my son is 14 and very popular at school and he could probably be catorgized as a "jock". He is usually pleasant and behavior wise is a good kid, my problem is he seems to think school is a social day, he blows off his home work, he does't study for test therefore his grades this year has gone from B-C to C-D and right now an F. We ask him every day about homework and test so we can assist him, he replies he did it at school or he doesn't have any, he is getting F's and 0's becaus he isn't turning in his homework adn isn't studing for test, which is killing his average grade. I have discussed this with his teachers, they all have moved him to the front of the class but still no changes, his grades have actually gotten a bit worse this new semester. I'm at my wits end, again he does not give us alot of lip or isn't disrespectful its actually as if he's just silently refusing to do well in school. We have grounded him and taken all his electronics from him, we are not the type of parents who makes deals or give in on his punishment, he has not had priviledges for over 7 weeks now because he hasn't brought his grades up to be allowed anything extra. I have tried talking to other parents and they think we are way to strict and "it's just a phase". PLEASE HELP
He just started high school this year, didn't he? Yes, it's a bit of an adjustment. My daughter didn't do so well last year either in 9th grade. She was way too into the social part of high school and didn't take her work seriously. I too stayed in contact with her teachers, etc. I think it gets to a point, though, where you have to let them take responsibility for themselves. I would tell my daughter over and over that the grades count now. They might not have in middle school and they'd even pass them on, but once your in high school you have to pass the courses or you won't graduate when you expected to. I think she's finally getting it. I told her she may have to have an extra year or extra semester now to graduate if she doesn't have enough credits, or take summer school.
I don't think you're being too strict. You say he's a jock, right? I'd use that as a warning too. He won't be allowed to play sports if he's grades are too low. The schools won't allow it. And I would tell him no going to games until his grades are pulled up. Most schools have a web page now too where you can check to see if he has homework. Again remind him that he WILL have to repeat that class if he fails it, either in summer school or the next year. Most kids dread the idea of summer school.
Here's an idea. Does he have an assignment book? If not, get him one. Have him write down each assignment from each class every day and if you want you can have the teacher check it off every day. Get him used to that idea. That might help him get better organized. A lot of times the kids just need help getting better organized. He may really think he doesn't have homework. This way it will show what he has because he is writing it down every day. Tell him that he must do this for each class and have the teacher check it off to start off with. If there's no homework, he can write "no homework" for that class but the teacher has to check it off. Just do this for awhile until he gets used to doing this on his own. Once he's consistantly doing it you can let him do it on his own without the teacher having to check it off. We make our kids do this and it did help.
If he doesn't understand something in class, tell him that he must ask the teacher if he can stay after school for extra help. I'd have him do that with the teachers that he has the D's and F's in anyway until the grades are pulled up. Have him ask the teachers if there's any extra credit he can do to help pull the grades up. Sometimes kids give up if they're failing. Don't let him do that. Tell him that he can pull that grade up. It is possible, but he must ask the teacher for help. And keep in contact with the teachers. If he still refuses to do any of this, then the reprucusions are that he may have to repeat a grade or go to summer school. At some point he has to take responsibility for himself. You can be there to help him but there's only so much you can do. Hope any of this helps. Best wishes.
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