him feel horrible about it, he went so far as to dress in drag and have my husband take pictures of him (I think he honestly felt guilty because he secretly did the same things) anyway it really messed my husband up. He feels massive amounts of guilt about it but yet he still has the desire. He is overly masculine because he feels as if he needs to compensate for his sexual desires. I've told him he shouldn't feel any guilt. He isn't hurting anyone but himself and he only hurts himself when he tries to suppress his urges. Try and be supportive, if it's only an adolescent phase he'll grow out of it. However if he is a cross dresser or Bi or Gay, he needs to know that you love him unconditionally. You don't want him to grow up and become a guilt ridden adult how has trouble forming meaningful relationships and has major trust issues. Just my two cents worth from a woman with a little experience

[Parent_helper101]

I have nothing against the LGBT community infact I'm for be who and what you want. If your son wants to be gay or trans help him so he isn't struggling. And if it's just a phase then it'll come and go. All and all help him and ask him what he wants and be open to anything.

[ArmyMom79]

I have a 20 year old and 18 year old sons. I to know all about the long showers and locked doors. The only thing I ever told my boys was that masturbation is totally normal, but to make sure I never walk in on them, LoL. They understood what I meant, lock the door. I to found my own underwear in my son's room when he was about 12 yrs old. I just took got them back and very said anything. I figured he would figure it out I had found them when he came home from school to a clean bedroom and he realized the panties were gone, I figured saying something would just embarrass him. Trust me my son is now 20 yrs old and not gay or a cross dresser. So my best advice to you is to make sure your son understands masturbation is normal and since he already told you he likes to wear them, just let him know if he ever needs to talk about his feeling he can always come to you. Once your kids know they truely can talk to you and you not going to trip out on them or blow things out of parotion they will open up more and more to you about their feeling. Kids just need to know they are safe with you, that there is nothing that will change your love for them and your not going to judge them.

[ArmchairPsych]

I wouldn't worry about this or even ask him about it. He's probably just a horny teenager with raging hormones and something as simple as a female's underwear can be a huge turn on! It's kinda like how 13 year olds get really turned on by the idea of ejaculating in a condom. It's a reminder of real sex. Panties are a way to fantasize being with a real woman. It's not necessarily even a cross dressing thing. Some men get turned on by ejacykating into a woman's underwear. Don't embarrass him, and don't ask about it. He's not hurting anyone and its, frankly, none of your business. His sex kids is his sex life.

[proudarmyinfantrymomma]

I raised 2 boys as a single mother as well and I learned that no matter that we made these human beings with our own bodies, seen every square inch of them and know every freckle on their little butts, they become strangers from another planet when puberty hits! Lol! I have to say I never had the panty issue happen but the extra showers and locked doors were definitely know a lot about. What I do know is he is at the age that he is exploring his sexuality and what does it for him so to say. I am sure he was very embarrassed and maybe even defensive because he himself probably does not know why. And like every other kid out there I am sure that he knows all about cross dressing and drag queens from the tv/internet and may be confused as to why he likes this. That being said I am NOT saying that he is going to do drag or anything. But a friend of mines son that I have been around since the day he was born, and is now 23, cross dresses (in the privacy of his own home) and told
His mother that it began when he was 7 with his sisters clothing. He is also a gay man and the still the sweetest, kindest most loving person I know. If this is bothering you and you think it may be bothering him because he does not understand why he does this then taking him to a child psychologist would be helpful. If nothings else it may aid in him understanding his own behavior. And in turn the DR explaining it to you. Until then though as long as he doesn't become withdrawn, grades start suddenly falling or attitude takes a turn for the worse, I don't think you have too much to worry about. I would just leave his bed alone from now on and tell him he needs to keep his room cleaned and bed made so you don't have to go into his personal space and find anything else. Good luck and good for you for trying to get answers first instead of screaming at him.