14 month old is not sleeping alone well at all

Help,
My daughter is 14 months and a week.  She screams bloody murder whenever she is put into her crib for the night or nap.  She starts sleeping in my wife's arms and then when placed into her crib starts crying, screaming, howling like she is being tortured.  Tonight's tantrum is 45 minutes and no sign of calming at all.  Do I let her continue like this until she sleeps?  Seriously, this crying is way over the top and is rapidly taking its toll on me and my wife.  

[girlybuff]

I feel your pain.  She's playing you.  It's a battle of wills.  
I just went through this.  I swore I would NEVER EVER be the parent that let her cry it out BUT that's now who I am.
I am still breast feeding in the morning and before my 15month old daughter goes to sleep and she has never slept in a crib or napped unless she was napping ON someone.  We call them snappies because you snap your fingers and they're over.
Anyway, I digress...... I decided enough was enough not just for me and the fact that I couldn't breathe with a 30 pound toddler sleeping on top of me but for her as well.  She was not getting a good night's sleep and although she was never cranky, she was tired and they need their rest..... so......... I made a decision and I did it.
Now, I am not an advocator of this AT ALL if your child is under a year.  Infants need to be attended to whenEVER they cry BUT this is how it went.
Night one, she fell asleep nursing then I placed her in the crib.  She woke up about an hour later SCREAMING, gaggin, uncontrollable.  So I went up, I did NOT pick her up.  I gave her kisses, showed her that her stuffed animals she sleeps with went night night and kept patting the pillow.  Nothing worked so I left the room, never for more than 15 minutes for the first 5 times the crying went on.  I gradually in the first night (which was an all nighter by the way) increased my response time.  I must let you now that at NO time did she stop crying........... she had moments of soft whimpering but I think it was just to save her strength.  LOL
She finally got so exhausted she literally fell down onto her knees and sat up and nodded her head for about an hour like a drunkard before she FINALLY and literally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.
So I was happy and determined but I will not lie.  It was heart wrenching.  I cried and prayed and thew up myself.  I thought I was bring cruel, I still do a little but what we had created together was not working anymore.
The next night she went to sleep and slept all night.  I thought a miracle had happened.  Not so, the third night she screamed like I have never heard anyone scream before.  She threw her bottle across the room and her pillow and it was horrible but I did not go up.  Somehow I did not go up.  It lasted 2 and a half hours.
Night 4, cried for 15 minutes, slept like a baby!  LOL
Now she knows how to reposition herself on her own if she's not comfortable.  She knows night night is night night.  I was lucky.  I've heard of it taking 7 -10 days or even 2 weeks of crying.  You have to stick with it though.  As a parent you can distinguish between I WANT MOMMY NOW and I NEED HELP because I'm scared.
I suggest you do the same routine every night.  Get a night time key word like night night or sleepy time or sshh sshh... something she can say to everyone in the house, including her animals and herself in the mirror so it's a ritual for her.   Make sure she has something that smells like you in the crib along with a stuffed animals or two.
Hang in there.... it does get better.